Looking for home

Moirear Sian · Post by **Moirear Sian** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:29 pm

Alavan pauses under the arch of the entrance, his face suddenly clearing of the previous spurt of rage and mixing the fading grimace with confusion. Glaring back at Moathia helplessly, then letting his eyes wander to the man on the floor, his chapped lips move but do not produce anything coherent, and he exits with a disgruntled "Hmph".

Still in the motion of stepping outside, his countenance said more than one thousand spoken words. 'Me and showing condolences? Just like negotiations, neither is my strength,' he thinks to himself grimly, leaving the place.

Little did any of the present people, himself included, know that a few other roughnecks and him had escaped some "scorpions" a while back, accidentally luring them into the precipices of Varshikar—all of which may have caused this tragedy...

Caitlin Fergus · Post by **Caitlin Fergus** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:26 pm

Caitlin searches for a calm place and carefully wraps the child out of the cloak...
Finally she can't hold back her tears anymore...
'You look like you would sleep... you just have to wake up', she whispers softly. 'Your mom and your dad are waiting for you... you shouldn't let them wait too long'.
Caitlin isn't really aware of what she is saying... but she need to do it, because there wouldn't be another way to handle with the pain she feels.

Cleaning the small body in front of her she suddenly looks up...
Her look gazes into the direction of the north forest as something comes to her mind...

Aristeaus · Post by **Aristeaus** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:28 am

Aristeaus runs his hand down his face, the tears shed mix with his dust covered complexion, leaving a dark smear down his cheeks. He looks to Moathia with grave eyes, the words spoken by the priestess breaking through his own pity. Without a word he turns to his wife and takes her hand in his...

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Mon May 02, 2005 4:31 am

In a dreary state of half-consciousness Quinasa's eyes fluttered open. Her right leg was throbbing, a good sign as she had not been able to feel it before.
Before she passed out.
Before her sister found her.
Before the baby.
In the half a moment it took for her to snap awake Quin had already forgot the rest of her pain. She grinned. It was a smile of pure joy. This was a day they'd been waiting for for so long! Her grin melted into a frown of confusion as she looked from Aristeaus to Moathia. She cast her eyes about the room.
No cradle.
No handbasket.
She winced as she sat up and she opened her mouth to speak. Her throat was dry and her voice broke.
"Where's my baby?"

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Tue May 03, 2005 5:53 pm

In a frantic panic she insists on screaming "WHERE is my BABY!?"

Moathia · Post by **Moathia** » Tue May 03, 2005 6:02 pm

Moathia looks over to Aristeaus, and then back to Quinasa sadly.

"Caitlin has your baby, she is taking him to be cleaned. I'm sorry Quinasa, your wounds, and the length of time you were injured weakened the baby, and it.... It did not survive childbirth Quinasa, I'm sorry."

Athian · Post by **Athian** » Tue May 03, 2005 6:37 pm

Athian had sent his brother a letter via his usual method. he'd heard about all the happenings over the past days and cursed himself for not having been there, thugh he knew there wasn't much he could have done. Somehow still he'd felt that it had been partly his fault. For all his chidding and teasing he'd only wished his brother and Quin the best with there new family. but as it seems chances had been against them.
It had taken days to get the full detials on what had transpired while he'd been busy with his works. between Alexandra and Aly to watch over Adrian he'd only stopped by briefly to make sure everything was fine before heading out. but in his absence something terrible had happened, and it seemed very few people were willing to speak to him on it. Finally he'd heard from Irania exactly what had happened. and though he kept a striaght face as he usually did. He felt something in him twinge. He wasn't even capable of imagining what it woiuld have been like were he to lose his son in any way, let alone having lost him before ever really having a chance to know him.
so he waited wine in hand, drinking as he rarely did during this season in hopes that his brother still had the strenght to make his way to find him. He wanted to give the man some time to vent he emotions, something most warriors were trained to avoid in the presence of loved ones. Athian tipped back the glass and finshed the wine. wiping his lip breifly.
"Goddess please show kindness to the spirit lost these days prior." He said quietly "It must be painful to feel so powerless. so much so that you feel you've failed even your family..."

Aristeaus · Post by **Aristeaus** » Tue May 03, 2005 7:25 pm

Hours passed, maybe days. The man was unsure.. Sitting by the bedside of the white haired elf maiden, her hand clenched in his the man watched on.

The priestess Moathia and the lady Caitlin of the druids took it in turns to watch upon the pair. Seeing to Quinasa's wounds, and watching the man who sat at her side.
Since the day of its happening Aristeaus had neither slept nor eaten, only leaving his wifes side when there was no choice. A single word had yet to be spoken from the once proud man..

Whereas on the outside there was silence, within the mans mind was turmoil.

I cant lose her,,not her as well..
What can i say..
What can i tell her if she awakens..
What can i tell her WHEN she awakens..

....................................................

'Where's my baby'

The lady looks about franticly

'Where is my baby!!'

The priestess speaks the words which the man had heard and knew, but which still stabbed deeper than the sharpest of blades.
Chocking back a sob the man leans down and holds the frail elfess to him, engulfing her in his arm with the thought of to never let go....

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Tue May 03, 2005 8:49 pm

Quinasa looks at her husband's tearstained face as he holds her, and Moathia's words echo in her ears. Silent tears fall down her face as the realization of what happened registers in her mind. Her outward countenance calms abit but she could feel the bile in her stomach start to rise, she could feel a part of her soul disappear.

She whispered to her husband, "where do we go from here?" She felt so lost.

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Tue May 03, 2005 10:26 pm

With the help of Moathia and Aristeaus Quinasa ended up at the inn. She could no longer stand being in that room... a room so full of sadness and death. Her death, it seemed, and yet not so. In her room at the Seahorse Quinasa spoke to her sister who promised her flowers. Moathia was staying right across the hall.

After much soothing, reassuring and weeping Quinasa and Aristeaus fell asleep, not knowing whether dreams would bring them much needed release or undesired pain.

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Wed May 04, 2005 7:15 am

Quinasa awoke from her troubled rest to find her sister standing in the doorway. She rubbed her eyes and sat up weakly, pulling the blankets to cover her husband's shoulders as he slept on.

"Quinnie, some orcs want to see you." Irania stated.
"Orcs?" Quin replied groggily.
"Can we come in?"
Quinasa nodded and two orcs and a man followed Irania into the room.
"Shh... please be quiet, my husband needs his rest..."
Her head was pounding. The orc before her was being rude and demanding that the orcs ruled the northern lands, insulting even. I don't need this, she thought to herself and she started to cry. Not right now! The orc made threats and promises on her life and those of her sister and husband, demands and ugly words about bringing war. Quin pointed tiredly to the door.
"Get out, all of you!" After much fuss the party left, leaving Quin to look at Aristeaus as he got much needed sleep.
"Are you mad at me Quinnie, for pretending to be you?"
"Again? No, Irania, I don't have it in me to be mad. I just lost... I don't want to loose my husband too."
"You won't. I'll protect ya!"
Quinasa curled up under the covers and closed her eyes. "Thank you for coming to see me."
"I love you Quinnie, you get some rest now. Get better soon!"
Before Irania was out the door Quinasa fell back into troubled sleep.

Irania · Post by **Irania** » Wed May 04, 2005 7:21 am

As Irania settled down into the grass and began working on her map, her thoughts began to wander.

"What orcs are going to back that twit up anyway?" She snickers and shades in an area skillfully. "It's not like I started a war or anything...." Irania blows on the charcoal, her thoughts returning to the map before her.

Ziel Oden · Post by **Ziel Oden** » Wed May 04, 2005 3:01 pm

The small wooden raft hits the dock, the motionless figure named Ziel woke up with a sudden jerk. Climbing off the raft and slowly walking to Trollsbane. He was happy indeed, from his victory over his racist homeland. His thoughts were all of the pleasant kind, all unaware of what was going on behind the scenes

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Mon May 09, 2005 5:50 pm

After some days Quinasa was able to get the motivation to get out of bed but her weak muscles stopped her from walking further than the table. Most of her time she spent weeping quietly in her bed, overwhelmed by self-pity and self-loathing. Her visitors were few and far between, but it was how she wanted it. The more people came in the more they smiled and the more they smiled the more she wanted to die. Why me? she would think to herself before dissolving into tears again.

Today was much the same. Using all her strength she got out of bed and ambled over to the table. Her bandaged leg was healing well, but she did not feel thankful. She pulled herself back into bed and lay in the messed up blankets feeling tortured and lonely.

Lord Arcia · Post by **Lord Arcia** » Mon May 09, 2005 7:12 pm

Arcia overhears talk of Quinasa's injury and the loss of her unborn child and begins the long walk to Troll's Bane. He walks into the Inn with a smile of encouragement and a vase filled with his favorite flower, the Night Angel's Blossom. He starts to walk up the stairs and can hear his "mother" stiring in her trouble sleep. He opens the door to her room hoping to see a smiling face but only finds a sleeping elf in a very unkept bed. Arcia begins to walk slowly as to not wake one of the few people who actually ever cared for him. He kisses her tenderly on the forehead and combs her messy hair with his hand and places the vase on the bedside table and walks out, silently as he entered. Tears welling in his eyes as he closes the door silently and walks down the stairs to seek solitude.

Caitlin Fergus · Post by **Caitlin Fergus** » Tue May 10, 2005 4:27 am

Caitlin who has cleaned and embalm the dead baby, which now is resting in the ceremony hall of the druid house, was on her way to the seahorse.

She stood some minutes before the door of their room and thought. What should she say? What should she do?
No clear answer came to her mind and she wasn't able to just knock.
She remembered her talk with Athian... that she should take some rest. But she couldn't rest, even if she wanted to do so. There was too much on her mind.
"Who heals the healer...", she repeated Athians words quietly while finally knocking at the door. Not waiting for an answer she opened the door quietly and slowly entered the room.

"Quinasa... I think it's time to get you back on your feet... I will help you."

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Tue May 10, 2005 9:17 pm

In the days that followed, Quinasa made a little progress. Caitlin was attentive but it was obvious that she was shaken by all of the passing events. They didn't speak much, only what they had to. The elfess walked a little each day, around the room and around the inn but it always left her feeling run down. At the end of one day in particular Quin looked to Caitlin who was helping her back into bed. "We need to hold the burial," she said. "I think I'm ready."

Caitlin Fergus · Post by **Caitlin Fergus** » Tue May 10, 2005 9:36 pm

Caitlin nodded, though she had her doubts. But she respected Quinasas wish.
"Whenever you want..."

Slowly she covered Quinasa with the blanket and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Wed May 11, 2005 5:45 pm

Quinasa awoke with the same dull ache in her heart that was always there, as if keeping her company in the lonely hours in what she came to see as her cell. Her cage, her punishment for the disappointment she brought to the world. The four walls seemed to choke her more each day and the trips outside were usually short and disturbed by people she didn't want to see.

She sat up and looked around, waiting for Caitlin. Funny, she thought to herself. She counted the bricks in the wall beside her, how many were along the ceiling and how many rows to the floor. She fell asleep sitting up and woke again feeling half dead.

Caitlin came in looking wary. She said she had walked from the House of Druids but it looked to the elfess as though there was more she wasn't seeing. She watched the young woman who walked around the room moving chairs out of the way and checking medical supplies, and despite herself she had to ask... "Are you sure you're alright?"

Caitlin seemed reserved as they went about her stretches and as usual Quinasa gritted her teeth against the pain as her muscles screamed for pause. In a way she welcomed the pain, it was a welcome and more tolerable than the lonelyness that choked her heart day after day. When they were done Caitlin helped her back into bed and Quinasa felt her thigh muscles spasm. With the heavy silence it was clear that both women were fighting inner demons and neither wished to talk about them.
"Tonight, Caitlin. My husband and I are ready tonight." She looked at the bricks in the wall as she spoke. "We've put it off for far too long now, it's time."

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Wed May 11, 2005 11:39 pm

As the day was drawing to a close and the sun was setting in the sky, Aristeaus called for Caitlin to come to the inn with the message that tonight was the night. Quinasa combed her hair and changed into a new robe as she and Aristeaus waitied for the medico to arrive. When there was a knock at the door Quinasa stood and gripped the table, attempting to put her emotions in check. "It's open," she said. Caitlin opened the door and stood in the doorway holding a small white bundle. Too small. The elfess almost lost it. In the garden outside the inn is where they decided upon, beneath a gravestone of sunflowers.

They went outside and Quinasa sat in the grass, motioning for Caitlin to hand her the child. He was cold and weighed almost nothing in her arms. As Aristeaus dig a small grave Quin hugged the child to her stomach protectively, holding him for the first time since he was born... and for the last. She didn't quite understand the full range of emotions that were battling eachother inside of her soul and the fear of what she was doing made her weep. She whispered words of sorrow and apology and promises of eternal love. When her husband was finished he handed the shovel to Pendar and Caitlin who stood silently behind them, watching the ground. He sat beside her, saying a farewell to the child, committing him to the safety of the Gods. Quinasa hesitantly leaned forward and set the child gently inside its grave. Aristeaus removed his pendant and placed it upon the child's chest, a symbol of his love forever. Quinasa took her long white hair in a firm grip and with the axe that her sister had given her days before made a jagged chop and three feet of hair fell into her lap. She tied it with a ribbon before dropping it in the hole and standing with her husband. Caitlin and Pendar left them to bury their child together alone. As Arist carefully filled the grave Quinasa dropped to her knees overcome with grief. When the task was done her husband did the same and in the darkness left by the disappearance of the sun and the light of their lives they both lay in the grass, clinging to eachother and sobbing until sleep took them in a welcomed embrace.

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Mon May 30, 2005 3:41 pm

After all that had happened Quinasa was beginning to get well again, in body if not in spirit. She stood in her window every day looking out into the garden at a small patch of dirt marked with sunflowers. Her husband spent as much time with her as he could spare but it did not fill all her waking hours. Irania was always in and out bringing flowers and gifts. Quin was growing bored with her little room. There was only so long an elf could stay confinded indoors and the effect it was having on her was deep. Her bruises were healed and her more major wounds mending well, she was eating more and sleeping less. But the room around her crushed her spirit as if beating her down, laughing at her helplessness.

She ran her fingers through her short white hair, she was amazed at how it had been weeks but she still gripped for more, as if she forgot she had cut it. She looked out at the grave now, pulling some leaves off the hedge outside her window and throwing them into the breeze. If only things hadn't gone so wrong. She absently rubbed her stomach as she turned and went back to her bed. Aristeaus would be by soon to bring her dinner and to be with her. He was melancholy and she hated it. His bright sparkling eyes were clouded over with worry and sorrow and it broke her heart to see him such.

"I want to go home," Quinasa said to the empty room.

Caitlin Fergus · Post by **Caitlin Fergus** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 5:43 pm

Caitlin knocks with her druid staff gently at the door. "Quinasa?", she says.
Slowly she opens the door and smiles into the room. "Sorry for disturbance... I have to tell you something."

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:11 pm

Quinasa lay in bed after Caitlin left her, just thinking. She was planning on farming today to earn some gold but now she really didn't care. She just lay there confused and not knowing what to think. After a while she got up and headed to the town wall. She ripped a parchment off the wall and went back to the inn to burn it before going to sit in the garden beside the sunflowers.

Aristeaus · Post by **Aristeaus** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 7:19 pm

Aristeaus walks within the inn, and silently sits beside the lady. A look of concern upon his face. Reaching out slowly he passes her a single blossom.

' We need to speak my love '.

Quinasa · Post by **Quinasa** » Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:15 pm

Quinasa walked the distance from the Inn to the Farmer's Union and back with a flower in her hand. The talk she had with her husband inspired hope of happiness once again in her soul that for so long seemed sunken in despair. What good tidings! she thought as she trudged back to the farming land. She beemed with happiness as she planted her cabbage seeds as if all the worries of the world were about to disappear.

****A few days later****

After a strange day in the town of TrollsBane Quinasa walked quickly from the shop back to the Farmer's Union where she felt a little more safe. All the unearthly flames that sprouted from the streets in town made her skin crawl and she removed herself as fast as she could with the new bag Irania had gotten for her.

She sat and let her cabbage seeds dry out and set a fire in a protected area far from the trees. The natural sounds of the land around her were interrupted by footfalls of a human. Quin listened intently, they sounded familiar. She picked up her cabbage seeds and tucked them in her leather bag as Pendar strode past the hedges.

"Pendar," the elfess smiled.
He bowed deeply, looking dressed for battle and tired. He greeted her kindly.
The two sat by the dying fire and as it turned to ash and Quinasa pulled her cloak tighter about herself. The man made sure of her safety, made vows of friendship, and checked again to make sure she didn't need for anything. Quinasa yawned, ready for bed as she waved him farewell and found a safe place in the trees to sleep.

After a few hours she could get no more rest and so she made her way to town to read the walls. When she saw a post on the boards concerning Varshikar she paused to read it. Her jaw dropped. In stunned silence she stood there, re-reading. She was confused and didn't know what to feel. She went to the inn to get out of the streets before someone saw her like that and she fell asleep in a cold bed with sad dreams and harsh realization creep inside her soul once again.

There was a long way to go until she would ever make it home.