Message on the shop wall - Sir crystal: Wife wanted, apply w

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:11 am

astral if you see me i will not run
#me looks at the notes with a menecing smile.

" I Will let you slay me so you can feel the warm spary of blood upon your garments."
"And so i can feel what its like to visit so many long gone..then to be back.."

mwhahahaha

Astral · Post by **Astral** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:25 am

That is sure intelligent, you are definately mentally challenged. I think that the museum building should be converted into a mental hospital, and Andrew should be the first patient.

#me thinks of how funny it would be..

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:31 am

What are you two talking about??? Stop Scribbling stuff on my shop wall paper!

This is for my new wife, not genral chit-chat

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:34 am

#me pulls out a crudly crafted dagger and holds it to his wrist.
#me slices a small gash and puts it upon sir crystal stars notes upon the wall..

"See if any wife reads this now..mwhahaha"
#me walks away laughing

Astral · Post by **Astral** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:38 am

Well, he is an idiot for sure. Soon, you will find it hard to write on this note with a sword stuck through your head.

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:41 am

Places a clean sheet on the wall

"Sir crystal star wishes to find love. a woman that can give child. Please, help my blood line"

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:42 am

#me laughs and stains the new sheet with a fresh coat of blood..

hungry anyone?"

Astral · Post by **Astral** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:47 am

You seem hungry for an ice bolt or two andrew.

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 12:48 am

the messages is out and no more sheet need , be added.

Caranthir the great · Post by **Caranthir the great** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:28 am

hmm..

@ Scs : well , let me give you an advice from a dwarf to a halfling..
the world of illarion is full of young ladies , many of em quite attractive , too :biggrin:
so postings like these make you sound desperate for a WIFE not giving a rats@ss about would the lady be just the rigth one for YOU , just give a child and thats it?
howbout love , passion and the other stuff?
surely you have a whole life ahead to get a wife thats is rigth for you and make sure that you are the rigth man for her.
just calm down , and take a deep breath.
think about it.

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:56 am

hahahhaa..caranthir is right you fool..desperiate halfling..

if you find no wife, then you can be the wife..

ill bring you home sweet and succulent halfling heads and elf ears for you to cook..then when you finish ill cook you up a dish of tongues and brains..one which will be of your own.."

mwhahaha

Clesk · Post by **Clesk** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:57 am

Since Astral and Andrew are posting so much perhaps they are interesting in you Crystal Star... Give them a wink next time you see them and see what happens. I'm pretty sure they'll kill you or fall in love with you. Keep your guard up for either.
Hahaha

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 2:05 am

ooc: clesk if u knew anything..the servers down..and yes id fall in love with him for 5 reason..

*end ooc*

1. his liver..mmm smothered in brown gravy
2. his heart, sautaed in orc's blood.
3. his tongue..boiled and peeled apart with cabbage.
4. his intestines. cooked richly brown and added with bee's honey
5. his brain..chilled with spiders poison inserted to make it bitter and tingy..

must i say more?

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 2:32 am

(occ: good one andrew)

Sorry to say but i'm only after a woman. I can't see a male giving chiled

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 2:34 am

#me smiles and looks at his long hollow needle..

artifical imsemination..mwhahahahaha

#me walks off with his needle stuck in his arm

sir ganon · Post by **sir ganon** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:27 pm

andrew:OK andrew you freak please do me just two favors first,tell me your public number so i may kill you on sight second please meet me in town so i can kill you (ooc as soon as server back up)

sir crystal star:ok i have tryed to be your friend and this is all i can say for you,you are not going to find a woman only asking for childern , and offering money and such , and for protection (if any) your very weak so get back into shape and try to expect to work a little harder (in the world of romance) to find you a girl , you gotta be nice and kind and loving , which personally i dont think you can do but miracles do happen so good luck

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:42 pm

#me laughs at sir ganon....hmmm public number...

i am sorry but i have no number..only a small bloody dagger that has the numbers 666 on them...

mayhaps thats what ye want?

#me laughs and walks away holding his dagger

sir ganon · Post by **sir ganon** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 1:52 pm

uummm no not really you nit wit so post it on another board ,you coward of a idiot

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 2:16 pm

#me laughs...

ooc: u know talking about a chars number in game isnt being ooc..

and yes my number is something like 13247..

#me smiles and walks off slowly laughing behind his back

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 9:57 pm

A man with the mind of madness has scribbled a message on the shop wall.

*------------*

“A child, that’s all I asked! If I can’t have I child then no will. I will kill all children until a woman gives me a child. The fate of your children rest in your hands. Find mw a wife and child, or just a child.

You insults and scourge of my quest for child have once again brought the dark cloud of evil over my mind.”

*------------*

The last letter on the wall draws of in a long line to the floor where a burnt stick lays.

Great Milenko · Post by **Great Milenko** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 10:09 pm

#green fog rises and from a riddle box within springs the Great Milenko
#he walks to the shop wall and starts reading the threat
#he pulls a quill out of his bag and write with blood to Sir crystal star

You will kill all children around? So why not cooperate? We help you killing, but we get the corpses or we take em with us to have a real fresh meal. What do you say isnt this in what you wanted?
But be careful not to cheat us, or you'll find yourself in a cooking pot faster then you can say
Nooooooooo!

#laughing he walks away, while the green fog rises again and finally take him away

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sat Jan 05, 2002 10:34 pm

Unable to find a quill, Sir Crystal pulls a needle and cuts his arm for ink. The madness has truly overcome him as he laughs at the pain

“Don’t try to threaten me! You wish me to give you the corps of children I kill. I would think you would be nicer. The only reason I would consider giving you anything would be to keep the streets clean of rotting flesh, but I’m sure Andrew would clear things up if I left bodies around the place”

Using the same needle, sir crystal stitches him self back up.

Dax · Post by **Dax** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 12:32 am

<Cant help but Laugh>

3 rules to getting a lady (unforcefully)

1. You gotta be sexy!
2. You have to make sure she feels sexy too!
3. ALOT of alcohol

Extended Rules..

4. Take a freakin bath atleast once a month
5. Don't use profane and obscene words to describe your relationship with her or how she looks.
6. NEVER EVER disagree
7. This goes for most of you. Say as little as possible
8. Give her gifts "but don't smother her" Women love things, but give her too much she'll think you are trying to buy her.
9. If you can find a woman that can out drink you or uses "I wonder" and "sex" in the same sentance DON'T let her go! She's definately a keeper
10. Never ever ever ever EVER get married to a woman whom you don't even know her name, cause in bed it is a disater waiting to happen

Take this advice from a PRO <grins>

The Sexiest Mercenary in Illarion Still!

Sabrina · Post by **Sabrina** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 12:38 am

She smiled here and there reading the posts as it was a sunny afternoon.

Slowly the smile faded as it came to and end.. Stars post was quite unsettling to her. She read it over and over a sinking feeling going to her gut. This would only piss Dyluck off.. she tore down the message burning it so he would not see and worry, inwardly hoping Star finds a wife quickly.

korn muphin two · Post by **korn muphin two** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 1:00 am

i sure hope that last thing on your list isn't from personal
experience dax

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 1:03 am

The missing notes from the shop wall only hasten Crystal plans.

Astral · Post by **Astral** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 1:48 am

SCS you must be willing to give up some of your time, not rush the whole thing! You cannot put a message on the boards and expect an overnight response!

Sir crystal star · Post by **Sir crystal star** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 2:53 am

Don't worry. i'm not going to rush things

Andrew Horton · Post by **Andrew Horton** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 6:11 am

ahh yes yes..kill the children crystal...we love young tender hearts and livers..mwhahaha do what milenko says..its very benifical

Dax · Post by **Dax** » Sun Jan 06, 2002 5:37 pm

Indeed Korwin all these things are from personal experience <grins>

Luckily I am single!