Illarion.org

Are you looking for a significant other? How about just a roommate, or someone to hunt with? Do you wish for a particular gender or race to cuddle up with, or simply talk to?

You have come to the right place!

Consult the expert! For a small fee contact the girl in the farm fields of Galmair that can find all possibilities for you!

~Tru LCA~





No money back guarantee, not responsible for those using potions to hide their identity or other nefarious reasons to meet.

A note is left on a tree outside Galmair.


Dear LCA,

I come to you with a rather specific request from a business associate of mine. Word of your business has traveled fast. He has assigned me to write this letter and bring it to you. There were a lot of oddly specific details in this request, so I hope I get all the details correct for you.

My associate isn't looking for a consult, but rather already knows what (who) he needs. He suffers from bouts of 'stiff tail' and requires this person to come and rub it for him. These were the details I was given: They are a human female with yellow hair, they are often at the place referred to as the 'Hemp Necktie Inn' and is usually accompanied by what was described as an 'uninspiring male'. He was very particular about the description.

If you are able to secure this person your agency will receive 100 gold coins. The human female will receive 100 gold coins per every 10 minutes of tail rubbing. They will be required to travel outside the region so all travel expenses will be covered. Travel will not be covered for the male.

Please see what you can do about this. There is a ship disembarking from the Galmair docks on the 19th of Ushos, give your response to the first mate, he will know what to do with it.

At the harbor, having been assured this particular ship would depart on the exact date required, Tru leaves a small parchment with the first mate along with some special rolls smelling of wonderful spices, and sausages smelling like beer.

TO THE PERSON WITH THE TAIL REQUIRING ATTENTION and, or his associate:
I require a down payment to look for this human blonde-haired female, 5 gold non-refundable would suffice with 45 gold if I arrange a meeting, then 50 gold after you are satisfied with the tail rub.

There is no guarantee the uninspiring male won't accompany her. If you wish to arrange it without the male all my fees would be double.

However, if you would allow a red-haired human person with soft hands, only a few calluses, and a promise of washing the farm dirt before the procedure, you would only have to pay a total of 125 gold. Half down payment and half upon completion.

Tru, LCA

A parchment is placed in the same hole in the tree the gold was found.

Sir,

I have used all the 5 gold in my attempt to find this person..Borgate is probably laughing in his excess beer. The bad news is I can't find her, sorry. The good news is I found a man with a strange name, like a fruit, Grapes I believe, that is willing to help your tail for the same price. Since I couldn't find the original, I'll only charge you half so if you decide to accept this offer, I'll take 45 gold for myself.

~Tru, LCA~

Different parchments are placed near the teleporters in all towns and even on the bar with Borgate.



ARE YOU LONELY?

Do you wish someone neutral to help find you a companion for a small fee? Just tell LCA what you wish, we'll try to find it for you.

Contact the LCA near the farms or oven at Galmair cooking up a nice picnic for your first meeting with a potential partner.

Old and new language accepted. Bring an interpreter if only speak orc, halfling or elven please. A few dwarfen words understood but you may need an interpreter for that also.

Bring a list of requirements you would like in that special person be it mate, partner or simply new friend.

~Tru LCA~

Worth the Wait!

Too good to be true! Male, blonde, generous, human, fighter. Not interested now but maybe a year or so. Perfect for some special human...no elves.
If you wish to get on the waiting list for a possible meet later, contact....

~Tru L.C.A.~