Dei leans against the castle wall, half covered in shadows. He looks to the south, watching the smoke and dim glow billow from the city. He once guarded that city, He still does in his own way. He watches the dark smoke rise into the sky, with a look of sadness on his face.
"Another home left to ruins. Atleast i have kept my promise to pendar. but now..how to get the Town back. I could--"
Dei looks up as he hears a song floating in the air from the roof, he hears a song being played on a flute, sad and melencholy, it makes him think of the town, and how it's burning to the ground.
He thinks to himself watching the glimmer of what was once trollsbane glow
All those people in there fought a brave fight. But it's still not enough. We are low on medico's and are damn near distraught of fighters. how we will win this fight is damn near impossible to see. I hate to admit it, but jacob's plan is good. but we must see what we are up against first, and that means my plan still has to go. Berengar was right, it was insane, but thats how I am i guess. Insane, extremist, rash. All these come with the Job.
How i wish Rath and matthew where here to help me..if we were togther this fight would have been over alot earlier.
And that jacob. he fights well, but he's too damn stubborn. If he was not so stubborn i would go along with his plan. but i still do not see why he has to put down every other plan. Our plan is just as important as his. bloody idiot..He doesn't know what i do for his town. No one does. Except Caitlin. Caitlin knows what I do day and night, why I get no sleep. Even here, it's not even trollsbane, i find myself guarding everyone. But why must I? i want to tell myself i guard it because of My Promise and because mairead is inside, but i feel it is not so.
Dei looks around him and sees no other guards awake, the soft tune still flowing down from the roof. He pulls his cloak around him and places the black cloth other his face, making him invisible. Only his eyes can be seen in the darkness, from only a few paces away, just enough for striking distance of his poison daggers. He keeps watch on the bridge, and the soft glow of the town burning to ashes.
At the Grey Rose.
Moderator: Gamemasters
-
Caitlin Fergus
- Posts: 316
- Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:30 am
((deutsche Übersetung unterhalb))
Caitlin sat in the library of the Grey Rose at a table. With a feather in her hand she stared down at the unwritten parchments.
Her face was paler as usually and her hand trembled slightly while thinking about the words to write, yet she wasn't able to concentrate. She heard people saying that Trolls Bane was burning; and not only Trolls Bane, but also the trees. Caitlin felt it. It pained her.
How many people died and were wounded today? How many she had treated ... and why wasn't she able to do more?
She recalled the scene as she walked alone to the bridge that leads to the Grey Rose castle. Caitlin had kneeled down and prayed to Ushara, asking her for help against those undeads and her prayer got heard. Plants grew over the bridge, forbidding any creature without soul to pass it.
Instead of starting to write she leaned her head on the wooden table, distracted by her thoughts and worries. She wondered about Ariges. Caitlin had met him before and she thought him as a young, smart man, though a little bit misguided by his dreams of immortality. She warned him; told him not to go deeper into those matters – it would be dangerous. But he ignored her words and now it was too late. Now his appearences was that of a lich and it seemed he fulfilled what he dreamed of.
It can't be true, Caitlin thought, this can't be what a young man like him really wishes. Didn't he listen to his heart? Was he so scared of 'death' that he prefered to live in a state that actually was even worse than ' being dead' could be? He denied himself paradies with choosing this path.
And hasn't it been Ariges himself who gave her seedlings of trees just the day before?
Caitlin's thought wandered to the song she sang the other day at a campfire. It was a song about a man who claimed that true might is only possessed by those who aren't touched by love, hate or pain, but it is only a half truth. Of course it was easier to live a life without emotions; but what kind of life is that at all?
No matter if Love, Sorrow, Anger or Happiness. Emotions are a part of mortal being; emotions give real strength though maybe sometimes one gets misleaded.
Wasn't it emotions who gave all our doings and deeds a sense?
She would not give him up so easily. Neither Ariges, nor Dravish. Yes, both were guilty for causing pain and sorrow to innocents and both may did not even care; yet Caitlin believed in the good of both of them. That's just how she is.
There was so much darkness, rage and death on this island and Caitlin tried to hold the balance and and partially not even intentionally she got into that other extreme for this. The pendular always swings in both directions.
The pain in Caitlins arm called her back to reality and she straightened, looking once more at the parchments. With a trembling hand she dipped the tip of the feather into a little glass of ink and started to write.
How many priests do we have on this island, Caitlin wondered as she adressed her first later to Fedaykin, and why do some people still have the misconcept that one can kill something with a blade though it is already dead?
****
Caitlin saß am Tisch der Bibliothek in der Grauen Zuflucht. Mit einer Feder in der Hand starrte sie auf die unbeschriebenen Pergamente.
Ihr Gesicht war blasser als sonst auch schon und ihre Hand zitterte leicht während sie darüber über die Worte nachdachte, die sie zu Papier bringen wollte; jedoch war sie nicht in der Lage sich zu konzentrieren.
Sie hörte die Leute sagen, dass Trolls Bane am brennen war. Und nicht nur Trolls Bane, sondern auch die Bäume. Caitlin fühlte es. Es schmerzte.
Wieviele Leute sind heute gestorben und verwundet worden? Wieviele musste sie behandeln... und warum war sie nicht in der Lage mehr zu tun als das?
Sie erinnerte sich and den Moment als sie zu der Brücke ging, welche zur Grauen Rose führte. Caitlin war niedergekniet und betete zu Ushara, der großen Mutter. Sie betete um Hilfe und Unterstützung gegen die untoten Kreaturen und ihr Gebet wurde erhört. Pflanzen wuchsen über die Brücke; ein Barriere die nichts vorbeilassen würde, dass keine Seele hatte.
Anstatt anzufangen zu schreiben, legte Caitlin ihren Kopf schwer auf den hölzernen Tisch, abgelenkt und gepeinigt von ihren Gedanken und Sorgen.
Sie dachte über Ariges nach.
Caitlin hatte ihn schon vorher getroffen und sie hielt ihn für einen jungen, wissbegierigen Mann, welcher durch seinen Wunsch nach Unsterblichkeit missgleitet war. Sie warnte ihn und sagte ihm, er solle sich nicht zu sehr mit dieser Sache beschäftigen – es wäre zu gefährlich. Aber er ignorierte ihre Worte und nun war es zu spät. Nun war sein Erscheinungsbild das eines Lichs und wie es scheinte hatte er sich das erfüllt wovon er geträumt hat.
Das kann nicht wahr sein, dachte Caitlin, hörte er denn nicht auf sein Herz? Hatte er so viel Angst vor dem 'Tod', dass er einen Zustand bevorzugte der noch viel schlimmer war als 'tot zu sein'? Im Endeffekt hat er sich den Zugang zum Paradies selbst verweigert.
Und war es nicht Ariges selbst, welcher ihr noch einen Tag zuvor Setzlinge für Bäume überreicht hat?
Caitlins Gedanken schweiften zu dem Lied, welches sie einst am Lagerfeuer sang. Es war ein Lied über einen Mann der behauptete das wahre Macht nur jenem gehören könne, der nicht von Liebe, Hass oder Schmerzen berührt wird. Jedoch war dies nur eine Halbwahrheit. Natürlich war es einfach ein Leben ohne Gefühle zu leben, aber was für ein Leben war das denn?
Egal ob Liebe, Traurigkeit, Wut oder Glück. Gefühle sind ein Teil des sterblichen Daseins; Gefühle sind es die uns wahre Stärke geben, auch wenn sie uns manchmal missleiten.
Und waren es nicht eben diese Gefühle die unseren Handlungen und Taten einen Sinn gaben?
Sie würde ihn nicht so einfach aufgeben. Weder Ariges, noch Dravish.
Ja, - beide hatten sich schuldig gemacht in dem sie Leid und Traurer über Unschuldige brachten und beide kümmerte dies wohl nicht; aber dennoch glaubte Caitlin an das Gute in ihnen.
So war sie nun mal.
Es gab so viel Dunkelheit, Zorn und Tod auf dieser Insel und Caitlin war es, die versuchte das Gleichgewicht zu halten. Öfter als nur einmal schwankte sie aus genau diesem Grund in das andere Extrem, wenn auch nicht mal wirklich absichtlich.
Das Pendel schwingt immer in beide Richtungen.
Der Schmerz in Caitlins Arm rief sie zurück in die Realität und sie richtete sich wieder auf während ihr Blick zurück zu den Pergamenten wanderte. Mit zitternder Hand tunkte sie die Federspitze in ein Glass Tinte und begann zu schreiben.
Wieviele Priester gab es auf dieser Insel, fragte sich Caitlin als sie ihren ersten Brief an Fedaykin addressierte, und warum hatten manche Leute immer noch diese falsche Vorstellung das man mit einer Klinge etwas töten konnte was schon längst tot war?
Caitlin sat in the library of the Grey Rose at a table. With a feather in her hand she stared down at the unwritten parchments.
Her face was paler as usually and her hand trembled slightly while thinking about the words to write, yet she wasn't able to concentrate. She heard people saying that Trolls Bane was burning; and not only Trolls Bane, but also the trees. Caitlin felt it. It pained her.
How many people died and were wounded today? How many she had treated ... and why wasn't she able to do more?
She recalled the scene as she walked alone to the bridge that leads to the Grey Rose castle. Caitlin had kneeled down and prayed to Ushara, asking her for help against those undeads and her prayer got heard. Plants grew over the bridge, forbidding any creature without soul to pass it.
Instead of starting to write she leaned her head on the wooden table, distracted by her thoughts and worries. She wondered about Ariges. Caitlin had met him before and she thought him as a young, smart man, though a little bit misguided by his dreams of immortality. She warned him; told him not to go deeper into those matters – it would be dangerous. But he ignored her words and now it was too late. Now his appearences was that of a lich and it seemed he fulfilled what he dreamed of.
It can't be true, Caitlin thought, this can't be what a young man like him really wishes. Didn't he listen to his heart? Was he so scared of 'death' that he prefered to live in a state that actually was even worse than ' being dead' could be? He denied himself paradies with choosing this path.
And hasn't it been Ariges himself who gave her seedlings of trees just the day before?
Caitlin's thought wandered to the song she sang the other day at a campfire. It was a song about a man who claimed that true might is only possessed by those who aren't touched by love, hate or pain, but it is only a half truth. Of course it was easier to live a life without emotions; but what kind of life is that at all?
No matter if Love, Sorrow, Anger or Happiness. Emotions are a part of mortal being; emotions give real strength though maybe sometimes one gets misleaded.
Wasn't it emotions who gave all our doings and deeds a sense?
She would not give him up so easily. Neither Ariges, nor Dravish. Yes, both were guilty for causing pain and sorrow to innocents and both may did not even care; yet Caitlin believed in the good of both of them. That's just how she is.
There was so much darkness, rage and death on this island and Caitlin tried to hold the balance and and partially not even intentionally she got into that other extreme for this. The pendular always swings in both directions.
The pain in Caitlins arm called her back to reality and she straightened, looking once more at the parchments. With a trembling hand she dipped the tip of the feather into a little glass of ink and started to write.
How many priests do we have on this island, Caitlin wondered as she adressed her first later to Fedaykin, and why do some people still have the misconcept that one can kill something with a blade though it is already dead?
****
Caitlin saß am Tisch der Bibliothek in der Grauen Zuflucht. Mit einer Feder in der Hand starrte sie auf die unbeschriebenen Pergamente.
Ihr Gesicht war blasser als sonst auch schon und ihre Hand zitterte leicht während sie darüber über die Worte nachdachte, die sie zu Papier bringen wollte; jedoch war sie nicht in der Lage sich zu konzentrieren.
Sie hörte die Leute sagen, dass Trolls Bane am brennen war. Und nicht nur Trolls Bane, sondern auch die Bäume. Caitlin fühlte es. Es schmerzte.
Wieviele Leute sind heute gestorben und verwundet worden? Wieviele musste sie behandeln... und warum war sie nicht in der Lage mehr zu tun als das?
Sie erinnerte sich and den Moment als sie zu der Brücke ging, welche zur Grauen Rose führte. Caitlin war niedergekniet und betete zu Ushara, der großen Mutter. Sie betete um Hilfe und Unterstützung gegen die untoten Kreaturen und ihr Gebet wurde erhört. Pflanzen wuchsen über die Brücke; ein Barriere die nichts vorbeilassen würde, dass keine Seele hatte.
Anstatt anzufangen zu schreiben, legte Caitlin ihren Kopf schwer auf den hölzernen Tisch, abgelenkt und gepeinigt von ihren Gedanken und Sorgen.
Sie dachte über Ariges nach.
Caitlin hatte ihn schon vorher getroffen und sie hielt ihn für einen jungen, wissbegierigen Mann, welcher durch seinen Wunsch nach Unsterblichkeit missgleitet war. Sie warnte ihn und sagte ihm, er solle sich nicht zu sehr mit dieser Sache beschäftigen – es wäre zu gefährlich. Aber er ignorierte ihre Worte und nun war es zu spät. Nun war sein Erscheinungsbild das eines Lichs und wie es scheinte hatte er sich das erfüllt wovon er geträumt hat.
Das kann nicht wahr sein, dachte Caitlin, hörte er denn nicht auf sein Herz? Hatte er so viel Angst vor dem 'Tod', dass er einen Zustand bevorzugte der noch viel schlimmer war als 'tot zu sein'? Im Endeffekt hat er sich den Zugang zum Paradies selbst verweigert.
Und war es nicht Ariges selbst, welcher ihr noch einen Tag zuvor Setzlinge für Bäume überreicht hat?
Caitlins Gedanken schweiften zu dem Lied, welches sie einst am Lagerfeuer sang. Es war ein Lied über einen Mann der behauptete das wahre Macht nur jenem gehören könne, der nicht von Liebe, Hass oder Schmerzen berührt wird. Jedoch war dies nur eine Halbwahrheit. Natürlich war es einfach ein Leben ohne Gefühle zu leben, aber was für ein Leben war das denn?
Egal ob Liebe, Traurigkeit, Wut oder Glück. Gefühle sind ein Teil des sterblichen Daseins; Gefühle sind es die uns wahre Stärke geben, auch wenn sie uns manchmal missleiten.
Und waren es nicht eben diese Gefühle die unseren Handlungen und Taten einen Sinn gaben?
Sie würde ihn nicht so einfach aufgeben. Weder Ariges, noch Dravish.
Ja, - beide hatten sich schuldig gemacht in dem sie Leid und Traurer über Unschuldige brachten und beide kümmerte dies wohl nicht; aber dennoch glaubte Caitlin an das Gute in ihnen.
So war sie nun mal.
Es gab so viel Dunkelheit, Zorn und Tod auf dieser Insel und Caitlin war es, die versuchte das Gleichgewicht zu halten. Öfter als nur einmal schwankte sie aus genau diesem Grund in das andere Extrem, wenn auch nicht mal wirklich absichtlich.
Das Pendel schwingt immer in beide Richtungen.
Der Schmerz in Caitlins Arm rief sie zurück in die Realität und sie richtete sich wieder auf während ihr Blick zurück zu den Pergamenten wanderte. Mit zitternder Hand tunkte sie die Federspitze in ein Glass Tinte und begann zu schreiben.
Wieviele Priester gab es auf dieser Insel, fragte sich Caitlin als sie ihren ersten Brief an Fedaykin addressierte, und warum hatten manche Leute immer noch diese falsche Vorstellung das man mit einer Klinge etwas töten konnte was schon längst tot war?
Berengar was standing on the roof of the Grey Rose castle looking at the smoke arising over Trollsbane. The wind made his hair dancing to its rhythm but apart from that he wasn’t moving at all, he just kept staring south. “Malachin…” He started whispering. Suddenly a sad smile appeared on his face. When was the last time he had prayed? He couldn’t even remember. Because of several incidents in his life he had come to the conclusion that the Gods didn’t care much… at least not for him. He wasn’t sad or angry about it though. He has always thought that a man can make his own fate and that people speak out beggings and prayers too carelessly. In addition to that Malachin has more important things to do than look after an old man. He wouldn’t want that anyway. He hated being in one’s debt, even in the debt of a God. But why was he praying then? Had he become one of those foolish cowards he used to shake his head at? Did he fear certain death? “All death is certain”, he whispered to himself. No, he didn’t fear death… although… “It’s different…” he didn’t fear his own death, not much at least. The night before this battle came to his mind again. When he went to Vanima… “No”, he mumbed, “she wasn’t serious… was she?” He closed his eyes and tried to shake off the thought along with all emotions. It was the first time he didn’t succeed. “Malachin…” ,he started again. “All my life I have lived a life by the sword. By honor…”, he stopped. “I think so at least… “ He took a deep breath: “Just… give me the strengh not to dispair.” He looked south one last time then turned and headed downstairs.
-
Caitlin Fergus
- Posts: 316
- Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:30 am
Caitlin kissed the forehead of her son gently who peacefully slumbered in his mothers arms. „I love you, Caden“, she whispered into his ear. „Everything will be well, I promise you. I will ensure you a safe town to grow up. Everything will be okay... and your sister will be fine too.“
She held back her tears.
Caitlin laid her son gently back into his crib before she left the castle through the gate. The moon stood at the cenith and the druidess leaned against the cold wall of the Gray Haven.
How long would they have to fight, she wondered, when would all this be over..
Leaning her head against the stone and closing her eyes she softly sang into the midnights wind...
She came to me one morning
One lonely sunday morning
Her long hair flowing
In the midwinter wind
I know not how she found me
For in darkness I was walking
And destruction lay around me
From a fight I could not win
She asked me name my foe then
I said the need within some men
To fight and kill their brothers
Without thought of love or god
And I begged her give me horses
To trample down my enemies
So eager was my passion
To devour this waste of life
But she wouldn’t think of battle that
Reduces men to animals
So easy to begin
And yet impossible to end
Hearing a crow from an appletree near by, Caitlin looked up to her feathered friend.
...
She held back her tears.
Caitlin laid her son gently back into his crib before she left the castle through the gate. The moon stood at the cenith and the druidess leaned against the cold wall of the Gray Haven.
How long would they have to fight, she wondered, when would all this be over..
Leaning her head against the stone and closing her eyes she softly sang into the midnights wind...
She came to me one morning
One lonely sunday morning
Her long hair flowing
In the midwinter wind
I know not how she found me
For in darkness I was walking
And destruction lay around me
From a fight I could not win
She asked me name my foe then
I said the need within some men
To fight and kill their brothers
Without thought of love or god
And I begged her give me horses
To trample down my enemies
So eager was my passion
To devour this waste of life
But she wouldn’t think of battle that
Reduces men to animals
So easy to begin
And yet impossible to end
Hearing a crow from an appletree near by, Caitlin looked up to her feathered friend.
...
Dei leans against the wall covered in shadows once more. He's done this every night, and has been deprived of sleep every night.
"And here we are again. In the Shadows and watching over everyone. Atleast now i know why. Mairead, Pendar, Everyone...I care, but i just act like i don't. Even Alyssa, who thinks i hate her. and Jacob, that boy has an ego the size of a demon. I do miss that flute though. It was a nice break in the mundane silence and ocasional snore of the other guards sleeping. Oh great, a friend to play with."
Dei looks at an aproaching Skeleton, it doesn't have flames on his body, but seems to be a normal skeleton, he just jumps and spin kicks his head from his spine and the skeleton colapses into a pile of bones. He returns to his spot in the shadows. and begins to sing a song, that people have heard him hum before.
In these grassy plains and windy meadows,
I find my peace with every living creature,
The morning of the Widows,
Means little to me, my hopes and stature.
Those rivers and lakes glisten with the sun,
Move with the gentle breeze,
And the yawns of a mans son,
Can cast away all as if it was a sneeze.
I may be a Serinjah, a Plainsman,
But that makes me feel the wind and the skies,
As i wish for my life to be complete and make me a man,
So i can make my life on my terms, loving your eyes.
Even though i am a Serinjah and in your eyes a nut case;
I feel alone when i am not in your embrace.
Dei looks around with a sigh towards the town, he had gone into town earlier. He saw that the shop had been burnt and ravaged, but all the merchants still lived. His Academy had been raided also, all his hard work gone, after the war he would have to rebuild, maybe his students would help him.
His love for gisella was on the top of his mind. He could not think of another woman he would ever want to marry if she said no.
"Now was not a time to ask either, being at war she would think I was desprate, nor do I have the copper for the ring. Maybe she doesn't need a ring untill the wedding though. But it would be incredibly dangerous for her to be married to an Assassin, why must i love her so much, I put her into so much danger, and yet, if i told her to go, my heart could not bear it. If she leaves me it will make it easier on me, but as it is..I love her and she loves me, nothing can change that. So lets concentrate back on the war at hand Dei and keep your bloody mind on whats important at the time, which is keeping Mairead and Gisella safe."
"And here we are again. In the Shadows and watching over everyone. Atleast now i know why. Mairead, Pendar, Everyone...I care, but i just act like i don't. Even Alyssa, who thinks i hate her. and Jacob, that boy has an ego the size of a demon. I do miss that flute though. It was a nice break in the mundane silence and ocasional snore of the other guards sleeping. Oh great, a friend to play with."
Dei looks at an aproaching Skeleton, it doesn't have flames on his body, but seems to be a normal skeleton, he just jumps and spin kicks his head from his spine and the skeleton colapses into a pile of bones. He returns to his spot in the shadows. and begins to sing a song, that people have heard him hum before.
In these grassy plains and windy meadows,
I find my peace with every living creature,
The morning of the Widows,
Means little to me, my hopes and stature.
Those rivers and lakes glisten with the sun,
Move with the gentle breeze,
And the yawns of a mans son,
Can cast away all as if it was a sneeze.
I may be a Serinjah, a Plainsman,
But that makes me feel the wind and the skies,
As i wish for my life to be complete and make me a man,
So i can make my life on my terms, loving your eyes.
Even though i am a Serinjah and in your eyes a nut case;
I feel alone when i am not in your embrace.
Dei looks around with a sigh towards the town, he had gone into town earlier. He saw that the shop had been burnt and ravaged, but all the merchants still lived. His Academy had been raided also, all his hard work gone, after the war he would have to rebuild, maybe his students would help him.
His love for gisella was on the top of his mind. He could not think of another woman he would ever want to marry if she said no.
"Now was not a time to ask either, being at war she would think I was desprate, nor do I have the copper for the ring. Maybe she doesn't need a ring untill the wedding though. But it would be incredibly dangerous for her to be married to an Assassin, why must i love her so much, I put her into so much danger, and yet, if i told her to go, my heart could not bear it. If she leaves me it will make it easier on me, but as it is..I love her and she loves me, nothing can change that. So lets concentrate back on the war at hand Dei and keep your bloody mind on whats important at the time, which is keeping Mairead and Gisella safe."
Dei lays on the ground of the second floor of the grey rose castle. on the spot where he will get married. To his side, lays Gisella, drawn close to him, with his cloak covering both of them. He watches the ceiling with his flush blue eyes as thoughts race through his mind. He never thought he could feel so many emotions ever again. Love, Care, Happyness, Joy...these feelings Dei thought had left him long ago. He thought Malice and Hate was all the occupied his brain.
He looks to the top of Gisellas head, snuged to his side, a small smile shows on his face.
Oh..how these feelings feel...She has waken them up..and it feels so different...I care now..I love..I even feel happy. Gisella, if you truely knew how much i loved you...I think my heart would explode with joy before i could even tell you. Tommorow...i won't be alone anymore..And it feels...it feels so good. I will actually have someone to come home to. Home, what a weird thing to come from my brain...Not since i left the Mainland...have i ever considered anything home. But now...Anywhere i am with gisella..I could call home in less than a heartbeat..no matter the circumstances..i would throw it all away..everything. Oh..Mairead..only now...have i realised how much i truely care...If only you were my daughter instead of Athians...No...i can not think of it. She would not like me, No one does except Gisella. She would not want to be my daughter..Nothing i could do would make her even think of it. Mairead...the only person other than gisella i have ever truely loved..I'm sorry it has taken me so long to realise. If you asked...or made a mere move to if you wanted to live with me..I would take you in without missing a beat. My heart would be filled with so much joy. Oh...Is it the happyness that makes my heart feel so weird? Perhaps it is pushing away all the Malice and Hate. And Filling my heart with happyness and love instead. But they are not gone..I still feel them. They may be such a part of me that they will never leave me.
He reaches down and rubs the burns and scars on his stomach thinking
Oh how foolish i was. How could i have been so foolish? The two people i love...it took me so long to tell them...But why must my brain work so? I hate myself so for not telling them sooner.
He brushes through gisella's hair lightly and absentmindly, still watching the ceiling.
She can sleep...but i can not..these thoughts..they race through my mind faster than i can think. I am Plauged by the thoughts. But even so, why am i so happy to think of a future, that i will have Gisella as a wife, and maybe mairead as a daughter. Oh my twisted maze of a mind, Maybe i am coming to the end of the maze to my true feelings let out. I have locked them away for so long, I do not remember how they feel. The thoughts that plauge my mind, they are keys to the door, at the end of the maze. I must figure them out one by one, and find my way out of the walls i have built around myself. Oh...Gisella..Mairead..
He stares at the ceiling throughout the night, The thoguhts Plauge his mind, not allowing him to sleep. Even with this, a smile, as broad as his face is wide, rests upon his tired face, but sleep was not what he wanted to do, All he wanted to do was keep thinking. To keep thinking about both of them.
He looks to the top of Gisellas head, snuged to his side, a small smile shows on his face.
Oh..how these feelings feel...She has waken them up..and it feels so different...I care now..I love..I even feel happy. Gisella, if you truely knew how much i loved you...I think my heart would explode with joy before i could even tell you. Tommorow...i won't be alone anymore..And it feels...it feels so good. I will actually have someone to come home to. Home, what a weird thing to come from my brain...Not since i left the Mainland...have i ever considered anything home. But now...Anywhere i am with gisella..I could call home in less than a heartbeat..no matter the circumstances..i would throw it all away..everything. Oh..Mairead..only now...have i realised how much i truely care...If only you were my daughter instead of Athians...No...i can not think of it. She would not like me, No one does except Gisella. She would not want to be my daughter..Nothing i could do would make her even think of it. Mairead...the only person other than gisella i have ever truely loved..I'm sorry it has taken me so long to realise. If you asked...or made a mere move to if you wanted to live with me..I would take you in without missing a beat. My heart would be filled with so much joy. Oh...Is it the happyness that makes my heart feel so weird? Perhaps it is pushing away all the Malice and Hate. And Filling my heart with happyness and love instead. But they are not gone..I still feel them. They may be such a part of me that they will never leave me.
He reaches down and rubs the burns and scars on his stomach thinking
Oh how foolish i was. How could i have been so foolish? The two people i love...it took me so long to tell them...But why must my brain work so? I hate myself so for not telling them sooner.
He brushes through gisella's hair lightly and absentmindly, still watching the ceiling.
She can sleep...but i can not..these thoughts..they race through my mind faster than i can think. I am Plauged by the thoughts. But even so, why am i so happy to think of a future, that i will have Gisella as a wife, and maybe mairead as a daughter. Oh my twisted maze of a mind, Maybe i am coming to the end of the maze to my true feelings let out. I have locked them away for so long, I do not remember how they feel. The thoughts that plauge my mind, they are keys to the door, at the end of the maze. I must figure them out one by one, and find my way out of the walls i have built around myself. Oh...Gisella..Mairead..
He stares at the ceiling throughout the night, The thoguhts Plauge his mind, not allowing him to sleep. Even with this, a smile, as broad as his face is wide, rests upon his tired face, but sleep was not what he wanted to do, All he wanted to do was keep thinking. To keep thinking about both of them.