Today, like every day the last few months, Quinasa found herself sitting in the garden of the Seahorse Inn. She pulled the petals off countless night angels blossoms, leaving them all over the ground and in the water. It was lonely here. It was lonely everywhere, why even go home? Why couldn't she just let go? Why couldn't she just get on with her life? Why was this always dragging her down? Why? Coming here didn't help her to forget or make her feel any less guilty. The elfess thought dully of the few hundred years she'd lived and the thousands more she had yet ahead of her. Would this haunt her forever? Would she ever forgive herself? Dropping the purple petals on the ground behind her she walked inside and left through the front door. The chill air made the small hairs on her arms sensitive and her skin sting but she paid no attention to it. She forgot her cloak in the closet at the Union. Worrying about it would make no difference and it wasn't really that long of a walk. Dully she walked through the woods, taking the most direct route south and avoiding the roads. She had an order to fill.
In hopes that working would put the past out of her mind she set to gathering the things she needed at the depot beside the door of their small building. Her long black dress trailed behind her, her bare feet she tucked under her as she crawled around in the dirt, pushing seeds into the rows of soil. She tried not to think, to focus on the small seeds of grain in the palm of her hand and the dirt she smoothed over the small holes she made. Why was it so easy to think? Why wouldn't the thoughts just leave her alone long enough to get some work done? Why? She wiped her hands on the skirt of her dress and pulled her long white hair back, tying it in a knot on the back of her head. "I won't go tomorrow," she tried to convince herself. "Its that easy, I just won't go." That easy, she thought. If its that easy why can't I just forget? She decided to let herself think she wouldn't go, she just needed to get this grain planted. All the grain. A thousand was their order. Silverbrand was proving to be a steady customer. Why couldn't she just forget? It was an accident! Like an angry wind it kept attacking her, wearing down her reslove and her nerves. Silverbrand. They need a thousand. Why? Silverbrand... She moved from field to field, filling the rows of soil with seeds of grain.
"...it was the worst of times"
Moderator: Gamemasters
-
Hadre Taliset
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Wed May 17, 2006 1:38 pm
- Location: Ontario Canada
As with most times after an order was placed from the dwarves Tanistian could be seen flying to the Union in his usual dress, pants, shoes, and a hat on his wavy gold hair. Upon seeing the elfess he quickens his pace. Some rabbits might have heard "Yay someone to plant with." He flys up to the elfess with his usual smile on however seeing the elfess in distress the smile is soon lost to be replaced by a look of concern. He flys right up to her and asks quite quitely in his high pitched voice, "What's wrong"
((this is my first time participating in this type of role play can someone tell me how i did or what i did wrong?))
((this is my first time participating in this type of role play can someone tell me how i did or what i did wrong?))
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
She looked up for a moment and examined the fairy. "Please don't disturb my seedlings," she said simply. Perhaps she didn't hear his question, and she seemed rather wrapped up in what she was doing. She stood up carefully and stepped around the rows of seedlings to where the grass began and surveyed her own work. Wiping her hands on the skirt of her dress she turned toward the depot and dropped a bag inside. She tucked some snow white hair behind her ear absent-mindedly. She didn't notice if she'd just missed some when she put it up or if it had fallen out of the knot. Either way, now it was out of her face. She watched the fairy moving about for a few moments and then sat down outside the door. She let her head rest back against the stone wall and closed her eyes. She was beyond tired mentally, but physically she felt restless. She felt like a failure. She got up and started pacing beside the fields of growing grain, her head bowed.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
Having put some days and the most of the order of grain behind her, Quin was walking to the east gate of TrollsBane picking heath flowers and firnis blossoms on the way. It was always the east gate. It was closest. She walked past the Inn without even looking at it and headed straight for the shop. Perhaps Eliza wouldn't be too busy to chat for a little while, although she knew that these days her lizard friend was less busy than ever. The streets were surprisingly full of people and it made her feel uneasy. She wondered at that, why the presence of people made her want to shrink away. She found herself standing behind the tavern, watching people from the shadows as they passed by across the water. Maybe it was better to come at night. Quin shrugged off the hood of her cloak as she walked back onto the street and headed back toward the east gate. She paused at the door to the Seahorse. Reaching in her leather satchel she pulled out a bundle of freshly picked flowers and she darted inside swiftly. She hated the inside of the building. It held too much for her to remember and none of it was pleasant. When she came out the garden entrance she looked around and was glad to see it vacant.
She knelt down on the ground near the hedge and tenderly laid the flowers in the grass. No tears came. They never came anymore, not to her, not here. No one but she and less than a handful of people could pick that spot out from the rest of the garden. The thought made her sick and she thought she might vomit. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her back through the Inn, out the front door and out the east gate, her hair trailing behind her and whipping her in the face with each sporadic jerk of her legs in a new direction. She didn't even know where she was running- south, east, north... what did it matter? She just had to get away. Her bare feet made not a sound as she slipped swiftly between trees and over large stones, and she didn't know how long she had been running.
When she came to a small beach she stopped. She didn't know if it looked familiar. She didn't want it to look familiar. She didn't want anything to look familiar anymore. She let herself fall to her knees in the sand and then shifted her weight to her rear so she could stretch her legs out in front of her. She tried not to think of her child. She tried not to think of the Union. She tried not to think of her husband. She just stared at the water as it crashed in small waves into the wet sand not a stones throw from where she sat. With each wave she breathed in deeply and as it receeded she exhaled as if she could will the water to take her soul and leave her empty. She didn't cry although the salty air stung her eyes and lips. She just felt like giving up.
She knelt down on the ground near the hedge and tenderly laid the flowers in the grass. No tears came. They never came anymore, not to her, not here. No one but she and less than a handful of people could pick that spot out from the rest of the garden. The thought made her sick and she thought she might vomit. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her back through the Inn, out the front door and out the east gate, her hair trailing behind her and whipping her in the face with each sporadic jerk of her legs in a new direction. She didn't even know where she was running- south, east, north... what did it matter? She just had to get away. Her bare feet made not a sound as she slipped swiftly between trees and over large stones, and she didn't know how long she had been running.
When she came to a small beach she stopped. She didn't know if it looked familiar. She didn't want it to look familiar. She didn't want anything to look familiar anymore. She let herself fall to her knees in the sand and then shifted her weight to her rear so she could stretch her legs out in front of her. She tried not to think of her child. She tried not to think of the Union. She tried not to think of her husband. She just stared at the water as it crashed in small waves into the wet sand not a stones throw from where she sat. With each wave she breathed in deeply and as it receeded she exhaled as if she could will the water to take her soul and leave her empty. She didn't cry although the salty air stung her eyes and lips. She just felt like giving up.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
After what could have been days or half a lifetime Quinasa got up. Dazedly she turned around and followed the water. She knew where she was. She almost regretted knowing where she was, and she wasn't far from home. When she got back to the borders of the Farmer's Union she stopped and brushed what sand was left off her clothes and feet. She bent to the water and washed her hands and face. She didn't know why, it was habit she supposed. She didn't really care. Inside the hedges she stepped over rabbits and picked up some dead weeds. She didn't know why she did that either.
The elfess just looked lost. She took a count of what she's prepared for the order and decided to get it all out of the way before the sun went down. It was midday. What day it was she didn't know or care. To finish the order was her only goal. She set about getting the field ready and planting the harvest.
Not long after she'd started she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Boo" it said, and she recognized that it was Gilbert. She didn't want to say hello. She just wanted to be left alone. But he was so sweet, she greeted him. He gave her money for the treasury and what he had of the order for Silverbrand. She didn't look at him at all, even when he gave her food. She didn't even know if she'd eat the food. She just didn't know anymore. She thought she'd forget, as he was leaving, her name and her job. Gilbert really was sweet and a hard worker. She was sure he could take care of the Union. She started to reap the grain. She didn't care about the Union, she decided. She just had to fill this order. She didn't even know what she'd do. She thought maybe she'd lose her mind and get a new one, if that was possible. Any mind was better than the one that cursed her every minute of the day, better than the one she had that wouldn't stop with its incessant questions she couldn't find the answers to.
Where did Gilbert go? Oh, he left. She sort of wished he hadn't, but then she changed her mind. The last thing she needed was another voice to ask her questions, even if it wasn't intentionally annoying. Quinasa would never have thought such things a year ago. But that was a year ago. And she really didn't feel like herself anymore. Or at least she didn't want to. She sat in the dirt again, getting ready to plant the last field of grain for the order. Then she was done. She wouldn't do it anymore. She could go away and forget....
The elfess just looked lost. She took a count of what she's prepared for the order and decided to get it all out of the way before the sun went down. It was midday. What day it was she didn't know or care. To finish the order was her only goal. She set about getting the field ready and planting the harvest.
Not long after she'd started she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Boo" it said, and she recognized that it was Gilbert. She didn't want to say hello. She just wanted to be left alone. But he was so sweet, she greeted him. He gave her money for the treasury and what he had of the order for Silverbrand. She didn't look at him at all, even when he gave her food. She didn't even know if she'd eat the food. She just didn't know anymore. She thought she'd forget, as he was leaving, her name and her job. Gilbert really was sweet and a hard worker. She was sure he could take care of the Union. She started to reap the grain. She didn't care about the Union, she decided. She just had to fill this order. She didn't even know what she'd do. She thought maybe she'd lose her mind and get a new one, if that was possible. Any mind was better than the one that cursed her every minute of the day, better than the one she had that wouldn't stop with its incessant questions she couldn't find the answers to.
Where did Gilbert go? Oh, he left. She sort of wished he hadn't, but then she changed her mind. The last thing she needed was another voice to ask her questions, even if it wasn't intentionally annoying. Quinasa would never have thought such things a year ago. But that was a year ago. And she really didn't feel like herself anymore. Or at least she didn't want to. She sat in the dirt again, getting ready to plant the last field of grain for the order. Then she was done. She wouldn't do it anymore. She could go away and forget....
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
Days passed sluggishly. They always seemed to leave her feeling empty, and no matter how much she worked: unaccomplished. Nothing felt like it fit anywhere, least of all her. Quinasa never slept, she felt as if at every moment her body might break and yet she couldn't stop moving long enough to rest. She wondered sometimes how long she could go before she dropped, but she figured it would happen when it happened so there was no sense in waiting for it.
Completely unlooked for an old friend of her's came to the Union in search of help. She wasn't sure at first if it was a good thing or not, but she agreed to go with him to Vanima and help him replant the cherry grove. She had nothing pressing to do, everything else could wait. She couldn't remember much about planting trees, but it all came back to her as they toiled in the grass. She wasn't relieved or happy, she simply just did as he asked. She felt no joy in what she was doing, and she had long since stopped wondering at it. When she was done, Damien addressed her frankly, as bluntly as he could be in his way. She listened to his words, for he did not try to comfort her or quell the pain that was consuming her and that in itself was more than she could handle. She sat in the grass surrounded by cherry saplings and for the first time in a long time looked into someone's eyes. She wasn't sure if she could hide her pain, or if she even cared to. She just let his words wash over her and in the span of a conversation she felt like she had a chance. She still wanted to forget, but not everything. His words were honest and real, they brought to her a spark of courage where before she'd only felt dispair. That spark his words ignited was like a bonfire on her island of loneliness surrounded by a sea of misery. She walked with him and he offered her a place to stay, showing her around and making her feel at ease.
"Stay as long as you like, all elves are welcome here," he'd said to her.
"How long will it take?" she asked him.
"Ask that of yourself."
"I'll stay," she decided. She asked him about what was needed of her in her stay and what she shouldn't do. He answered her in turn and let her be on her way. She almost went to the Union. But why? she thought. There was nothing there that she needed.
She walked through the garden and into the forest letting the sounds of the trees wash over her. The small spark that her old friend had ignited seemed like a distant candle now, but at least it was there. It was steady now, beckoning to her. A large part of her wanted to turn her back on it as if she was by following his advice betraying her memories, the things that she'd held onto for far too long. But she didn't turn her back. She thought she could but that she may then be lost forever in her own grief. She tried not to think of Aristeaus, he was as distracting a thought as any and she would come to that when it was the right time. She did not need his pain, and she could not ease his pain. It was best to think of herself, for what use could she be to him for the rest of his life if she could not think of him?
Climbing a tree she made herself comfortable. She watched the sky over the forests and past the water. It was still dark but there was an almost imperceptible hint of pink. She had an hour or so to wait but she would stay there and she would wait, watching the edge of the world until the sun crested the horizon.
Completely unlooked for an old friend of her's came to the Union in search of help. She wasn't sure at first if it was a good thing or not, but she agreed to go with him to Vanima and help him replant the cherry grove. She had nothing pressing to do, everything else could wait. She couldn't remember much about planting trees, but it all came back to her as they toiled in the grass. She wasn't relieved or happy, she simply just did as he asked. She felt no joy in what she was doing, and she had long since stopped wondering at it. When she was done, Damien addressed her frankly, as bluntly as he could be in his way. She listened to his words, for he did not try to comfort her or quell the pain that was consuming her and that in itself was more than she could handle. She sat in the grass surrounded by cherry saplings and for the first time in a long time looked into someone's eyes. She wasn't sure if she could hide her pain, or if she even cared to. She just let his words wash over her and in the span of a conversation she felt like she had a chance. She still wanted to forget, but not everything. His words were honest and real, they brought to her a spark of courage where before she'd only felt dispair. That spark his words ignited was like a bonfire on her island of loneliness surrounded by a sea of misery. She walked with him and he offered her a place to stay, showing her around and making her feel at ease.
"Stay as long as you like, all elves are welcome here," he'd said to her.
"How long will it take?" she asked him.
"Ask that of yourself."
"I'll stay," she decided. She asked him about what was needed of her in her stay and what she shouldn't do. He answered her in turn and let her be on her way. She almost went to the Union. But why? she thought. There was nothing there that she needed.
She walked through the garden and into the forest letting the sounds of the trees wash over her. The small spark that her old friend had ignited seemed like a distant candle now, but at least it was there. It was steady now, beckoning to her. A large part of her wanted to turn her back on it as if she was by following his advice betraying her memories, the things that she'd held onto for far too long. But she didn't turn her back. She thought she could but that she may then be lost forever in her own grief. She tried not to think of Aristeaus, he was as distracting a thought as any and she would come to that when it was the right time. She did not need his pain, and she could not ease his pain. It was best to think of herself, for what use could she be to him for the rest of his life if she could not think of him?
Climbing a tree she made herself comfortable. She watched the sky over the forests and past the water. It was still dark but there was an almost imperceptible hint of pink. She had an hour or so to wait but she would stay there and she would wait, watching the edge of the world until the sun crested the horizon.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
There was so much to see on the island of Vanima. Quinasa was becoming more and more aquainted with it every moment she spent there. The animals left her alone and she barely came in contact with the elves that lived there; it was how she wanted it. Her thoughts circled around a central issue, and she tried desperately to discover how she could ever come to terms with it. She knew she could not change the past, could not bring her child back to life. Despite her best efforts and the reassurances of her husband in the past she'd wallowed in the guilt of having failed in her first task as a mother. She cried a lot in the first weeks away from the mainland, fighting against the urge to leave the haven she'd found in the empty woods. After those first weeks the urge dissipitated, replaced by a desire only to be left alone.
She spent most of her days and nights wandering and exploring, she felt the need for sleep but dreaded the dreams that took her when she finally submitted. And so, all alone with her thoughts, she often forced herself into a frenzy or an anger to stem the exhaustion when she felt the drowziness about to overtake her. She would run along the edge of the water from one side of the island to the other. She would climb the highest trees she could find to lift her face against the cold wind far above the forest.
She didn't accept it. She couldn't accept it. She wouldn't let herself accept it. To accept it would be to betray what she had for nine months prepared herself for and for the last 4 years hated herself for. To accept it would be a betrayal of the only memory she would kill to have to never remember. She was contradicting herself and confused. It was her memory! Her pain! Her's! She wanted to be rid of it but she didn't want to let go. She was afraid. So very afraid.
She spent most of her days and nights wandering and exploring, she felt the need for sleep but dreaded the dreams that took her when she finally submitted. And so, all alone with her thoughts, she often forced herself into a frenzy or an anger to stem the exhaustion when she felt the drowziness about to overtake her. She would run along the edge of the water from one side of the island to the other. She would climb the highest trees she could find to lift her face against the cold wind far above the forest.
She didn't accept it. She couldn't accept it. She wouldn't let herself accept it. To accept it would be to betray what she had for nine months prepared herself for and for the last 4 years hated herself for. To accept it would be a betrayal of the only memory she would kill to have to never remember. She was contradicting herself and confused. It was her memory! Her pain! Her's! She wanted to be rid of it but she didn't want to let go. She was afraid. So very afraid.
The darkly clad man made his way through the forest, the stars which broke through the nights cloak being his guide. For near a week Aristeaus had travelled the south of the isle, looking searching, the only reason for his return to civilisation the need for supplies. The begginings of a beard rest upon his usually cleanly shaven features, and grime now rested about his once clean garmants. But he would not stop nor did he wish for his unfruitfull search to end until what he searched for was found. it had been some days since he had found his wife missing from her usual place within the farmers union. Though at first curious about her whereabouts, curiousity soon turned to fear as he realised she was in none of the neighbouring areas, or within the northern lands from whence she once came.
To many this would seem normal, nothing to be feared perhaps. But for years the lady for which the man searched had not truely left the union, or sought to visit others. Her disapearance spoke of two things, either she was taken or she was hurt. And he would be damned if he would rest until he found the truth.
~~~
A conversation spoken long past, described Quinasa's distaste for Vanima, it would be the last place the man would think to look. What is obvious to most can seem to be an answer which rests to far from anothers sight.
To many this would seem normal, nothing to be feared perhaps. But for years the lady for which the man searched had not truely left the union, or sought to visit others. Her disapearance spoke of two things, either she was taken or she was hurt. And he would be damned if he would rest until he found the truth.
~~~
A conversation spoken long past, described Quinasa's distaste for Vanima, it would be the last place the man would think to look. What is obvious to most can seem to be an answer which rests to far from anothers sight.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
Nearly three months had passed since she came to be at the island of the elves. They were not an easy three months, nor were they any more hard than the days and nights of years recently gone by. She didn't want for anything material and she was left to her thoughts. She didn't care if anyone noticed her presence, as long as they left her alone. She didn't leave the island. She needed to, there was something she needed to give to Gilbert. But then again it wasn't a life or death situation and there wasn't anything in the outside world that couldn't wait for her. Well, there was one thing but she was fairly certain that could wait. Not for too much longer, the days were getting easier but she still hadn't been able to forgive herself.
Or the world.
She wondered where this great forgiveness she was supposed to feel would come from. She hated the sense of betrayal she felt at the thought of forgiveness, and she didn't expect the forgiveness to suddenly be there. She thought of her husband, the one thing she was certain would wait, and she wondered too if he had found forgiveness. She knew he didn't blame her, that he blamed himself though for what she couldn't guess. A part of her wished he would blame her so that there would be some substance for her feelings, something to back her self doubt. But instead of hating her he loved her more. He was a wonder in himself, and she knew she was lucky to have him.
But was he lucky to have her?
She thought he deserved someone better, someone who could give him more and make him smile like she knew she couldn't. Or at least she thought she couldn't. How could anyone so miserable bring a smile to anyone else's heart? After all they'd been through together, after all they'd sacrificed and won to be together... it had come to this. Would this tear them apart? She felt half a world away from him but nothing in her compelled her to leave the woods: not if she had to face what she knew she would have to face in his eyes. Those warm blue eyes that never judged her would be the hardest thing to face, harder than the forgiveness she couldn't find and the darkness that filled all her days.
Or the world.
She wondered where this great forgiveness she was supposed to feel would come from. She hated the sense of betrayal she felt at the thought of forgiveness, and she didn't expect the forgiveness to suddenly be there. She thought of her husband, the one thing she was certain would wait, and she wondered too if he had found forgiveness. She knew he didn't blame her, that he blamed himself though for what she couldn't guess. A part of her wished he would blame her so that there would be some substance for her feelings, something to back her self doubt. But instead of hating her he loved her more. He was a wonder in himself, and she knew she was lucky to have him.
But was he lucky to have her?
She thought he deserved someone better, someone who could give him more and make him smile like she knew she couldn't. Or at least she thought she couldn't. How could anyone so miserable bring a smile to anyone else's heart? After all they'd been through together, after all they'd sacrificed and won to be together... it had come to this. Would this tear them apart? She felt half a world away from him but nothing in her compelled her to leave the woods: not if she had to face what she knew she would have to face in his eyes. Those warm blue eyes that never judged her would be the hardest thing to face, harder than the forgiveness she couldn't find and the darkness that filled all her days.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
As she sat plucking the strings of her harp, Quinasa tried hard not to think but it seems the more she tried the more her thoughts wound themselves around her consciousness. She thought of days long past, years past even and the harrowing torment that siezed her when a moment of joy was shattered in the blink of an eye. That day her whole world seemed to crumble and each day since up until recently it seemed to fall deeper into an abyss. She hadn't dislodged the animosity she felt for herself, hadn't forgiven the cruel turn of events that have preceded her every step from that day to the present.... but she had stopped what felt like a constant downward spiral. She didn't feel better, rather she felt like she was hanging, like she could fall if she let herself and she knew that if she fell she wouldn't be saved. She wanted to be saved, no she wanted to save herself because she was never one for accepting the help of others ungrudgingly. She just couldn't forgive. Wasn't there a way she could go on and forget without forgiving? She didn't know what she was waiting for. It was the hardest decision of her life, and in the instant she realized she'd already made the decision she wondered how long it would take her to gather the courage to act upon it.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
"Why?" It was a small word with such a big question behind it. "Why," she asked the air and the night sky as she lay in the grass by the water's edge. When she asked the stars Quinasa wasn't expecting an answer so she wasn't disappointed when she received none. She drifted to sleep with that question on her lips, as she did every night under the sky. She was waiting for an answer from deep within herself. For a long time that night she did not dream but when dreams found her she was startled awake by the reality of her visions. The elfess sat up in the grass and rubbed her eyes. The moon was low in the sky and the earth around her was dark. She pulled her cloak up to her chin and was about to lay down when she noticed someone standing in front of her. She almost stood up until she saw who it was.
"Mother?" The figure smiled in response while Quinasa disbelievingly looked about in all directions. "This is a cruel trick," she called out into the quiet of the woods. She received no reply and when she looked again the figure had gone. Getting up from the grass she fixed her cloak about her shoulders. She walked in and out of the trees searching for signs of recent tracks but found none. Not surprising as she was on the island of the elves, she reminded herself, and elves barely left any trace of where they had been. She made her way back to where she spent her nights and sat leaning against a tree. Looking out over the water she brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. She'd never get back to sleep now. The chill wind blew and her hair swirled around her shoulders and face. When it stopped almost as suddenly as it began she didn't have to look to know that someone was standing beside her. An elfess who's long black hair touched the backs of her knees sat down slowly in the grass beside her. When she finally looked tears filled her eyes and she sat tight and quiet, biting her lip.
"Don't cry my dear, you've been crying for too long," stated a stingingly familiar voice. A hand came up and wiped away the tears from Quinasa's cheeks. It was so real but neither warm nor cold.
"You know about what happened?" she asked, her voice filled with embarrassment and sorrow.
"Yes, I do." The elder elf with the cascades of black hair and the charcoal black eyes seemed confident and at the same time deliberately soft. They spent a long time searching eachother's faces in silence before the vision spoke again. "You are torturing yourself needlessly. Nothing could be done, and nothing can be done now but to get on with your life, such a long time you have yet before you and you can not spend it in this kind of misery."
Quinasa combed her fingers through her long white locks that were the exact opposite of her mother's... of what her's used to be. She could not take her eyes from the beautiful vision that was seated beside her, the vision that for so long she had mourned. She couldn't remember how she had come to terms with losing her mother. She remembered how sad she was when she found her hair would always be white but relieved when she looked in a mirror and saw that her eyes were unchanged.
"Every time I missed you, I would look at myself and see what everyone was always telling me: that there is so much of you in me. I felt like you were always there with me because I could see you in my reflection and it was a comfort." Quinasa spoke with a sad sort of reverence.
"I know you're sad, sweetheart. I know the pain is great but you've got to realize that the time for mourning is long past, now is the time to heal. Its time to heal now, Quinasa."
"But why, mother? Why did he have to die?"
"We're not meant to know why, child, only to accept it and move on." She pushed some white hair out of her daughter's face gently. "Death is as much a part of life as living. I know it isn't fair, sweet child. I know it isn't fair but we were never promised fair. You shouldn't let life be a torture."
"But I don't know how to forgive myself."
"There is nothing to forgive, angel, there is only the unexplained and you can not forgive where there is no fault to be forgiven."
"I'm afraid to try again."
"Don't be. Do not live in fear that what has been will always be or your past will always swallow your chance for a future. It's time to heal now, Quinasa." The dark haired elfess stood up silently and started to walk away. Her rich robes of red and brown shrouded her body in darkness.
"But mother I-"
"It's time to heal now, Quinasa."
And then she was gone.
Quin closed her eyes, she shut them tight as she sat there, still hugging her legs and seeing her mother beside her, smiling at her behind her closed lids. She was sick of being alone, she didn't want to open her eyes to find that she truely was by herself once again. She waited until the fear had passed and she opened her eyes to see that morning had come to the island of the elves. She looked out over the water and wondered if it was only a dream. If it was a dream then it was a smart dream, it was the answer from deep inside she was searching for. But if it wasn't a dream, if it was real.... either way she threw aside the feelings of betrayal and of guilt. It seemed easier now that she knew she was not supposed to know the answer. She seemed lighter now that she knew she could not know it all. She stood up and held her chin high stretching her arms wide at her sides and watching the horizon. "It's time to heal now, Quinasa," she said aloud and she turned into the forest, determined to leave her guilt and anger at the water's edge.
"Mother?" The figure smiled in response while Quinasa disbelievingly looked about in all directions. "This is a cruel trick," she called out into the quiet of the woods. She received no reply and when she looked again the figure had gone. Getting up from the grass she fixed her cloak about her shoulders. She walked in and out of the trees searching for signs of recent tracks but found none. Not surprising as she was on the island of the elves, she reminded herself, and elves barely left any trace of where they had been. She made her way back to where she spent her nights and sat leaning against a tree. Looking out over the water she brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. She'd never get back to sleep now. The chill wind blew and her hair swirled around her shoulders and face. When it stopped almost as suddenly as it began she didn't have to look to know that someone was standing beside her. An elfess who's long black hair touched the backs of her knees sat down slowly in the grass beside her. When she finally looked tears filled her eyes and she sat tight and quiet, biting her lip.
"Don't cry my dear, you've been crying for too long," stated a stingingly familiar voice. A hand came up and wiped away the tears from Quinasa's cheeks. It was so real but neither warm nor cold.
"You know about what happened?" she asked, her voice filled with embarrassment and sorrow.
"Yes, I do." The elder elf with the cascades of black hair and the charcoal black eyes seemed confident and at the same time deliberately soft. They spent a long time searching eachother's faces in silence before the vision spoke again. "You are torturing yourself needlessly. Nothing could be done, and nothing can be done now but to get on with your life, such a long time you have yet before you and you can not spend it in this kind of misery."
Quinasa combed her fingers through her long white locks that were the exact opposite of her mother's... of what her's used to be. She could not take her eyes from the beautiful vision that was seated beside her, the vision that for so long she had mourned. She couldn't remember how she had come to terms with losing her mother. She remembered how sad she was when she found her hair would always be white but relieved when she looked in a mirror and saw that her eyes were unchanged.
"Every time I missed you, I would look at myself and see what everyone was always telling me: that there is so much of you in me. I felt like you were always there with me because I could see you in my reflection and it was a comfort." Quinasa spoke with a sad sort of reverence.
"I know you're sad, sweetheart. I know the pain is great but you've got to realize that the time for mourning is long past, now is the time to heal. Its time to heal now, Quinasa."
"But why, mother? Why did he have to die?"
"We're not meant to know why, child, only to accept it and move on." She pushed some white hair out of her daughter's face gently. "Death is as much a part of life as living. I know it isn't fair, sweet child. I know it isn't fair but we were never promised fair. You shouldn't let life be a torture."
"But I don't know how to forgive myself."
"There is nothing to forgive, angel, there is only the unexplained and you can not forgive where there is no fault to be forgiven."
"I'm afraid to try again."
"Don't be. Do not live in fear that what has been will always be or your past will always swallow your chance for a future. It's time to heal now, Quinasa." The dark haired elfess stood up silently and started to walk away. Her rich robes of red and brown shrouded her body in darkness.
"But mother I-"
"It's time to heal now, Quinasa."
And then she was gone.
Quin closed her eyes, she shut them tight as she sat there, still hugging her legs and seeing her mother beside her, smiling at her behind her closed lids. She was sick of being alone, she didn't want to open her eyes to find that she truely was by herself once again. She waited until the fear had passed and she opened her eyes to see that morning had come to the island of the elves. She looked out over the water and wondered if it was only a dream. If it was a dream then it was a smart dream, it was the answer from deep inside she was searching for. But if it wasn't a dream, if it was real.... either way she threw aside the feelings of betrayal and of guilt. It seemed easier now that she knew she was not supposed to know the answer. She seemed lighter now that she knew she could not know it all. She stood up and held her chin high stretching her arms wide at her sides and watching the horizon. "It's time to heal now, Quinasa," she said aloud and she turned into the forest, determined to leave her guilt and anger at the water's edge.
-
Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
Quinasa had gathered her things and was nearly ready to leave the island when she remembered something. She pulled out a small bag of cherries, grabbed a bucket, and headed for the garden. She wanted to plant some cherry saplings before she left as a way of saying thank you to Damien's kindness and hospitality. As she set about preparing the ground for the seedlings she hoped that he had remembered what she had shown him, and that he would make use of it. She wouldn't mind making regular trips out here but it would be nice to see others putting in an effort. She washed her hands in the stream when she was done and grabbed what meager things she had brought with her. The boat ride wasn't long and she couldn't wait to get back to the Union.
Upon arriving back at the Farmer's Union, Quinasa was happily met by all the hard work that they had done while she was gone. She knew Gilbert could take care of things. She put her things down but the door was locked and so she walked around the fields and the surrounding area. They really did an exceptional job. She didn't have to wait long, out of the Guild House came Gilbert. He didn't seem surprised to see her, nor did he ask her any questions and she was glad. They had a good talk about the new members, the amount of money in the treasury, and the status of labour still yet to be done. He was a talkative little fellow, and Quinasa found herself chatting with him long after she knew she should have gone to sleep. It was good to have intelligent conversation again, and there was no one better to have it with than Gilbert. He gave her a key to the door of the Guild House and she bid him goodnight.
It felt so good to be home.
Upon arriving back at the Farmer's Union, Quinasa was happily met by all the hard work that they had done while she was gone. She knew Gilbert could take care of things. She put her things down but the door was locked and so she walked around the fields and the surrounding area. They really did an exceptional job. She didn't have to wait long, out of the Guild House came Gilbert. He didn't seem surprised to see her, nor did he ask her any questions and she was glad. They had a good talk about the new members, the amount of money in the treasury, and the status of labour still yet to be done. He was a talkative little fellow, and Quinasa found herself chatting with him long after she knew she should have gone to sleep. It was good to have intelligent conversation again, and there was no one better to have it with than Gilbert. He gave her a key to the door of the Guild House and she bid him goodnight.
It felt so good to be home.
Rainny sat at her depot in varshikar, packing many things into a cloth satchel. Among these things were tools for cooking and farming, Herbology, Brewing, and fishing. There were also food stuffs, bottles, herbs, edible food, and her change of clothes. She had heard that Arist was wandering by himself and was disturbed by the news, She decided that since he helped her through her sicknesses, it was her turn to do something for her brother, she tied the satchel around her neck, and grasped onto her cleric staff. Telling Maggie and Revlen where and why she was going, she set out on her long trek to the farmers union to rest for the night, and search for her brother in the morning.
When she reaches the Farmers union, it was midnight, and none were still awake, she deicded to slide a note under the door, and sleep over by the campfire. The note reads:
"Dear Farmers Union, I'm very sorry to Trouble you so, but my Sister Quinasa said I could stay here if I ever needed to. I'm in search of one of my brothers, and am currently only resting for the night. I am very sorry if this is any trouble. If so Tell me when you get this and I shall leave you in peace. I will be happy to help out with the chores if that allows me to stay while I search.
My deepest gratitude and appologies,
Rainny Corulas of Varshikar
she takes a couple large lengths of cloth, laying down at the campfire she just built, and covers herself with the cloth, keeping her cleric staff in one hand, and her other hand on her bag of supplies. before going to sleep however, she said a prayer to the campfire, that if anyone had woken up because of the noise she was making would hear from the guildhouse.
"Ushara, I ask you in all hope and honesty, I wish your aid in helping me find Aristeaus. He helped me through my sickness, and I wish to repay him. If it is at all possible, Tommorow, I ask that your children, the trees and earth, guide me to my brother with their voices. So that I can help him. Thank you Ushara, I understand if this is too petty an asking, to help a single druid find her brother. But if you deem me worthy, I thank you with all my heart."
she closes her eyes slowly, and drifts into a peacefull and deep sleep, she seems extremely tired from the walk, and not even the bustling of feet around her could wake her untill she wakes up.
When she reaches the Farmers union, it was midnight, and none were still awake, she deicded to slide a note under the door, and sleep over by the campfire. The note reads:
"Dear Farmers Union, I'm very sorry to Trouble you so, but my Sister Quinasa said I could stay here if I ever needed to. I'm in search of one of my brothers, and am currently only resting for the night. I am very sorry if this is any trouble. If so Tell me when you get this and I shall leave you in peace. I will be happy to help out with the chores if that allows me to stay while I search.
My deepest gratitude and appologies,
Rainny Corulas of Varshikar
she takes a couple large lengths of cloth, laying down at the campfire she just built, and covers herself with the cloth, keeping her cleric staff in one hand, and her other hand on her bag of supplies. before going to sleep however, she said a prayer to the campfire, that if anyone had woken up because of the noise she was making would hear from the guildhouse.
"Ushara, I ask you in all hope and honesty, I wish your aid in helping me find Aristeaus. He helped me through my sickness, and I wish to repay him. If it is at all possible, Tommorow, I ask that your children, the trees and earth, guide me to my brother with their voices. So that I can help him. Thank you Ushara, I understand if this is too petty an asking, to help a single druid find her brother. But if you deem me worthy, I thank you with all my heart."
she closes her eyes slowly, and drifts into a peacefull and deep sleep, she seems extremely tired from the walk, and not even the bustling of feet around her could wake her untill she wakes up.