you didn't follow the list of Dax!
you mean there wasn't much achohol, you have never
taken any baths, you used obsence words and various
profanities to describe her and such? i think you may have
followed some rules, at least the name one
You have time, Sir Crystal Star. Time will close your wounds and help you find your path. And helps you in reaching your goals, if they are properly set and chosen with wisdom.
I know that much of these things are founded on unlogical feelings and fired by the needs of uncontrolled minds, but patience is a virtue some people never seem to learn.
Whatever you want to do, do not try to enforce anything, be patient.