Hope, Love and other Catastrophes

[Amelia Rotholz]

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Reflections – Part 1

Her eyes try to pierce the darkness around her, aiming for a fictional spot at the ceiling. She felt sweaty, hot and the itching was hard to bear.
It has been a week since she was struck with chicken pox and isolated to her room. Enough time to reflect about the last nine months. Yes, it has been nine months since she arrived here in Illarion, already.

Nine months, filled with hope and uncertainty, joy and disappointment, love and pain. New friends, new goals, new experiences.
She arrived at the harbour of Cadomyr, first. Cadomyr, that jewel of a city in the desert. She had been overwhelmed by it’s beauty and quick she found the profession she longed for and joined the tailor’s guild. And also, it was her very first day here, were she met him. Charming, kind, helpful, and a true gentleman, just like a knight should be. She fell for him, head over heels, during the coming weeks. Bidukan.

Of course, he wasn’t the only encounter that would have deep impact on her life from now on. There was Sir Kraex, an impressive Orc but with the kindness and virtues of a true knight of Cadomyr, and a close friend to Bidukan.

Lady Katharina, Countess of Cadomyr. Amelia would never forget her first encounter. Noble, but friendly and grounded. She became a kind of idol to her and later, if she could dare to say so, also a friend. She admires her a lot and her advice was precious to her.

Inara, a very young elfess and obviously heir of some kind of legend. The stories about her mother seem to follow her everywhere. Nonetheless she is lively, joyful and fun to be with and quickly became a dear friend, maybe her best and Amelia would not want to miss her.

Good, old Eli! Probably the only mage she will ever trust! He always took his time for her, be it just a small talk or a deep discussion, he always cherred her up somehow or helped her to calm again. He is always encouraging and kind. Amelia never knew her grandparents, but if she had a grandpa, she would have wished for someone like him.

And then, there was Aly. Lady Aleytys Lamar. A strong and independent woman, who left quite an impression. Amelia admires her as much as Lady Katharina, although they are completely different. Yet, she’s not sure if Aly would consider her a friend.

Her thoughts circled back to the knight. Did he ask for her? Did she infect him? She missed him so much. But then, sleep reached out for her again.

[Amelia Rotholz]

Reflections – Part 2

During the last two days, the fever took its toll. She could not differ between Peter, taking care of her and her feverish dreams. Again, her mind strolled back to the past.

It was Bidukan who convinced her to come to Galmair. Oh, how happy she had been when he asked her to stay with him, even take a flat together. But things went another way. Aly went missing during an awful magical incident. His worries about Aly seemed to consume him. But she would not want to see.

Luckily, Aly had been found and recued but the same day, Amelia lost his love to her. Amelia had been looking forward to live with him and when she returned from home, she could not wait to see him. That ring, he gave her to her birthday… She could not believe it! Her heart felt like bursting of happiness... just to be shattered in the very next moment, when he told her about Aly.

Anyway, she had decided to stay in Galmair. As a consequence, she was expelled from the tailor’s guild, for not being a citizen of Cadomyr any longer. But she continued and progressed quickly. And she had made precious friends here as well and she enjoyed living here a lot.

Fergro, squire of Bidukan, a lively and cheerful halfling who could always make her laugh. No matter how down she felt. He is always there for her. Cheering her up, comforting her, protecting her. She likes him a lot and sees him as a very close friend, she would never want to miss and she would trust him with her life.

Cynthia, the lovely bard with the golden voice. Always so sweet and kind and also a dear friend by now. Amelia enjoys the time with her a lot especially, when they sing together. Probably, Cynthia had a huge impact on Amelia, developing from the shy little wallflower to a more confident young woman, although she still has a long way to go.

As well as Oxianna, Hand of the Don. He had supported her from the very first day. His advice had always been valuable and precious. Amelia is not sure, what he sees in her, but she wants to see him as a friend. He always encouraged her to develop and by now, she is not only a tailor of Galmair, but also an official translator for old and new common language and will be responsible for entertainment in town in the future.

And not to forget Era, his wife. After their first encounter, Amelia took distance because she scared her somehow. But by now, she would not want to miss her. She often remembers her of her late mother, she misses so much, and spending time together, always brings her back to solid ground.

Then Liel crossed her mind. Liel, mystery in person. When she first met her, the elfess suffered from some kind of restrictive curse, supressing emotions and personality. But Ami tried to look behind the cold mask and found a kind person underneath that was trapped within herself. When Liel fell in coma, she did not leave her side, not just because she felt responsible, but also because she felt like being the only one seeing more in her. Then, all changed and she was so happy that Liel was up and well and free from any curse. But it came with a backdraft. It seemed like Liel had partly the mind of a child without any understanding of her own feelings and emotions, society and its conventions or why people behave or act the way they do.

Amelia decided to stay by her side and help her and soon, Liel became more than a close friend. She felt like a sister to her and since Liel never had a family, she offered her to share the flat with her. She helped her to understand the world around her the best she could, even taught her to read and write and tried some basic math with her. More and more, Liel became family to her. But ever so often, Ami felt unable to cope with the situation. Especially, since there was a deep conflict between Liel and Bidukan, the man she never stopped loving…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Reflections – Part 3

She woke from another feverish dream, although it started to fade periodically.

“Liel?”

No, Liel wasn’t here. She had not been here since the day of the festival. The festival. A smile shortly crosses her face as she looks to Peter, her elder brother, who fell asleep at the brim of her bed. He had come for her because he was worried. During all the preparations, she had forgotten to write him.

He was convinced to take her back home after they were assaulted during his very first day in Galmair. Other than expected, he was not quite fond of her achievements and wanted her to remember her destiny as a farmer and a wife, instead. But they had a deal that bought her time and with the help of her friends, she was able to convince him to stay. Bidukan was brilliant that evening, acting smart and not giving in to any provocation. And Peter was for sure not making it easy.

She chuckles lowly at the memory.

But the biggest part in convincing him took Allesandra, probably. During the last weeks, the always hungry but hard-working girl young woman became a friend to Ami. And it was clear she left an impact on Peter, as well. Never before, she had seen him flirting. But for Allesandra, he even forgot the harvest on the fields.

She grins lightly, then her thoughts circle back to the festival.

Her very first official task. And it was a huge success. She could have been proud for sure. But she wasn’t. She was happy and full of humble gratitude towards the gods, who granted a little wonder for all to see, when the offerings suddenly vanished and their blessing showed in form of beautiful, rare blooming flowers, that normally don’t grow here. She still holds dear the Daydream flower the wind blew to her, when the others were blown away. It does not wield away at all. And for sure it is her most precious treasure.

But it also was the last day, she saw her “little sister” Liel. It was the day she told Amelia, she was disappointed in her. Disapointed because she could not understand, she still loves him. Bidukan. Their conflict became worse and both acted childish sometimes. It made her angry. Why can’t he just close the doors? Why always provoking Liel on purpose? And why does Liel always has to dwell in old misunderstandings or let herself provoke? She felt like sitting between two chairs and it became slowly hard to take.

It hurt her deeply, that Liel started to turn away from her because of her feeling for him. She even did not sleep at home anymore. Yet, she could understand. Liel could not understand her situation. How should she? But still it hurts. She wished so much they just would stop it somehow. But she knows, none of them would.

She sighs lightly, directing her thoughts to some more pleasant memories. The Crafter’s Fair. She remembers how nervious she had been, meeting Jakob, the tailor of Runewick, the very first time. Ever since she started to learn tailoring, people continued to tell her about the great master tailor. And that if she would work hard enough, she might reach him one time. Now she met him and totally screwed all up due to her uncertainty. It even ended in a terrible argue with Cynthia. But luckily, they made up again. She does not want to lose her as a friend.

Stop. Happy memories.

The fair was a huge success nonetheless. She felt so flattered by all the praise given to the dress she made for Lady Katharine. That day, she felt proven to her decision to become a tailor, in the end. Not to forget the bet she lost to Liel, which kept her from quitting.

Liel… Amelia was worried. Where had she gone?

[Amelia Rotholz]

Nightmares

Cadomyr, Tailors Workshop.

Amelia was working on some ropes for Oxi’s list, when she heard steps, then the sliding sound of the lock bar behind her.

“There you are, little farmer girl!”

She felt like her blood was freezing in her veins when she turned on her heels. It was him! The man in black armour who assaulted her and Peter!
She wanted to scream, but her voice was gone. It felt like someone was trying to choke her. She stared at him in terror, that man whose sheer presence was enough to scare her like hell.

But what was that? Her vision must fail her, as he turns into some kind of monster, clouded in black flames and mist, twirling around him, his face pale as dead. He stares at her with red glowing eyes, laughing in a deep and sinister way.

This was no human being! He was a demon!

“Raban’s house! Armoured! Alone! Tell your brother or I’ll come for you!”

His hand, more a claw in iron armour, reached out for her, then all went black.

She awoke with a start, a silent scream on her lips. Her heart was pounding like it wanted to jump off her chest and she was catching for breath.
She just realized it was a dream when she felt Peter's hand on hers.

“Shhhh! Calm down, little sister. It was just a dream… I’m here… nothing will happen”, he spoke to her in a low, soft voice…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Recovery

Amelia was lying in her bed, reflecting over the day...

17 days had passed by now, and had she longed to see the sky, feel the sun ang breath fresh air again. As if he had read her mind, Peter suggested exactly that as she woke up that day. The fever had ceased and the itch had gone, finally, for three days, now. No pustules anymore.

She still felt a bit weak, after lying in bed for so long. But she was happy and she could not wait to see her friends and thank them for all their good wishes. Especially Oxi, or better Era, for the delicious soup.

After a quick bath, she had dressed up warm and got ready for a short walk with Peter, meeting Drugar and Allesandra on their way out. Oh, how happy she was, just to see them again!

Together, Ami and Peter strolled through the woods, just collecting fruits and eggs… and talked. It had been a long time, since they had the chance to talk so freely. It nearly felt like back then, when she was still a little girl. They dwelled in memories, laughed and joked around the whole day and even had a little race on their way back.

Amelia had been more than happy. But then the subject switched to the knight.

“Amelia, please promise me not to sleep at his flat, anymore.”

She had asked Peter if he really does not trust her.

“I trust you. But I don’t trust him.”

“Why?”

“Amelia, I’m sorry to say that… but he did not even ask for you, not even once.”

His words echoed in her ears.

“…not even once.”

Back then, when Aly was missing, she was all he could think about.
And now, when she was fighting for her life in high fever, isolated to her flat, he did never even ask for her???
No letter? no wishes? Nothing?
While all her friends worried for her?

She could not believe it.
No, she did not want to believe it!
There had to be a reason! It just had to be!

Slowly, her eyes filled with tears…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Nightmares – Part 2

Flames engulf her. Flames bearing eerie visions of marching legions, hundreds of red skeletons. Then, an explosion, unbearable heat and a blending light, followed by a fowl smell. It felt like she could not breath.

Then her vision gets blurry.

She hears the noise of swords and arrows, cutting the air around her. She knows it’s her friends, fighting the evil just a few meters away. She wants to run, but her feet defy her.

“Stay calm! Don’t run, you need to see this!”

It’s Oxiana’s voice. Her heart is pounding so loud and hard that it hurts and she fears it could be heard.

Then Katharina falls.

A scream escaps her and as she looks around she sees all her friends, all that are dear to her, being slain, one by one, unable to move. Then the skeletons turn towards her. She screams as one of them swings its sword against her…

She is sitting in her bed, wide awake. The room is pitch dark and she hears her hard pounding, her blood rushing in her ears.

“You are here to help…”

She whispers to herself, like she did back then on the battlefield.

[Amelia Rotholz]

Resolution

At has gotten late again and she was spending all day on fields. Mas is drawing near, day by day now and that was all she could think of. Does she do enough? Will she be ready? Does she save enough to supply the fighters with strong meals and also all others who may need it?

She was no fighter. And she does not want to be.

Her eyes wander over the sketches, she was working on. Jacob waited for them. But her shoulders hurt so much from the hard work. She will finish them tomorrow, hopefully.

Again, her thoughts go back to the battle at Letma. Luckily, her skills were enough to take care of the wounded… this time. She was thinking about that a lot.

Nodding to herself, she makes her decision: Never would she wear any armour, nor wield a weapon in battle.

But she could give support.
She could give hope.
She could help.
She could take cares for the wounded.

By tomorrow, she would seek out the druids to start learning…
And so she did.

[Amelia Rotholz]

Shame

She awakes startled, the needle still in hand. She had dozed off, again. She looks out of the window of the workshop at Cadomyr. It is still pitch dark. She was sitting here, all night, by now, sewing one dress after another just to sell them off. Her hands already hurt.

No choice.
She is broke.

She wants to pay her dept to Inara as soon as possible, Even though she knows her friend does probably not care, it had a nag on her.

She just had enough copper to travel here.

When Jacob demanded his coins back, she thought, he was joking, at first. But he wasn’t. He withdrew his order. In front of everyone…

“If I pay for something … I expect something in return.”

His words echo in her ears, cutting like a knife.
It felt like she failed.

She felt little.
She felt embarrassed.
She felt ashamed.

She takes out a quill and a parchment, to write him a letter, adding that two cursed sketches.

After sending the dove off, she takes up the needle again. There is work to be done and she wants to be back on the fields at daylight…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Prayer – Part 1

“You stay here, in Galmair!
Best until Mas is over! Jefferson is out for destruction, so don’t leave town.
Or do you want to be kidnapped and tortured for years?
Please, give me your word, Amelia!”

Aleytys’ words are serious, demanding and full of concern. Amelia promises reluctantly. Aly is right and Ami knows it. She watches Aly and Inara leaving in resignation, before slowly walking to her flat.

Door locked, lamps lit.

“Now, I’m really arrested…”

She sighs as she takes off her cloak and hat, and takes her seat at the table. Time for her daily prayer. Carefully, she places a bouquet of 10 firnis flowers on the table in front of her, then she folds her hands and bows her head as she humbly whispers:

“Oh, dear Sirani, goddess of love and joy! Please forgive me for not visiting your shrine, today.
I still hope you'll take my humble offer, though it is not as pretty as it used to be.
Please lend me your clarity for my heart, so I'm not filled with fear and resentment.
Let me be worthy your warmth and guidance, so I will be able to shine as a light of hope and confidence for others.
Please guide me in all I do, so I humbly beg of you. Lead me the way to better myself to spread your love and joy.

And please watch over Bidukan, open his heart so he can see the wonders around him.
Light the way of my beloved brother Peter, who struggles so much with his feelings.
And please ease the pain of Aly's heart, so she maybe can love once again.
I know I ask much from you, giving so little.
Please forgive me and let me be your humble servant, once more.”

She opens her eyes, looking at the flowers and sighs. Of course, they were still laying on the table in front of her. What else was she expecting? She was nothing special or something. Slowly, she rests her forehead on the crossed forearms on the table. Maybe Peter was right, coming to get her? She feels like she failed as a tailor. And now, she is set put, because of Jefferson Gray and the black armoured man.

No field works.
No tailoring in Cadomyr.
Not even a chance to pray at a shrine.

Slowly, the lights burn out. She doesn’t care, sitting in the dark, crying silently.

Suddenly, a soft draft catches the blossoms laying on the table.
Where does it come from? The flat was built into the mountain, after all.
She lifts her head, lighting a candle, just to gasp in surprise:
The firnis flowers are scattered all around her, like a warm embrace, all, except for one, which is gone.
She smiles and wipes the tears away, feeling a comforting warmth within her heart.

“Oh goddess! Thank you so much! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!”

Carefully, she braids one of the flowers to her hair. She turns around herself once within the circle of blossoms, before gathering them and put them carefully and humble into a vase, so no one would step on them.

Right, she was restricted to the town walls, but that doesn’t make her a prisoner.
She straightens her shoulders and leaves the flat for the kitchen, a calm but happy smile on her lips and a certain glow in her eyes…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Threats

There she sat on her bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at the arrow laying on the bed in front pf her. Her thoughts circling around what happened minutes ago.

It was a cold night, but she wanted some calm minutes, to sort her thoughts. She spent most of her time at the hospital. Yridia had finally woken up, but still, she needed a lot of rest to recover. She was standing there, on the balcony of Bidukan’s flat, gazing at the stars, when a pebble landed before her feet.

Looking down, she froze immediately. It was him! The man in black, aiming with an arrow for her.

“Listen carefully!
If you testify against me or even open your mouth about me once again, I kill your brother and will hang his body at the golden bridge! If you keep your mouth closed, nothing will happen to you or your brother! Remember little girl, you can run, but you can't hide. You are warned already. Think what you prefer, to testify or to have a brother.”

She winced, as the arrow hit the bench beside her, dropping to her knees, she nodded mechanically in despair, with tears in her eyes.

“I knew you would understand. You have my word; your brother will stay safe as long as you keep your mouth shut. But remember, I know where to find you, Amelia.”

She couldn't really remember taking the arrow and running to her flat. But she knew what she had to do, to protect Peter…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Odyssee

„Oxiana? You said I can ask for whatever I need”

Never she would have thought, these tiny words would lead to an adventure. As she could not leave town, due to her promise, she only wanted someone to ask in Runewick for some more books as she felt like not really being ready to take care of the wounded, during Mas.

Shortly after, she found herself on the way to Runewick, escorted by Oxi and Era. There was a gap to her promise: If the Hand of the Don ordered her to go, she could not refuse. She was overwhelmed by the size of the library, but also quickly disappointed.

City of knowledge and wisdom? Obviously not.
Well, there were a lot of books about magic, some about races and gods and some rather doubtful ones about the realms and cultures. Besides, a lot of journals, and stuff, that seemed not useful at all, like ballads and jokes. Hours past, searching every shelf…

But not a single page about science beside magic, nothing about healing, poison, herbs or anatomy. Even at the hospital, they found only books about Runewick and the gods.

“Maybe ask a priestess?”

Oxianna had a point there. After being ignored by the gossiping priestess of Elara, they headed to Yewdale, to seek advice at Oldra’s shrine. Rather shy and humble, she had asked the priestess for advice.

“Please excuse me, asking for something like that but... I was about to learn the ways of a medico.... but the druid who taught me, fights for life now... and Mas is drawing near. So, I came here to seek out help... I don't feel ready for that task yet, since I lack of skill and knowledge…”

“Share you troubles with our Mother, she will sooth you.
Seek her guidance and she will lead you.
Even from afar, a mother watches.
Should you stumble, she will catch you.”

Feeling reassured and strengthened in confidence, she thanked the priestess and kneeled before the altar, for a humble prayer:

“Oldra, Goddes of Life, Mother of all living,
I am but a humble servant, but I beg you,
guide me and lead my hands so I might not
harm the ones trusting their lives on me.
Let me be ready to cure and heal
in whatever way is needed.
This shall be my way to serve you.”

“More use than any of those books I'm sure.”

She knew, Oxiana was right. She would be ready…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Reflections – Part 4

Mas was over, finally.
She was laying in her bed, piercing the darkness to look at the invisible spot at the ceiling again.
Memories flashing up, interrupting her sleep, ever since the days of blood.

Undead, demons, dragons.
Jefferson Gray.
Valherian.
Her friends and allies…
falling, one after another.

“I will hunt you down, later, Amelia!”

Valherian’s call echoed in her thoughts.
Every so often, memories mixed with fears, causing her nightmares.

But she did not give in. Blood, burns and other wounds. At a certain point, she did not remember, how she managed it, but she tended to one after another, patching them up, stitching wounds. Lady Katharina was a close call, but she would recover completely.

Bidukan.
She watched over him the whole night, that day. Luckily, his heart did not stop, a huge risk after being struck by lightning. She totally lost focus, unable to leave his side or being able to help anyone else. She felt guilty, but she could not help it. Loosing him would be the worst. She could not imagine a world without him.

But she made herself a vow not to leave anyone to Cherga’s realm under her responsibility.
And so, she did…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Doubts

Things changed.
Or was it her who has changed?

Her muscles were sour from yesterday. The little secret takes its toll. Still, it feels like betraying herself, betraying her principles. But it also helps, finding grounds again and letting things go, that weighted on her heart heavily.

She lost her groundings, after all she saw at Mas. Praying helps, but she screams to her pillow at night, quite often. Even worse she was sure, somebody plays a foul game here in Galmair. So, she started to doubt the people around her, asking herself, who she still could trust. She was sure, there was a traitor.

And then, there was something else.
Her heart felt heavy, this night. She loved him so much, but when Cynthia asked her about his feelings, she had to confess, he didn’t show a sign of deeper feelings towards her. Maybe Cynthia and all the others were right and she would never be more than a friend to him.

Well, she promised herself to stand by his side, with or without his love. Her heart belonged to him.
She turns to the side, hugging her pillow with a sad sigh…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Cursed

The Festival of Lights was a small success, even only few could attend and the fact that Jefferson Gray and Valherian are still out there threw its shadows. Yet, the march of Light had been pretty festive and the overall mood was good. All in all, Amelia was happy about it.

But that joy was not meant to last for long. Amelia was kneeling on front of Bidukan’s bed, her hand laying on his and her concerned and worried gaze lingering on him, or better, on what he had become. He had been cursed and became an Imp, even lost the ability to speak. It was hard to see him suffer that way, knowing he already feared to stay like this. He fell asleep for now.

But her thoughts ran in circles. Mirai had tried to break the curse with some magical ritual, without success. Ami had prayed to Nargun, for rolling the dices on his favour, once more. She even begged Sirani, to let her take his place and bear the curse herself. But nothing happened. Slowly, she drifted away to sleep…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Desperation

When she woke up, he was gone. Only a note was left next to the bed.

Amelia,
I leave to search for help.
I won’t come back, staying an imp.
~ Bidukan

Her thoughts started to rush, immediately.
Suddenly, there was only one thought. If she would not find him, or at least a way to help him, she might never see him again. The thought alone made her panic.
Before she really noticed, she already arrived in Runewick, asking for the dragon cave.

“… Please tell, Oxi, I’m sorry”

That was the last she said to Deanna, when she ran. Somehow, she made it past the imps and beasts, sneaking behind them or just running them out. She was sitting in a small cave, between two ladders, just a few steps to the dragon cave.

And then, her mind suddenly started to work properly again, well, partly at least.
She snuck down a few steps, running up again, the moment she spotted a dragon.

Oh, if Peter was still here, he would have known what to do. She already missed him. Even if she did not tell him, it had been good, having him here, on Ilarion, having her family here.

Now, she was sitting there. Dragons downstairs, imp and beasts upstairs. She did not even remember how she had come that far. But one thing she knew. She had to do something. She wanted to save Bidukan from this curse so badly, hoping to find answers down there.

Then she heard voices. Deanna? Aly?
They came to save her, bring her back home, to Galmair. Trying to comfort her, but also to talk some sense into her. Inara… Oxiana… Other than expected, they did not scold her but comfort her, just being there for her. She realized, how silly and selfish she acted.

Now, she was laying on the bed in his flat, feeling his presence still lingering there.

“Please… come back…”

[Amelia Rotholz]

Happiness – Part 1

She snuggles in her blanket, with a happy sigh.

Bidukan was back and he was back to normal. Even when he heard about her silly actions, he showed no sign of anger or disappointment, he did not even tease her on it.

She was able to surprise him with the new cloak, bearing the crest of his house to be, someday in the future and it filled her with pure glee to see how happy he was about it.

They spent quite some time together, since he returned, working, but also talking a lot. Being well aware, that this might last only as long, until the next problems show up on the horizon, Amelia just enjoyed every minute of it, being so thankful, from the bottom of her heart.

Smiling to herself, she falls into a soft sleep.

[Amelia Rotholz]

Happiness – Part 2

Days have past and still, Amelia felt joyful and happy, despite knowing, Valherian and Jefferson were still out there. Her heart was making jumps of happiness when he brought her to the place, she loved so much.

“We could say this is our place.”

His words lingered in her heart, filling it with such a warm feeling. Yes, he was not perfect. Yet, who even is? She had faith in her heart, faith in Sirani, and faith that such strong feelings could not be wrong. If he feels the same way, she did not know, but it did not matter anymore. She made her vow never to leave his side, nonetheless.

“I do have faith in you.”

Some other words she hold precious within her heart. But now it was time to get ready for the ritual. May the gods show mercy…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Cherga’s Kiss

Blurry visions.
Dragons.
Monsters.
Fire.

A slicing pain on her back.

“Noooooooo!”

A voice like far away, calling for her.
A diabolic laughter.
Jefferson Gray.

Then, all went black.

She wakes up with a start, grimacing immediately as the movement brings back the pain. The room was only lit by the fireplace. With one hand she runs through her hair, as the memory reaches back on her. Slowly, she laid down again on her right sight.

Right. She is in Galmair. Oxiana and Inara had found her at the cross. Bidukan carried her to the hospital. She remembers Drugar scolding her and Katharina tending to the wound while Inara hold her hand and assisted.
She was lucky. It is was some claw that sliced up her back but no bone was damaged. Yet, she had lost some blood and she felt weak. And slowly, the effect of the Sibanac starts to wear off.

It was silly, wasn’t it?
To try to break through…
She had no chance to begin with.

If that ferryman just would have brought her to Runewick’s local harbour, she would have been safe. But he didn’t and so she felt she had to try at least. For Deanna fell and needed help immediately. Ami did not make it.

But Cherga brought her back, so it wasn't her time to leave, yet.

She reaches for her bag, inhaling sharply, searching it for a small bottle, with some herbal brew.
Just a small sip to ease the pain again, before she falls back into a light slumber…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Visitors

The day after the Runewick incident. Amelia felt still a bit weak due to blood loss, but there were no signs of infection. Normally, she would just have rested but instead it felt like half of the town was visiting her. Yasna, who just paid her a visit to cheer her up. Wynter who was insisting to feed her with some bananas. Drugar, who always managed to peek in when she was just asleep.

Eli and Exelous, though they seemed more interested in Allesandra, who was fighting for her life in the other bed. Understandable. Also, she could not forget Exelous barking at her so roughly. She did not know him like that.

Fergro, who had a nice private talk with her and did supply her with light sibanac tea, having her designing a sketch of a nice little trinket. Inara, who had to tell her so many things. Too much for one evening. She was so happy for her, since she devoted to Bragon, finally.

Sarangerel, having a surprisingly nice, long private talk that made her think about her future.

“Are you ordained to be a priestess, yet?”

She never thought of that possibility, but that was something not to decide easily.

And then there was Bidukan, visiting her as often as he could. But the first time was it, that made her heart jump highest. He came with some beautiful flowers, even a daydream flower, which was the kind the gods granted her at the Festival of Gratitude, and a gorgeous tybald star. He took a lot of time sitting next to her and taking her hand. He was so soft and gentle to her.

It made her so happy

Finally, Yridia found the time to come for her and stitch the rest of the wound. Never had she been so grateful for sibanac paste. Soon, she would be able to leave the hospital. She longed for fresh air and the warmth of the sun on her skin…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Torn

She was lying in her bed, hugging her pillow. Slowly, the events of the day pass by.
She was so happy to be able to leave the hospital. The cool, fresh air was like a gift. She decided, just to take a walk in the woods, finding herself picking berries right away. But she enjoyed the sun on her skin and the smell of the woods.

Meeting Inara made her happy. She was so proud of her. Not only because she was declared to the rank of a knight, but because she declined for now, feeling not ready, yet. But still she asked her to design her a crest. A great sign of trust, she only had received once, yet.

Then, there was Oxiana’s cryptic letter, which troubles her a lot.

“...I fear I must keep my distance…”

Did she do something that made him do that? She always refered to him as a mentor and a friend. And now he wants to keep distance all of sudden? Did she disappoint him? Did she fail him? Well, he sure will have his reasons. Reasons, she did not know.

Then, a soft smile crosses her lips with a light blush. The memory of a single moment. Bidukan never had looked at her that way, before and thinking of the light kiss on her hand, gives her light goose bumps again. Something so little that felt so intense.

But then, there was the other issue, unluckily connected to it. Something that makes her feel like being torn. The decision was clear, no matter what he would decide. Not only because of her vow, but even more because of her heart. Still, the thought hurts somehow. But she would keep her sacred promise, made in the name of Sirani, even if it means to leave all behind, that grew dear to her.

She does not really notice, but slowly, some tears start to wet her pillow…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Darkness and Light

Again, Ami lays awake, like so often these days. Some of the recent events crossing her mind again.

It has been in the middle of the night, when Bidukan returned to Galmair, with Jefferson Gray on his heels. They entrenched behind the wall, Bidukan, Amelia and Drathe, who had caught an arrow on his arm. Jefferson demanded Bidukan’s head, yelling curses an trying to spread uncertainty with his talks of doom and failing. The situation was rather bizarre, both sides yelling at each other over the wall. Even Ami lost her temper at some point.

“Oh... shut up, will you? You failed for what you have become and now go and troll a tree!”

She still could not believe she said that loud, yet even yelled at Jefferson. After a while, Jefferson just left, after spitting some more unholy nonsense. She took care of Drathe’s injuries. Once again, he must have had a lucky star, for it being not sewer, although not wearing bracers.
It was just a few days later, when Jefferson appeared in font of the gates again, but this time, with his filthy minions. But the fighters were ready, with fellow friends from Cadomyr at their side. Even Inara. The battle was fierce and Ami herself could do nothing but watch from the wall.

Until Fergro fell.

She was rushing to the cross to save her dear friend. Luckily, his injuries were not that sewer. Cherga had shown mercy, when sending him back. Nonetheless, she worked franticly, to stop the bleeding and save his leg from permanent damage. Again, a friend with a lucky star, thanks to the gods.
She shakes her head to get rid of the unpleasant thoughts, as another moment crosses her mind. It was just a short moment with Bidukan, but a precious one she sealed within her heart. A moment of whispered words.

“Bidukan… I once asked you to be my shield.”

“Yes…”

“Now please... Let me be your light in the dark. If you ever feel fear or doubt, rely on my light.”

“May your light enlighten for ever.”

“Forever and beyond...”

[Amelia Rotholz]

Happiness – Part 3

She was laying in her bed, her thoughts dwelling in the memories of last night. Bidukan took her out to accompany him on a hunt, well at first. But where he brought her to, afterwards, was a real surprise and a place of wonders.

Never had she seen a real fairy before in her life and now, she was surrounded by them, dwelling among them as they danced around her, covering her red dress in glittering dust. Her heart was filled with pure happiness and joy and all the dark shadows of the past days, just vanished for these precious moments.

Also, there was this mysterious place with Nargùns altar and the two magic mirrors. She knew there was a secret to it, what sparked her curiosity. But there were four levers to take and so, they agreed to come back with Fergro and Inara to solve this mystery, another time.

Her memory went back to his soft smile, when he just watched her, enjoying that dreamy place. She was filled with pure happiness, and for the first time since Mas, she was able to sleep without nightmares, dreaming of dancing fairies…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Letter to Peter

It has been a quite a while since her beloved brother Peter left to rebuild their farm and save their legacy back home at Brimshire, at the Albarian border of the realm of Salkamar. A lot has happened since then. Time, to write a letter. So she lights the oil lamps in her flat and gets parchment and quill.

Dear brother,

sorry, that it took me so long to write you but so many things happened and I got so much to tell you. First of all, I’m fine, so don’t worry. And I really hope, you are well, too.

Greatest news first: Yridia performed a ritual to help Runewick and plea to the gods for help and mercy, opened by a moving speech by Sir Exelous. It was so thrilling and moving and you really could feel Yridia’s deep connection to Ushara and the presence of the Five. And then, a warm, strong wind arose and blew away the poison clouds from the land!

We then went to Runewick, all together, to see the results. And there it happened: Yridia was able to get some connection to an ancient mountain spirit! The experiment in Runewick, to remove the dark column and the portals, did awake it and the poison and rock spikes were the result. According to Yridia, the spirit is not angry or ill willed, just startled and confused.
But it’s mountain will rise from the ocean in front of the shores of Runewick and thus, we all work hard to prepare for a flood. Deanna was even blessed by a vision from Eldan himself, as an answer to her deep prayers, showing her what to do to avoid devastation. It really was an honour to experience all that, first hand.

On a side note, I really missed you at the Festival of Lights. It was great, even if not as many could attend. But it was festive nonetheless.

Sadly, we also had several encounters with Jefferson as well. The greatest one right after the ritual, at Runewick. Seems, it really crossed his plans, since he showed up with his army of undead and monsters and tried to siege the town. I still can hear his diabolic laughter.
He showed up in front of the gates of Galmair twice, since. The second time, Fergro fell, but luckily, I was able to bring him back to his lively, joyful self. He really has a lucky star.

So did I. Don’t worry, I am fine by now, but I spent a few days in hospital due to a cut on my back. Only a thin line will remain, though. I could have kept it secret from you, but I don’t want to lie to you. Also, it showed me something important and beautiful: There was no day, I did not get visited. So many people came to look after me or just to cheer me up. I made me realize, how many people care for me here.

Allesandra was less lucky. Her condition was severe for quite long time. She got poisoned heavily, by the water around Runewick. Sammy did tell, a lizard could dive into it, if not breathing the water. So, she took a shapeshifting potion to confirm, so no lizard risks his life. Just so like her, ever so selfless.
Now she was laying down, fighting for her life, being closer to Cherga’s Realm than to ours, sometimes. No medicine worked.

But thanks to research of Lady Deanna and Yridia, they found out about a very rare and precious herb called sulphur weed, which only grows close to volcanos. A huge search party went out and Deanna instructed me in every detail, since I was responsible to oversee Allesandra’s whole treatment, making sure no one makes it worse, like Sammy with his strange ideas.

Luckily, the search was a success, so I was able to prepare the healing bath. What followed then, still gives me shivers down my spine. Yridia performed a ritual with some ancient elven chant, to heal her. But instead of just witnessing, she made me be part of it. We held our hands over Allesandra together, like a roof, and Yridia told me to focus on my goddess. And so, I did focus all my mind and heart on my holy Lady Sirani. The feeling, I can not describe. It was like the air was glowing and I felt such unbelievable warmth within my heart.

And then, Allesandra woke up. I was so happy and relieved. She still has along way to recover, but she will make it! I am so impressed in her will to live. She fought so hard for so long!

So much to what happened here. I hope all are well at home and Matt and Theodor survived Mas safely and that you can save yourself from Sarah’s attempts to catch your attention. And of course, I really hope you can safe our legacy and rebuild our home.
Please give my regards to everyone. Be safe, dear brother, may the gods be with you.

Love,
~ Ami

She goes out to whistle Taran, and the beautiful sparrow hawk landed on her leather glove. Feeding him some fresh rabbit meat, she whispers to him.

“Fly my friend, fly home safely and bring him my greetings.”

She raises her hand, watching the majestic bird circling up into the blue sky, before heading back to work.

[Peter Rotholz]

Peter runs desperate his hands through his messy hair.
He looks tired, haven't slept a lot, relentless working, as the sparrow hawk arrived.
In need of a break he started to read and immediate write an answer and send the
hawk back to Illarion.

**Dear Sister,

good to hear finally from you.

Here it looks dire Amelia.
I'm the last one standing, so to speak.
Never before we had this massive attacks of bandits and undeads.
Fields are burned.
I try to manage all alone Amelia.
Neighbours are dead, or injured, like Matt and Theodor, too.
But do not worry to much. I think the worst is over, now.

First I was furious about your injury.
But I need to learn to trust you and your judgment.
And give Allesandra the best wishes from me.
Hope she recovers fast, even if I would not say it was selfless.
It was a little stupid, wasn't it ?
I really envy you Sister.
What a great experience was granted to you from the gods !

I miss the little druid, even if she did break away from me.
My thoughts are still with her, and if foolish Sarah smiles at me I can not even smile back.
But, its a fact, my manly pride is hurt and I still have a crush on Cay, despite all.

This is the finish line for now, farmlands calling dear Sister.
Stay safe, I beg you.
The Five watch over you.

Sincerely your brother
Peter Rotholz **

[Amelia Rotholz]

Letter to Peter

Ami sits over some parchments with ideas and sketches, some texts to work on, too. She stretches lightly, looking at the drawing she made of her family; a coal drawing, showing her father, arms around her mother’s shoulders, next to him Peter and in front herself, her mother’s hand on her shoulder. They all look so happy and harmonious. Oh, how much she misses them. Mas 61, it all ended so suddenly.

“Time to warn Peter of the invasion…”

She takes out a Parchment and starts writing.

My dear brother,

it saddens me to hear of the situation of my beloved home. I would have come to aid the injured myself, but the situation with Jefferson gets more and more tense and so I’m needed here as a medico.

But I have good news for you. I told Inara and she asked her family for help and her grandmother has quite a position. I was surprised myself, but it is too dangerous for Inara to write it here. Anyway, don’t be surprised if elves come invading our village. They come to help: Healers, builders, farmers, warriors. They will help you all to rebuild Brimshire and maybe also to find a way to protect it. By now, they should arrive within a day or two, as they come from far away.

I hope, this will help you all. Please give my best regards to all our friends and neighbours. May the gods be with you and may Sirani ease the pain within your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you, always.

Love,
~ Ami

Taras would fly off the next morning and for Amelia, it was about time to catch some sleep.

[Amelia Rotholz]

Nightmares – Part 3

Darkness and cloudy fog around her. She could not move, nor speak. It was like her voice was gone completely and her body was paralyzed. Then, the fog dissolved and in front her, he appeared.

Jefferson.

He was had turned his back on her, sword in hand. His diabolic laughter filled the air a crawled into her bones. The darkness lifted and she saw sparling light far away and everyone who was dear to her. Her new family here, her love, her friends.

She wanted to scream, tell them to flee, but her voice failed her. One by one, Jefferson cut them down. Bidukan, Inara, Eli, Fergro, Oxi, Drugar, Aly, Reyor and all the others, even Cynthia and little Sun.

Tears run down her cheeks on silent screamings.
Then, Jefferson turned around with that diabolic laughter…

Amelia wakes with a start, a light scream on her lips, tears running down her cheek. She turns to the side, hugging her pillow. It was the same dream that tortures her nearly every night…

[Peter Rotholz]

Taras comes back after some time wiht a letter attached to him.

"My dear sister,

it was a big surprise to see people flock into Brimshire.
They do stay under the lead of a blackhaired elfess named Keona Narsir.
No idea how to repay this -
I was nearly at the end with my wit and how to solve all the problems.
But all of sudden all looks so much brighter.

Please Amelia, tell Inara that the help has arrived. I hope it will not come with a cost later. But I trust you both.

For you , dear sister, I hope you are learn more and more, grow and be the woman I do see in you.
Support Galmair as good as you can.
You know from your home and birthplace how important it is to stay together.

Did you hear anything from the Druids or Cay ? I still miss her.
But I have to come to terms with it. She loves this other man , I was to young for her taste.
I hope she finds the happiness she deserves !
So maybe if you see her - let her know that I wish the best.

Now I close this letter out dear Sister.

Love and Regards

~Peter~

[Amelia Rotholz]

Reflections – Part 5

Chaotic thoughts circled through Amelia‘s mind. So many things had happened and it was hard to keep all the memories in order. Fergro fell, protecting her, once more, during one of Jefferson’s attacks. Lady Eleanor, priestess of Cherga, shielded her too, so she could take care of him. Later on, she declared Amelia to stand under her protection. And during their latest talks, Amelia really trusted her and valued her advice and friendship deeply.

Disputes within Galmair had become worse and worse. The tension between Bidukan and Oxiana became hard to bear and ended in a huge fight at the marketplace. Bidukan told her, he broke with Oxi and Era, but to her surprise, he even encouraged her, to keep her close bond to them, knowing how much it means to her, for he only wanted her to be happy. Ever since then, things seemed have set in motion, with no turning back. Jacob was gone for a long time, already. But Oxiana wanted him to approve the plans on a town guard. After such long time, Bidukan had given up his hopes it will ever happen, instead of seeking out Oxiana to talk about it, once more. He sure can be a rockheaded golem, sometimes. Instead, he came up with the idea to form a guild, open to all realms to help better the overall security: "Wolf"; in the name of Malachin.

Jacob. Her thoughts travel to poor Cynthia. She must have been so worried. He was gone for months already, without any sign of life. Cynthia was a mere shadow of her cheerful self. Ami worried much for her dear friend, as they all tried their best to cheer her up and give her hope and comfort. Amelia included Jacob to her prayers, hoping he would be back soon and safe. Even more after the recent events. He was needed here, more than ever.
Jefferson crossed her thoughts, all of sudden. She shudders, remembering what he did to poor Horace. She never met the man, but no one deserves such an ending, even worse since he was a peaceful druid and friend to Yridia. She still remembered Bidukan’s pale face, when he told her about the awful sight, adjuring her, not to leave town anymore.

“Since today, you will not leave Galmair, no exception. And inside the town, you will be with more people. If you need to cook, we will buy veggies. No more farming, at all. Tailoring isn't needed for now. You will keep my key and if needed you shall lock inside this flat.”

It wasn’t an order. It was a deep plea out of fear for her, that very moment. Horace was dead, slaughtered for no other reason than Jefferson’s wrath. And it left everyone in shock. Now, Jefferson and his minions opened the hunt on everyone, stating clear, the Hemp was theirs to claim from now on out. So, the dark times just have started…

[Amelia Rotholz]

Bloody grounds

Amelia wakes with a start, haunted by the same nightmare that haunts her every night, again. Pain brings her to reality immediately, like a hot glowing knife, cutting through her flesh. Moaning in pain, she presses her hand on her left side, being well aware, she must not move much, for the wound, especially the inner injuries could become even worse. She was shivering, her hands cold as ice, the skin pale as ash. Yes, she’d lost quite some blood…

Slowly, reality and memory crawl back onto her. She was laying in Galmair’s hospital. They room was dark and empty, only lit by the fireplace. What happened? Pictures, bit of memories flash up quickly, lacking order. Stitching up Azure… a messenger crow… Foozer in pain… Eleanor crying in despair…. Eli, stitching her up…

Valherian.

It feels like she still could feel the cold steel of his blade, striking her down, Eleanor’s voice, yelling to stop. His words still echo in her ear.

"The lands will become red, as my lord ordered!"

Then, all went black before she found herself in Galmair at the resurrection column. Half dizzy and in great pain, she managed to wrap a tight bandage around her body, over her clothing, just to try to control the bleeding. Then, Azure appeared… his wounds had reopened as he tried to protect her. Pushing her own pain aside, she stitched him up again, with haste, knowing she would not have much time to act, before the wound will take her down. From here on out, all becomes blurry and foggy.

Eleanor, Orion, a man named Aidan, Faran and Azure…

Eleanor had been struck down herself, trying to stop Valherian. But Ami’s vision got blurry already. She remembers trying to instruct someone how to stitch up herself. Panicking for the pain, that would await her for she could not take something for the pain, in order to be able to instruct them.
The next, she remembers is Eli’s voice and gentle presence and the bitter taste of her own pain killing brew. From here own out, her memory gets clouded, maybe for the better. Only Eli’s prayer to Zhambra still remains, overlaying the pain of the surgery.

“Zhambra, my lord, give us this day a friend in need. Bind her and heal her, keep her, your message is delivered in her every deed, Lord.
Amen.“

Someone carried her to the hospital, the man called Aidan? He was the one holding her down during the surgery at the column. His breath now smelled of brandy… didn’t he throw up making Azure take his place? Eli was the last leaving the hospital, promising to find Bidukan. His gentle words come up to her once more, as she drifts away again.

“Zhambra will keep you my grand-daughter”

[Amelia Rotholz]

Broken Heart

Tears ran down her cheeks soaking to her pillow. The room was cold and pitch dark, not even ember was glowing in the fireplace. His cold gaze and cruel words still echoed in her ears.


"You are weak..."

"I'm so disapointed..."

“Do whatever you want!
But do it far away from me!”


It cut like a knife. This could not be real! She once vowed to him, never to leave his side, confessed her love truthfully. How often did she find excuses, not willing to believe in the warnings of her friends? She believed in him, trusted him with all her fragile heart and gave her all to support him, and more. Now, she felt like her heart was bleeding.

The next day, it was like the shadow of memory was haunting her to torture her wounded heart.
She passed the depot in the guard house, hearing his voice.

“You will not be in need of anything, ever again.”

She fastened her steps, reaching for the other one behind the workshop, just to get caught by the next memory flashing up.

“Let me be your light in the darkness”
“May your light enlighten me forever”

Followed by the final words from yesterday, again

“Do whatever you want!
But do it far away from me!”

She turned and ran.
Out of town, towards the Temple of the Five.
Someone must have been there, not long ago, since the path was clear. Praying there always helped her. While she was running in tears, even more ringed in her ears. All the tender words…

“Life is easier, with you around…”
“I want you by my side…”
“I just want you to be happy…”

She arrived at the entrance, but could not step in.

“Let’s call this our place…”

She tried again, breathing deeply to calm her heart, tears running down her cheek.

“Oh please, Sirani, have mercy on me!”

She turned, staring at the spot of burned grass, where Kain chose death in Bràgons holy flame, the other day.
All came back.
The smell of burning flesh, the horrible sight, that she could not take her gaze off, terrified.
And Bidukan standing there, watching him burn. Then his cold gaze pierced her, his voice cold as ice:

“Enjoy!”

She dropped to her knees, throwing up again and crying deeply. As the sun finally reached above the horizon, she was just sitting there. All cried out. No, she would not cry to others. She would not give him any cause to accuse her, as he did, when he broke her heart the first time. She would finish her businesses and do, what she should have done in the first place. Slowly, she got on her feet, wiping her tears away. She would pretend to be fine. She would not show him tears. Better said, she would try…

Her steps leat back to Galmair. Time, to get some work done; the fields were waiting. She did no longer care for danger and escorts. It would happen, what had to happen, anyway. In a strange way, she felt relieved. She just hoped, he would release her from her vow and return her late mother’s necklace, she once gave him as a lucky charm and token of love. Eleanor promised to seek him out, since she did not dare to face him herself, yesterday.

When all her work was done, all business and duties solved, she would finally come home, fulfilling her father’s wishes.

At least, that was the plan…