Illarion.org

... also known as "Keikans Gems"

This is a partialy humorous approach to show you what mistakes you could probably do when you apply for one of the special races.

Each of these applications were real, my answers however are not.
I just add them to fullfil the tag of being a "humorous approach", don't worry I never replied to a newbie in this way.
(Only if they read it here by chance.)

If you see one of your own applications here and want to have it removed, please send me a PM.
I'll delete it discretly.

I try to update this post as infrequently as possible and whenever I recieve something that is worth to be added.
Please don't try to fake something just to be added here.

Lets go:

Language: english

Race: fairy
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: i want to be able to fiy(if at all posable)she would interact well with people

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: I would like to have someone "new"on my team

Keikan: Watch out A-Team, you got yourself a new member! And it can FIY!
------

Language: english

Race: goblin
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: Valazar is a half-elf. He is evil and he's from the kingdom of Noriam. He was in a time chamber, put there by King Culthaine. He now seeks revenge on the king's blood relatives. My character would be good b/c he would challenge them all if he didn't kill them all.

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: Because I want to see if he's any good in another universe before I actually make my game.

Keikan: Half-Elf/Half-Goblin time traveling from another universe? Why not!
-----

Language: english

Race: gnome
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: gnomes are kool

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: they are kool

Keikan: Nah, u r not kool nuf!
----

Language: english

Race: goblin
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: i wan to play it like i am a vamp. in a way. I will intoract with others by just talking friendly.

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: Because it is the best out of all the rest.

Keikan: Both, a goblin vamp and a goblin vampire give me the shivers.
----

Language: english

Race: fairy
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: hahhaahhahah

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: hahahahaahahahahaha

Keikan: You are not *that* funny at all.
----

Language: english

Race: gnome
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: nicly

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: it would be cool

Keikan: It's nice to be cool, but its cool to be nice. Eh?
----

Language: english

Race: goblin
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: ;>

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: o,0

Keikan: :(
----

Language: english

Race: goblin
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: i'm hard to work with i don't like losing, i get realy angry!

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: i want to winn i don't like to looooose!!!!

Keikan: Game over, man! Game over!
----

Language: english

Race: gnome
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: he will interact well

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: because its cool

Keikan: Short and precise. How to interact? Well. Why gnome? Cool.
----

Language: english

Race: fairy
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: My character will be a witch, and will be evil. She will be kinda nice to others though.

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: Because fairies are special to me and because i cant find any other game that has faries in it.

Keikan: Hooray for evil fairy witches! That are still kinda nice!
----

Language: english

Race: fairy
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: to use magic and bows and arrows and be nice to other characters

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: because i think he uses magic

Keikan: To use or not to use magic, thats the question.
----

Language: english

Race: fairy
Task: Please write how you want to play the race you apply for. Especially how your character would interact with others.
Answer: I want my fairy character to be a hyper beserk girl who's greatest wish is to be a world-known bard. She would be strangely nice to others and try to get them to accept her strangness.

Task: Please write why you want to play the race, you apply for.
Answer: I have alweays wanted a fairy characer cause ive had alot of pretty good ideas for the characters.

Keikan: Next time someone tells you s/he's a bard, watch out: It could be a strange hyper berserk fairy!

**************************************
Mails:

An: "keikan@illarion.org" <keikan@illarion.org>
Betreff: Re: Illarion: Character banned


WOW your slick, How many ppl you have playing Max 30.. THIS kinda BS rules is why. Being to strict really fucks a persons fun of a game up!

Keikan: I am enlighted! The rules fucked it up!


... to be countined till we run out of noobs.

Keikan, continuing to provide top notch entertainment

Poots likes.

are you seriouse when you said people actually sent this stuff in? some of these are horible.

keikan,

could i apply for a frost giant with a firesword?

because: i want to winn i don't like to looooose!!!!

Poots wrote:Poots likes.

Grunith likes. Keep 'em coming. Some of those are hilarious...others are just so stupid they're hilarious.

I want to be a half-halfling , half-giant , half- lizard .. erm... too many halfs lol

You never played Munchkin, huh?

Samantha Meryadeles wrote:You never played Munchkin, huh?

what's that?

Who says you can't be a heinz 57 in Illarion? Maybe once upon an orc married a fairy, and the fairy orc child grew up to mary a dwarf elf, then their child become a really ugly green short fat elf that marries a human halfling? And the result? Yea you see it by now. Guess I can understand the need for no half n halfs cause.. well.. could get confusing, and one have advantages I spose.

Avalyon el'Hattarr wrote:

Samantha Meryadeles wrote:You never played Munchkin, huh?

what's that?

It's a card game. Munchkin is another term for powergamer, and more specifically denotes the type of powergamer who will backstab his own party to get a few extra experience points. Think fourteen year old, attention deficit disorder, just newly exposed to roleplaying.

Each player has a character represented by a certain amount of cards placed in front of them (or lack thereof. a human of your own gender with no class and no equipment would be represented by no cards. But have no fear, you can change classes and even races or genders in this game by the draw of a card!) The point of the game is to get to level 10 before your friends do.

Already with the base set of cards you can have some strange combinations, but if you buy the expansion sets it gets even more wackier. For example, you could be, say, a half dark elf, half light orc, half gnome, fighter/mage/bard with freudian slippers (which allows one to change gender at will) and thanks to his mechanical arms and his two-handed sword (that literally has an extra set of hands to wield more swords!), he can carry a large arsenal of sneaky bastard swords.

Damien, Brer, and myself are the only players of Illarion I know of who own the game (and, in fact, all of us have the expansions! =) ) Damien has made Munchkin the official card game of the Illarion rl meetings in Germany.

Maybe once upon an orc married a fairy

orc & a fairy? how did they......?

eeeew, please I really don't want to know, not even imagine

*raises his hand*

I own Munchkin!

und Darling Erik. =)

I blame the parents!

This is kinda funny, but also realy sad and stupid.
Especialy for those who think they're the smex while they don't even know how to spell rp.

Hermie wrote:I blame the parents!

Its all due to the violent adverts on the telly...

Yeah, and loud music...

Eminem and Marylyn Manson...

I must have that game. It appeals to me!

Korm Kormsen wrote:keikan,

could i apply for a frost giant with a firesword?

because: i want to winn i don't like to looooose!!!!

The fire would damage yourself.

AlexRose12345678910 wrote:

Korm Kormsen wrote:keikan,

could i apply for a frost giant with a firesword?

because: i want to winn i don't like to looooose!!!!

The fire would damage yourself.

I think that was the whole point...

Dónal Mason wrote:I must have that game. It appeals to me!

http://www.warehouse23.com/item.html?id=SJG1408

(buy it direct from sjgames through there. sometimes they send something special or something cheap along with purchases. you can get special limited edition munchkin bookmarks that are legal to use ingame for special stuff. the rules are on the back. =) )

wow

very expensive
munchkin 1+2 is like 20€ here, below 30$

i own 'em, yay

and erm, I wanna play a rabbit... may I?
rabbit of uber-pwnage

AlexRose123,

thank you. i am happy now.
at least one of the kiddies is really reading my posts.

korm

edit: (*)

Alazair, psssst! don't tell everyone!

(*) arme Edit... was an die alles geschrieben wird...

Hahaha.

People do the strangest things while I sleep.

2 Faries and a Gnome added.

No hate mail found.

Keikan Hiru wrote: No hate mail found.

aaaaw, no hate mail found ?
... if it'll make your day, I could send you one ...

Well atleast they're being honest.

Most older players who want to play a special race write nice lengthy coherent reasons for why they want to play a race.

When all they're really thinking is: "Fairies are cool"

Quite true, but maybe such a person such as Keikan expects a lengthy essay about why it is cool, not just because it is.