Illarion.org

Greetings to all,

Today I realized that I am not getting younger. My prime days of reproduction are not infinite. Therefore I am seeking a physically attractive lizard female to lay eggs, mine to be specific. I am willing to pay 2 silver for each healthy offspring that comes from this arrangement.


F

fooser...that seems rather unlizardly..why pay for your own children? I am only asking a humble question as a priest to LIzardkind.
~~HIgh Priest of Zzyathis Ssaron Klawtail~~

Dear Ssaron,
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Us males on this island are left with slim pickings. I've had some disagreements for Eliza so I am reduced to paying for my children.


F

Disgusted.

~Zehshirr

Zehshirr wrote:Disgusted.

~Zehshirr

Brother Zehshirr,
He the Governor of a HUMAN town..he has seemingly denounced the regular Heritage..do not be "DISGUSTED" with him. It goes against code. to each his own and prosperity to all.~HIGH PRIEST Ssaron Klawtail

Stop worrying yourself with something that is none of your business, Ssaron.

~unsigned~

Pardon me, dear anonymous sir, but isn't it none of YOUR business as well?

~Boldly signed,
Anonymous Sir 2.0

Sirith-Rym wrote:Stop worrying yourself with something that is none of your business, Ssaron.

~unsigned~

I wasnt worrying myself. twas just curious seeing he is a lizard. i actually quite like Fooser. and this was a small convorsation i had with him on his board and i verbaly repremanded someone under MY jurisdiction. therefor taht makes this none of your business Ananomous person.
~~HIGH PRIEST Ssaron Klawtail~~

Wait wait wait.

Is it any of MY business?

-Brazenly signed,
Anonymous Lord III

Mister lord person..no. it isnt. but your little comment made me chuckle.
~Ssaron~

Dis is vury funneh, I tink it is my buzinez!
(urr did I does it right?)

The message is unsigned, but onlookers of the town board would see a heavily clad orc chuckling to himself in a boisterous manner and waking off.

*smiles as he looks at the note*

Yes mister presumably orc..you did it right. but sadly. this is not your business either.
thank you for the comment though. mkaing me laugh is ALWAYS appreciated.
~~Ssaron~~

There is a small unsigned slightly damp parchment on the board pinned with a spear through an almost dead fish.

How much per healthy offspring would you pay for a lizardess not very attractive, and how much for one that is ugly?

Achae Eanstray wrote:There is a small unsigned slightly damp parchment on the board pinned with a spear through an almost dead fish.

How much per healthy offspring would you pay for a lizardess not very attractive, and how much for one that is ugly?

2 silver for each healthy offspring. Uglies need not apply, hence the title of my note.

F

As far as i remember, lizardesses with a lot of muscles should account as not too ugly, if their proportions seem even and still somewhat slender-ish.
However, lizardesses with too many muscles COULD account as male, so for any meddling non-lizard a possible chance to bring happiness to a poor lizard with too much official work to spend enough time amongst his people might turn out to be a possible chance to earn a nasty, scaly tail-punch right into their highly valued jewels of family business.
Behold, oh unaware traveller !
For such is written in the books of ancient knowledge:
"For those not blessed with a lizard's nostrils, to gain knowledge about a lizard's gender : Lift a lizard's tail, and closely examine the small scales running aside the middle line of scales under the tail's middle, but only above two thirds of it's tail length away from it's ending tip. You shall find that some lizards have there thin scale lines with red and blue colour, but other lizards have there scales with only green and brown colour, and no lines. Those with the lines of colour are the male ones, but those without are either those of a female gender or younglings of an age not worthy of gendering yet."
~Damien

A redheaded halfling wanders to the board, chuckling at some of the notes. The last one sends her into a fit of giggles. When she recovers, she pins a small note beneath it.


Mr. Damien,
While your method may be the surest way to tell... it's also almost a guaranteed death sentence. I dare you to try and lift Lesska's tail to identify her gender.

CU


She giggles again, shaking her head as she walks away.

Dear CU,

Then, it should of course be obvious to you why i added a friendly warning to those travelling in unawareness.
Although i do not mind people imagining such an unwise act, watching it from a closer distance could proove unhealthy for the quality of ones clothes.
That is, if they do not happen to be of a dark red colour.

~Damien