Lonely
Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 4:38 am
Snow falls gently throughout trollsbane and the sound of laughter can be heard echoing about. To the eyes of someone traveling through it would seem that everyone in this town was happy, but a little ways off at a pond next to the the grey rose, there is someone who is most definately not happy. A young girl looking to be in her early teens pulls a dark black cloak tightly around herself. Her sleek black hair falls around her gently and her dark blue eyes shine with sadness. Half-frozen tears rest against her skin making it seem like porcelain. With a small hiccup-like wail more tears drip down her face. She looks into the water and slowly she starts to trace words in the sand below. As she writes each word, the water swallows it up.
I remember when Rhiannon told me about this. She told me the water was the best journal ever and it keeps your secrets safe because the second you write them the water makes them dissapear. I need to tell you something that I don't plan on telling anyone else. I feel empty, lonely, tired, and sick. I have never felt this way before. I feel like there is no one left in the world who actually loves me, and it hurts like i have a knife through my chest. I want to tell someone so badly, but I don't want to show them how weak I am. It makes me feel pathetic...small...
The girl raises her hand from the water for a few moments to warm it, and starts again.
I've always had mom here until now...and now that she's gone...I don't know what to do. What if she never comes back? I tried to make things better....to make friends..., but it just made me more sick. I made friends with Lance and he left to find his parents. What if when he comes back he's sad and wont want to talk to me? Then there's Taylor...he never wants to talk and he's always sad. He makes me feel so small because he's so important now. I never told anyone before but i've always liked Taylor...he's always liked Mairead though and everytime I talk to him he ends up talking about her and it hurts me so much I have to say goodbye. That..I will definately never ever tell anyone.
She lifts her hand out of the water and wipes a tears from her face.
I've always wanted to be friends with Rhainnon and Mairead but they were always gone. They were so important to everyone...I guess i've always though I wasn't good enough to be their friend. I know it sounds stupid and childish because they've both been nice to me, but next to them I feel so small. Alica is nice...I saw her today for the first time in ages, but when I did I felt sick to my stomach. There is a part of me that still thinks that all my old friends are still here, Capus, Olar, Morty, and Zazo, and that I can still talk to them, and that we can still go "adventuring" like we did when we were little, but they are gone, and so is that part of me that was young, open, alive, and happy. I have always been sad just a little bit, but just now I couldn't take it anymore. Sissy left. The only person in the world I thought I could talk to anymore. I'm so broken and so tired, but I can't sleep. I feel sick, but it seems like if I took medicine it would only get worse. I'm writing this here because there is no one left to tell, and if I did it would only seem pitiful and selfish. How can I think of myself when there is so much wrong around me. I don't know...and I don't wish to know. I just wish to forget everything. I could take off the ring on my finger that keeps my memory, but that would feel cowardly, so I shall just stay here by the water. Alone, and tired.
The girl pulls her hand from the water and curls into a ball trying her best to fall asleep, knowing that even if she does she will be awoken by some sort of nightmare
I remember when Rhiannon told me about this. She told me the water was the best journal ever and it keeps your secrets safe because the second you write them the water makes them dissapear. I need to tell you something that I don't plan on telling anyone else. I feel empty, lonely, tired, and sick. I have never felt this way before. I feel like there is no one left in the world who actually loves me, and it hurts like i have a knife through my chest. I want to tell someone so badly, but I don't want to show them how weak I am. It makes me feel pathetic...small...
The girl raises her hand from the water for a few moments to warm it, and starts again.
I've always had mom here until now...and now that she's gone...I don't know what to do. What if she never comes back? I tried to make things better....to make friends..., but it just made me more sick. I made friends with Lance and he left to find his parents. What if when he comes back he's sad and wont want to talk to me? Then there's Taylor...he never wants to talk and he's always sad. He makes me feel so small because he's so important now. I never told anyone before but i've always liked Taylor...he's always liked Mairead though and everytime I talk to him he ends up talking about her and it hurts me so much I have to say goodbye. That..I will definately never ever tell anyone.
She lifts her hand out of the water and wipes a tears from her face.
I've always wanted to be friends with Rhainnon and Mairead but they were always gone. They were so important to everyone...I guess i've always though I wasn't good enough to be their friend. I know it sounds stupid and childish because they've both been nice to me, but next to them I feel so small. Alica is nice...I saw her today for the first time in ages, but when I did I felt sick to my stomach. There is a part of me that still thinks that all my old friends are still here, Capus, Olar, Morty, and Zazo, and that I can still talk to them, and that we can still go "adventuring" like we did when we were little, but they are gone, and so is that part of me that was young, open, alive, and happy. I have always been sad just a little bit, but just now I couldn't take it anymore. Sissy left. The only person in the world I thought I could talk to anymore. I'm so broken and so tired, but I can't sleep. I feel sick, but it seems like if I took medicine it would only get worse. I'm writing this here because there is no one left to tell, and if I did it would only seem pitiful and selfish. How can I think of myself when there is so much wrong around me. I don't know...and I don't wish to know. I just wish to forget everything. I could take off the ring on my finger that keeps my memory, but that would feel cowardly, so I shall just stay here by the water. Alone, and tired.
The girl pulls her hand from the water and curls into a ball trying her best to fall asleep, knowing that even if she does she will be awoken by some sort of nightmare