Lost in a Fog
Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 8:02 pm
Maggie moved through the fog rolling in thickly off the sea, walking along the beach to the east of Varshikar. She had started out merely to go to the spot that she and Revlen had visited the night before, but for some reason, her feet kept carrying her along the edge of the water.
As she walked along the shore, out of the fog came the dim, ghostly shape of a tree. It was not a particularly remarkable tree; just a cherry tree, or fairly average size. But for some reason, it struck her as... familiar. It was a vague tingling sort of sensation she was beginning to get used to. She walked up to the tree, and ran her hand lightly over the rough bark. With a fleeting smile, she traced a few grooves over the thinner bark of one of the branches, just above the height of her head. Why did this tree seem so familiar, why did it evoke such a feeling of connection?
She sighed, leaning her head slowly against the trunk of the tree; then after a moment, she turned with her back to it, and slid down to sit at its base, looking out into the fog.
It was an odd sensation... nothing but vague, ghostly hints of objects around her, hardly making any sense... and inside her, there was nothing but vague, ghostly hints of memories, single foggy images without a frame of reference. It felt as if her mind had been a neat drawer of papers, and someone had spilled them out on the floor, and just left them scattered there.
Who would have thought that losing nearly every detail of a few years of one's past would be so incredibly difficult to deal with?
She was the Deputy Leader of a town she only vaguely remembered... and in her memory, it belonged to another man entirely. She was with a man, a man she knew she loved deeply; she had known his face even through the fog, but she had no tangible memories about him, no recollection of why they were together, or of time they had spent with one another. She had an adopted son whose face had triggered only the vaguest sort of recognition, like someone met only briefly years before. Friends and enemies were all around her, and she had no way of telling one from the other. Already she had been lied to at least once about the unknown part of her past, made to feel guilty beyond description.
But, there were a few shreds of hope to cling to... her earlier memories were still intact, at least mostly. Even of what was gone, didn't seem to actually be gone, just jumbled and fuzzy; all except for the months she had been missing, which to her had seemed only an instant. So, there was still hope she would regain her memory with time. And of course, there was the possibility.... the precious possibility that Samantha suspected about what had happened to her during those missing months. Oh, if only she were right...
She thought about it for some time, sitting in the damp air at the base of that cherry tree. It was a truly wonderful, precious gift she stood to gain; but it was a horrible price to pay. She sat, and thought, pulling up what memories she had, and wondering at the stories and names and details behind them she didn't have...
She remembered standing in a crypt, watching as a man with a scar sealing one eye was overwhelmed by the undead there, undead she felt the certainty he should have bested with ease, but for some reason... he did not.
She remembered standing on a tower overlooking a town, standing next to a man with a shock of red hair, pervaded with a sense of calm, of peace.
She remembered kneeling in her garden, rain and lightning crashing down, embraced by the elf with the haunted blue eyes, tears making both their cheeks far wetter than the rain could have managed.
She remembered standing in the garden again, this time in front of a woman, pale and sickly looking, being carried by a man... these two, at least, she had managed to place, knew who they were, now.
She remembered... her body, and that of another man, laying in a field of ice and snow, very obviously lifeless.
She remembered laying nestled against a man amongst the roots of a sea-side pine tree, simply talking quietly.
She remembered being cradled in the arms of an elf, in an underground chamber; though it seemed to her that she was far too small, held in his arms as a child might be.
As her mind pulled up these few precious glimpses of memory, she began to cry softly. There were a few more, even more vague... but had years of her life been reduced to these few images? Was that vague promise of hope really worth having nothing but these scraps to hold on to?
Yes. A thousand times yes. She would have given that and more, for that precious gift, had she been given a choice.
But oh, how it hurt....
She continued to cry at the base of that tree, the sobs soft, but each one feeling as though it pierced her very heart. Eventually, her sobs subsided, not in peace, but in sleep.
As she walked along the shore, out of the fog came the dim, ghostly shape of a tree. It was not a particularly remarkable tree; just a cherry tree, or fairly average size. But for some reason, it struck her as... familiar. It was a vague tingling sort of sensation she was beginning to get used to. She walked up to the tree, and ran her hand lightly over the rough bark. With a fleeting smile, she traced a few grooves over the thinner bark of one of the branches, just above the height of her head. Why did this tree seem so familiar, why did it evoke such a feeling of connection?
She sighed, leaning her head slowly against the trunk of the tree; then after a moment, she turned with her back to it, and slid down to sit at its base, looking out into the fog.
It was an odd sensation... nothing but vague, ghostly hints of objects around her, hardly making any sense... and inside her, there was nothing but vague, ghostly hints of memories, single foggy images without a frame of reference. It felt as if her mind had been a neat drawer of papers, and someone had spilled them out on the floor, and just left them scattered there.
Who would have thought that losing nearly every detail of a few years of one's past would be so incredibly difficult to deal with?
She was the Deputy Leader of a town she only vaguely remembered... and in her memory, it belonged to another man entirely. She was with a man, a man she knew she loved deeply; she had known his face even through the fog, but she had no tangible memories about him, no recollection of why they were together, or of time they had spent with one another. She had an adopted son whose face had triggered only the vaguest sort of recognition, like someone met only briefly years before. Friends and enemies were all around her, and she had no way of telling one from the other. Already she had been lied to at least once about the unknown part of her past, made to feel guilty beyond description.
But, there were a few shreds of hope to cling to... her earlier memories were still intact, at least mostly. Even of what was gone, didn't seem to actually be gone, just jumbled and fuzzy; all except for the months she had been missing, which to her had seemed only an instant. So, there was still hope she would regain her memory with time. And of course, there was the possibility.... the precious possibility that Samantha suspected about what had happened to her during those missing months. Oh, if only she were right...
She thought about it for some time, sitting in the damp air at the base of that cherry tree. It was a truly wonderful, precious gift she stood to gain; but it was a horrible price to pay. She sat, and thought, pulling up what memories she had, and wondering at the stories and names and details behind them she didn't have...
She remembered standing in a crypt, watching as a man with a scar sealing one eye was overwhelmed by the undead there, undead she felt the certainty he should have bested with ease, but for some reason... he did not.
She remembered standing on a tower overlooking a town, standing next to a man with a shock of red hair, pervaded with a sense of calm, of peace.
She remembered kneeling in her garden, rain and lightning crashing down, embraced by the elf with the haunted blue eyes, tears making both their cheeks far wetter than the rain could have managed.
She remembered standing in the garden again, this time in front of a woman, pale and sickly looking, being carried by a man... these two, at least, she had managed to place, knew who they were, now.
She remembered... her body, and that of another man, laying in a field of ice and snow, very obviously lifeless.
She remembered laying nestled against a man amongst the roots of a sea-side pine tree, simply talking quietly.
She remembered being cradled in the arms of an elf, in an underground chamber; though it seemed to her that she was far too small, held in his arms as a child might be.
As her mind pulled up these few precious glimpses of memory, she began to cry softly. There were a few more, even more vague... but had years of her life been reduced to these few images? Was that vague promise of hope really worth having nothing but these scraps to hold on to?
Yes. A thousand times yes. She would have given that and more, for that precious gift, had she been given a choice.
But oh, how it hurt....
She continued to cry at the base of that tree, the sobs soft, but each one feeling as though it pierced her very heart. Eventually, her sobs subsided, not in peace, but in sleep.