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Stephen walked along the streets of Trolls Bane, his mind full of varying thoughts and emotions. He remembered his last conversation with Abott Markous, he remembered he had walked away feeling confident with his direction but now it was just as lost as before. It was as if any decision he made he would think twice or even three times about.
It was not that he was worried about Negros or the direction he would led Trolls Bane in, oh no, that was simple and easily done. Stephen Rothman, Governor of Trolls Bane and First Knight of Trolls Bane (formerly called Kallahorn) was having women troubles. He had four women who loved him, so they said; they all certainly enjoyed laying with him, and the worst problem was he cared deeply for all of them. It would sometimes be a man's dream to have so many women willing and ready to give their bodies to him at a whim, for Stephen it was a curse. How could he tell three of them he did not love them and explain to the other why he loved her more then the others?

Irania was a breathtakingly beautiful human woman. With a well maintained body, long brown hair, sparkling brown eyes and a very feminine personality she was an ideal choice. His relationship had been hot and cool with her, mostly the latter. It was strange, sometimes she would write him poems and sing to him, other times she would flat out ignore him and refuse to hold his hand. Lately she had started to adore the very cobble stones he walked on, how could he break her heart as she admires him so?

Meriel, a woman he had effected so deeply. He loved her so deeply and it was not even a true physical attraction. He never had the heart to tell her but she was so under weight she looked constantly sick and as if a strong gust would blow her away. Her cheeks were constantly sunken and Stephen could crush her with a hand, he always had to be careful with her. Nontheless he loved Meriel, she was smart, funny, and caring when he could get her to stop being so pig headed and stubborn. When he could get past her walls she was the same fragile and loving woman he knew so many months ago. He didn't have the heart to break her a second time.

Maggie was a complicated riddle of a woman. She had truely become an unexpected love. Her philosophy of making love to Stephen and not caring to make a relationship out of it had at first surprised Stephen, she had seemed like such a conservative and respectable woman. Not to say she was not respectable, it was not as if she slept with anyone; it was just as if she was a female version of him. Incapable of staying with one person it seemed, tho when Stephen had made love with her, he had wanted nothing more then to swear his love to her. He had not done so yet, he had refrained from truely sharing his soul with her, tho she had learned enough about him to be able to predict how he felt. He wasn't ready to stop his love affair with her.

And last came Allura the lover of his former friend... former resurrector Maliss Melchore. From the day Culandria had broken Stephen's soul by telling him during his absence she had found another love and would not be living with Stephen and nor would his son, Allura had been there. Not as love at first, but as a friend, someone he could lay with and not expect or entirely wish for intimacy with. Not that he did not wish to see her naked, once more, she was truely blessed with beauty, every curve of hers was smooth and her skin was soft and warm to the touch, and her kiss was indescrible. And she understood Stephen. She could gaze at him and try as he might to hide his self doubt she would see it and make it feel as tho he could handle his problem. He truely loved her, but he was afraid of losing such a close and tender relationship if he truely devoted his life to her.

Stephen turned a corner walking north alongside the library. He loved all those women, but Markous had made it quite clear he needed to pick one and one only. Who could he talk to tho? He could not confide in the women who knew him best about his problem, that wouldn't be prudent and they would have all hate him for that.
So who would he choose? Certainly he wouldn't want to see any of them in the arms of another man. Was what he felt only jealousy veiled in the name of love? Or was it love that made him jealous. He just could not make up his mind yet, but he knew he would have too. One thing was for certain tho, whomever he picked, he knew he could be happy and content with that one.

Maggie lay in the bed in the hospital, trying to keep her bound ribs still, her mind spinning with nothing to occupy her.

Her life had grown so complicated lately. She couldn't understand how it had all happened, really. She could remember when she knew what she wanted, knew it with a certainty, even if she could never have it. Now? Now she was so confused. Always confused, it seemed. The only time that confusion seemed to lift was when she was in Pharun's arms... then she knew what she wanted; wanted to always stay there.

But when he was not there? So many things tugged at her heartstrings. And perhaps the most surprising of all of those, was Stephen. She could remember when she swore he had no chance with her. Could remember thinking she would rather die than have any involvement with him. Yet now, if it weren't for Pharun... yes, she had to admit it, at least to herself, she had come to truly love him. Would very likely devote herself to him... except. But such an exception.

Still, a part of her couldn't help but wonder at Pharun's constant talking of leaving the island, or even this life. If he loved her like he said he did, how could he so often talk about leaving this life? And if he could talk about it, he could do it. And if he did? What then? It would destroy her inside, if he were to go... yet a part of her held firm to the belief that if it did happen, Stephen would be there, would hold her and comfort her, as he had so often before. And then? But no, despite the odd word in passing, she knew that even if Pharun were not in the equation, she would never really have had a chance with Stephen, not for them to truly be together. She could not compete with such women as Irania and Meriel and Allura... and who knew who would come next? It was that that had made her swear she would have nothing to do with him in the first place.

And yet, she did have something to do with him... quite a lot to do with him. It tore her apart inside every time Pharun scowled or stiffened or said unpleasant things when Stephen was mentioned. How could she deal with the fact that she really, honestly, loved them both? She would never leave Pharun; she had sworn her loyalty, if not her faithfulness, to him, and she could not break that even if she wanted to. But if he were gone? If he left the isles, or this life? She knew all too well that it was quite likely to Stephen she would turn.

So many pulled at her heart, so many that she loved... but in the silence of her own heart, she had to admit to herself, at least, that with the exception of the one who was forever unattainable to her, Stephen meant more to her than anyone besides Pharun himself... and that by a far narrower margin than she could even admit to herself.

She rolled onto her side with a soft sigh and closed her eyes, trying to sleep, and trying to make the spinning thoughts in her head fall quiet.

Meriel wasn't able to sleep properly this night. The wound at her side kept her awake - and so did her thoughts.
With a slight groan she turned from her back onto her good side and looked into the mans sleeping face, hoping she did not wake him.
It was 'Conner' whos bed she shared with and as she observed his peaceful, sleeping gaze in the darkness she smiled to herself.

Carefully she shifted a little bit closer and burried her face into his shoulder. Conner, half asleep, wrapped his arm around her.

'Why do you do this, Meriel', she asked herself, but found no answer. Maybe because she was simply able to. Maybe because it was easy. Or maybe because it was everything she knew to do properly and was familar with. Seducing men. Giving them the feeling to be someone. Making them feel good and cause them to desire her.
Was it the only stability she had in life? The only thing she was secure of?

Meriel didn't believe in love anymore. She made the mistake to give her heart away once and the consequences were worst than she already expected them to be. She had loved Stephen. She truly had. But with everything that happened she also had learned to hate him. Or maybe, it was only the hate she felt for herself.

'Never again', Meriel thought and wandered with her fingertips lovingly over Conners back. She would never fall for anyone again.

...

She wrinkled her forehead slightly as her thoughts traveled to a certain someone again. Someone unexpected. Someone definately wrong.

'It's all so wrong', she whispered quietly and despite her own words she kissed the mans shoulder who laid next to her.
'...so wrong'.

Sitting with her back to the cool, reassuring stones of the castle, Allura let her gray-blue eyes travel over the vacant Varshikar. So much had happened here. So much Maliss. And now, memories of Stephen as well. Letting her chin rest on her chest and closing her eyes, Allura recalls pieces of the past, the recent history that brought her to this place in her life. To this place in Stephen's life. It happened when she was alone that her thoughts danced between Maliss and Stephen.

No more than thirty paces from where she now sits is where she first heard of Stephen Rothman in any detail; when Maliss had asked her to help him to resurrect the slain man. Sitting on the edge of the fountain, she had had no idea what she about to help bring in to her life.

Maliss had taken her to meet Stephen while he was still recovering, still at the lighthouse. She'd seen him, of course, during the resurrection, but it was fleeting and public and Stephen barely a shadow of who he was when they were finally introduced. And even that man seemed a mere shadow of the man she would come to befriend and then to love. He had been so hopeful, so in love with Culandria, and it pained Allura to know what fate awaited him with her.

She'd witnessed a fight between Stephen and Culandria in the middle of Varshikar's town square. It was over her betrayal and their son. Allura remembers remaining quiet, only watching while all she really wanted to do was help this man she barely knew. She wanted to take away his pain and make his life simpler. How strange that she would want that for him when she barely knew him. The only one to illicit any feelings from her in over two centuries had been Maliss, and here was this human that broke her heart to see him struggle.

Stephen had been her friend. She had been there for him, and he for her. She had sat next to him on the cobblestones outside the shop in Trollsbane and linked her arm through his, content for a time, just to be. Only to listen to his voice, listen to his past, and learn the true Stephen Rothman. Maybe it was that night, maybe it had been before, maybe it was the day he scolded her after the drinking contest, but it wasn't long before she realized she loved him and was more than likely in love with him.

When Maliss left, it seemed he had taken a part of her as well. She loved that elf, and though she loved Stephen, she had been burned. His height, his flame-red hair, his light blue eyes, all reminiscent of her Maliss. All a reminder that she'd given all and had it ripped from her. Though she had since lain with Stephen, told him she loved him, she was partly hollow. She knew he would cheat on her, she had told him he would even though he denied it fervently. She had been hurt, but not as she might have - she'd been hardened by her loss and was more accepting than was proper. She understood why he did it, she understood Stephen, and though he had asked her, she hadn't grown angry with him, nor would she blame him.

Words of love, words of marriage, words of faithfulness. All sounded pretty and she desired to hear them, but she would not let herself believe them completely. The small emptiness inside of her kept her distanced enough to know better, to listen to her mind than to listen with her heart.