*read it as if were an infomercial*
Hi fellas!
Did that beautiful girl you dare to call your girlfriend that for no understandable reason is with you, threaten to get the hell outa if you continue playing silly computer games?
Did you realize that this game is all about powergaming, and basically you are too old to spend 5 hours a day for 2 months clicking continuously at the hammer so at some point in a distant future you can make an almost decent armor?
Did you believe that crap about your stats matching your char personality, and you create a lame warrior with 14 of will power and 12 of perception that keeps getting ghosted by flies?
Look no further! all your problems have a simple solution!
Call 555-OMFGTHEORCSARECOMIN (or PM the writer of this post) and we will make your dreams come true, a decent permanent death as a REAL human (or whatever you are) sacrifice!
At a convenient time, all for your own pleasure, a band of dirty and smelly orcs will come to your village, beat the crap out of your char, tide him up, bring him to the top of the sacred mountain and take out the beating heart of your char, full satisfaction guaranteed! And if you call before the first five minutes, we might even include feasting with your entrails. What are you waiting? Call now!
Conditions: no greenskins allowed, though halflings are preferred (softer meat) any pale skin is allowed. Please do not contact us in case you belong to a guild or something like that, we don’t want any retaliations, we love war but only if when can win it.
Sacrifice needed (experience preferred)
Moderator: Gamemasters
