The most secret diary...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 6:46 am
Emily walks along the edge of the water thinking to herself. Ever since the war had started nothing had been the same. It was not that she had expected it to be. She knew very much what wars were like, and she knew things would change, but she never had expected this much.
The grey rose was no longer a new place to her. She knew the Castle as though she had been there her whole life, but yet..she didn't feel welcome. Something wanted them out. She remembered the doors slamming shut the other day, and how her heart had jolted as the lock had clicked shut while she was in the basement. Something was not right...the castle wanted them to leave.
She was prisoner to these grounds now..an unwilling one. She had always been one to like quiet, and peace in contrast to the crammed loud atmosphere of the castle. Oh how she missed her old home, but her mother wouldn't even let her go there.
She smiles softly thinking of her family. Emily Thorowitz was the best sister she could have imagined ever to have. She was nice and playful, and always there for her, but yet she felt empty. She had already lost the things that meant most to her, how could she pull herself back up and except they weren't coming back?
When Mortanyia had come back Emily had been in awe. She had loved the girl, and seeing her back had given her hope. Maybe..just maybe she could see others once again. That day she had been at her highest point, but now...everything seemed so far away. And even Kara could not fill the spaces that her friends had left, because she knew...even though she liked him, and even though he cared about her, she would never feel the same.
it's all an act nowadays..
She thought to herself, and her eyes brimmed with tears she had been waiting to let out.
I do everything I can to make people believe I am happy...but on the inside I ache at every turn. I used to run away all the time, and now when I can stand up straight for them...I am running away inside. Every moment I have to accept things have changed, and every moment I want to die because of it.
Avareniah.....she had made things better, but still she could not fix everything. Emily loved her so and wanted so hard to believe she could, but she could only do so much...
She felt in the way all the time, and nothing she could do was good enough. She had become a druid to fix people, but no one seemed to care. She was a little girl, and she would always be in the way...always.
Emily stops and rubs the tears from her eyes, sitting down by the water. Her eyes light up as she remebered what Rhiannon had said.
look...
she had said, and her smile had broadened as she had stuck her finger into the water. She traced lines in the sand, and they were instantly swallowed up by the water.
Emily had smiled, and watched her do so. She had been happy to be with Rhiannon, because she was there for everything Emily had been there for, and she understood. She liked to see Rhiannon, because the fact that she had been through so much more and still standing made Emily think maybe she too could last it.
Pretty..
Emily had replied, and she immitated Rhiannons movement with her own finger.
You could write any message in the sand and no one would ever read it...like the most private diary.
Rhiannons face had lit up as she spoke, and Emily wanted to be her friend. "i'll try harder to be friends with her, and Mairead too...." she had thought.
Emily smiles, and looks down at the water. She very carefully traced words in the sand remebering that day.
this will be the most private diary, and no one will know it except for the water, and if the water whispers it to the trees than the treeswill to understand how I feel, for after all...isn't that right for a druid to be one with nature?
Emily smiled satisfied, and lifted her hand out of the water. This would be a diary that never ended. The most secret diary of Emily Xahep...
The grey rose was no longer a new place to her. She knew the Castle as though she had been there her whole life, but yet..she didn't feel welcome. Something wanted them out. She remembered the doors slamming shut the other day, and how her heart had jolted as the lock had clicked shut while she was in the basement. Something was not right...the castle wanted them to leave.
She was prisoner to these grounds now..an unwilling one. She had always been one to like quiet, and peace in contrast to the crammed loud atmosphere of the castle. Oh how she missed her old home, but her mother wouldn't even let her go there.
She smiles softly thinking of her family. Emily Thorowitz was the best sister she could have imagined ever to have. She was nice and playful, and always there for her, but yet she felt empty. She had already lost the things that meant most to her, how could she pull herself back up and except they weren't coming back?
When Mortanyia had come back Emily had been in awe. She had loved the girl, and seeing her back had given her hope. Maybe..just maybe she could see others once again. That day she had been at her highest point, but now...everything seemed so far away. And even Kara could not fill the spaces that her friends had left, because she knew...even though she liked him, and even though he cared about her, she would never feel the same.
it's all an act nowadays..
She thought to herself, and her eyes brimmed with tears she had been waiting to let out.
I do everything I can to make people believe I am happy...but on the inside I ache at every turn. I used to run away all the time, and now when I can stand up straight for them...I am running away inside. Every moment I have to accept things have changed, and every moment I want to die because of it.
Avareniah.....she had made things better, but still she could not fix everything. Emily loved her so and wanted so hard to believe she could, but she could only do so much...
She felt in the way all the time, and nothing she could do was good enough. She had become a druid to fix people, but no one seemed to care. She was a little girl, and she would always be in the way...always.
Emily stops and rubs the tears from her eyes, sitting down by the water. Her eyes light up as she remebered what Rhiannon had said.
look...
she had said, and her smile had broadened as she had stuck her finger into the water. She traced lines in the sand, and they were instantly swallowed up by the water.
Emily had smiled, and watched her do so. She had been happy to be with Rhiannon, because she was there for everything Emily had been there for, and she understood. She liked to see Rhiannon, because the fact that she had been through so much more and still standing made Emily think maybe she too could last it.
Pretty..
Emily had replied, and she immitated Rhiannons movement with her own finger.
You could write any message in the sand and no one would ever read it...like the most private diary.
Rhiannons face had lit up as she spoke, and Emily wanted to be her friend. "i'll try harder to be friends with her, and Mairead too...." she had thought.
Emily smiles, and looks down at the water. She very carefully traced words in the sand remebering that day.
this will be the most private diary, and no one will know it except for the water, and if the water whispers it to the trees than the treeswill to understand how I feel, for after all...isn't that right for a druid to be one with nature?
Emily smiled satisfied, and lifted her hand out of the water. This would be a diary that never ended. The most secret diary of Emily Xahep...