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Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:02 pm
by Ayla
The chill that was progressively tinting the night wind beat inadvertently against Ayla as she stood to the bow of the ship. Each diminutive draft of wind sent a faint quiver through her as the coolness passed through the little protection of that black tunic bearing the gold emblem of Paleonth. The elfess paid little attention to the goose bumps over her arms as her mind dwelled on far more pressing matters. Gradually, she pulled back from the rail to wrap her arms about her stomach, shoulders hunched and chin dropped against the wind as her eyes fluttered closed again. Her mind raced with fatigued thoughts, trying to sort out the confusion of everything that had been going on. In the span of a sheer three months, so much had happened to her, had worn her down. Running from Gobiath, getting caught up in a violent war, Jorokar appearing out of what seemed thin air, and now fleeing on this ship. Summed up, it didn’t seem just a whole lot. But altogether, it was incredible that she had kept her sanity throughout it all.

With eyes closed tight and the breezes and deafening waves being all she could hear, Ayla didn’t notice her deliberate, quietly advancing company. She was completely unaware, oblivious of anything aside from the sharp, pungent smell of salty air and the perpetual crescendo of water against wood while the ship cut smoothly through each cresting wave. The steady rise and fall of the ship’s nose lulled the elfess into a weary state, driving the tension from her shoulders as she allowed herself to become wrapped up in that serene calm, something she had not experienced in a long while.

The relaxing tranquility was shattered when Ayla was pulled abruptly from her oblivion by the feeling of strong hands setting gently on her shoulders. The unexpected feeling caused her eyes to fly open, the elfess looking quickly over one shoulder to catch a glimpse of who it was that had stirred her from her thoughts. The tension that had faded returned the moment she had been startled out of her musings. Who she had expected behind her, she really didn’t know. But, it seemed to be a relief to her when she realized just who it was. Staring over her shoulder to Jorokar for a brief moment, Ayla pursed her lips before looking back, her weary gaze traveling back over the slow waves. Her arms uncrossed about her stomach to return to the rail, elbows resting against the rough wood. His hands on her shoulders comforted her, oddly enough. For just a small moment, she forgot the stress she had felt, the anxiety lying deep within. Sure, she had thought she had found tranquility. But, it seemed so much more tangible with him near her. For a moment, she even almost forgot her strict reminder that they were only friends.

But the moment his voice resonated over the steady crashes of the wakes, Ayla knew something was amiss. Her brows came together almost instantly as she heard him stumble over his own words. Clear a few things... Her serene demeanor shattered, shoulders tensing vaguely beneath his hands as she frowned, eyes locked on the rolling waves. She wasn't completely satisfied with what she thought he might speak of, but the way he talked bothered her. He was so... hesitant all of a sudden. As his hands fell away from her shoulders and he spoke in a way that made absolutely no sense to her, Ayla felt a strange cringe in her heart. Slowly, she pushes away from the bow's railing and turns, letting her back lean against the rough wood. Her eyes find the man's face, though his gaze avoided hers. She remained quiet, even as the uncomfortable silence stretched between them at his hesitations. Oh, how she would give anything to be able to read his mind right now.

But the moment he began speaking again, Ayla quickly decided it was best she couldn't. Her brows come together sharply, faint surprise gradually tracing over her expression as she listens to his steady words. No comment from her interrupted him. No laugh, no sound.. Nothing. Aside from the surprise, Ayla showed no open reaction to his quiet words. Now, if only he could hear the sudden, pounding race of her heart. It beat a quickening crescendo against her chest as the elfess' chin falls, The surprise fading as his gaze lifts to find hers, searching eyes being returned with a calm stare.

"I never stopped from loving you."

For some unfathomable reason, that sentence both made her want to break down in tears and made her want to laugh 'til she could breathe no more. By the Gods, how she had longed to hear the words "I love you" spill from his lips. Yet, she hadn't forgotten why she had ran in the first place. The love they had so naively fallen for had shattered, had it not? So what was this he was doing? Was he saying that this so-called love was the only reason he came and nearly got himself and her killed? Now he was using the words she had yearned for the most. Yet, she had no idea... No idea how to respond. Dare she be a fool and return it once again?

With a heavy sigh, Ayla lifts her arms to wrap about her stomach tightly, shoulders hunched just slightly as she pulls against the gradual chill of the night again, her racing, skipping heart being so distracting. Her stare was broken, falling from his to land on the deck of the ship. Silence stretched taut between them as she tried desperately to get her thoughts straight.

Finally, after a long moment, she spoke in a cool voice.

"To love me as before... That... might mean something if I knew how much you did love me."

Slowly, she shakes her head, brows furrowing again. She was denying herself. She was denying... him.

"Why should I bother foolishly giving my heart to you again... Jorokar? The last.. I knew... Jorokar Sladrir was no more than a fickle man."

Hesitation. Her voice broke at the end of that sentence, throwing them back into that eerie silence. Her eyes fluttered closed, a faint grimace touching upon her face. If anyone was playing fickle right now, it was her, wasn't it? Aye... It was. If she was so indifferent to him saying he still loved her, why was her heart beating almost painfully against her chest? It didn't make sense. She couldn't say what she wanted to say for some reason. All she could do was lie to them both. Him and herself...

So why say anything?

The thought crossed almost in a haze over her mind. It rang with a strange feeling through her. Why? Why say anything? All she was doing was making it worse. Quickly, her eyes open again to stare blankly at the deck. Words amounted to nothing, anymore. She didn't want to tell him that yes, she still loved him too. Slowly, her arms uncross to fall to her sides, chin lifting to let her gaze find his. Without a second thought, the elfess steps forward, arms raising to his shoulders as she smoothly pulls herself against him in a soft, almost timid embrace. Her eyes close again, arms tightening as her head falls to rest on his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. She couldn't think of a way to tell him she still loved him for some reason. Nothing would come out right. So... Just maybe, he would get the single, underlying meaning of her sudden embrace.

She clung to him, the tension fading as silence echoed around them once more. Quietly, almost inaudible over the sound of the ocean, she mumbled just one thing that came to mind.

"Prove me wrong..."

She left it at that. He could speak, could say whatever was on his mind. She didn't care. She was perfectly content right then and there. The moonlight, the ocean, her arms wrapped about that man. It was so perfect, she simply wanted to laugh and wake herself from a dream. But this time around, it wasn't. She simply hoped that this time around, the dream didn't turn to a nightmare. How shattered she would be...

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:14 pm
by abcfantasy
Tension, anxiety, worry... Such were the feelings that dwelled inside Jorokar while he waited for her to reply or to at least show some kind of reaction. The lengthened stillness that settled between the two did not at all help with his nervousness. He really wished both would immediately go through all this without these hardships and stressing moments. But clearly, that was far from reality.

Jorokar felt the slightest relief the moment that Ayla finally spoke. However, that small feeling that mildly relaxed his pressure was even shattered soon again, just after hearing her words. He was literally shocked to hear those things said from her lips, even though he tried to hide that significant surprise. He felt like his heart had completely stopped beating in that instant, it was like everything around suddenly froze, the time flow coming to a halt. His heart was suddenly pressed hard with the heavy weight of her claims.


"Why should I bother foolishly giving my heart to you again?"

"Jorokar Sladrir was no more than a fickle man."

Those statements that were more of controversies for him echoed over and over again in his mind, tormenting him continuously. They made him regret what he did now and regret the fact that he wanted to know her answer. They made him feel ill at ease in that silent moment that seemed to last an eternity. The perturbed man couldn’t help to avoid the pessimistic thoughts that slowly evolved in his mind. Perhaps, it was better to leave it all and forget everything. Perhaps, it could have been all better if they both walked through different roads, him on Gobaith, and her on Paleonth.

"If I only knew she would say that, I…"

"You what? What would you have done if you knew? Answer that!"

It was as if another person, another voice interrupted his own thoughts, or better, challenged them. Probably, even if he knew she would react like this, he would not yield to his hopes, and most likely still give it a chance. She meant so much to him that he would never accept losing her, never. This made him pretty much a fool, since it was himself who caused the breakdown of the two, it was him who caused the loss of her trust. But he was a human after all, although luckily, humans could learn from their own mistakes.

Yes, he learned now. He will keep insisting, and not let his negative thoughts take over. And he should tell her that, now. Tell her with determination, show his perseverence. However, before he could have even said something, he was interrupted with her movements. With a blink of confusion, he watched her how she placed those gentle hands upon his shoulders, how she approached him smoothly and how she quietly laid her head on his shoulder. Now he felt dubious if she really rejected him or not. He was doubtful of what she meant and wanted. Maybe, she realized the harshness of her words and how weighty they felt for his heart, and now she wanted to soften that sensation, and show him she didn’t mean it. But he was so perplexed that he couldn’t make out any definite answer.

In fact, stuck in his bewilderment and uncertainty, he remained still during that delicate embrace, staring vacantly over her shoulder with his widened eyes, expressing a disconcerted feeling. He didn’t reply to that hold for the moment, he was too focused in his cogitations to manage any reactions.

It was her following quiet murmur, "Prove me wrong", that drove Jorokar out of his thoughts in an instant, only to find himself helpless again to understand her clearly and react accordingly. It seemed all too complex for him, all too complicated. But now he knew that he had to go all through these troubles since, he felt, they were a kind of punishment to what he had done in the past. Just how could he prove her wrong? He couldn’t prove it with words, or in just that day. It needed time and his actions would eventually show that.

Finally calmed down from the frantic confusion that was battling in his mind, he pressed slightly forward and slithered his arms along her waist and round to her back, the inescapable hesitation in his movements only negligible. He closed his eyes and inclined his head a little downwards, prolonging that replied, tender hug for further moments before he spoke slowly and clearly, his voice fairly firm as well.


"Give me the chance, please, Ayla, and time will prove you wrong. I promise."

Silence reigned again after that, but it was not at all disturbing. He too was content to have her in his arms, and feel her warm breath diffusing along the skin of his neck, so close she was. Gradually becoming aware of these loving sensations, he whispered more words, but there was a change in his voice. There was a clear hint of plead and desperation in it, which he not at all attempted to hide. It was as if he almost cried whilst uttering those words that loitered in his heart.

"Ayla...Please, I want you back with me. I want you by my side, always. I…I promise, I will never leave your side, never again. I…”

A quick, not too loud sniff stopped him abruptly, but his eyes still as yet shed no tears. Before he continued, he tightened his grasp around her as the once-again nervousness spread through his veins and his muscles.

"I love you, Ayla."

"I love you."


His voice was fading out, and his last repetition was so hushed and quiet that it barely held any voice in it. It was desperation that caused that. Yes, he was so obviously desperate to have her back, he now didn’t even attempt to let himself appear strong, or steady in his thoughts. He just…wanted her.

Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:05 am
by Ayla
“Prove me wrong” she had said. Prove her wrong. How? How did she want him to prove her wrong? That day upon the island of which they slowly made their way toward had shattered all honest, loving trust she had held for that man. She might have jumped to conclusions, she might have taken things out of context, but Ayla could not change her heart and the underlying pain it had writhed in for the past months. So many innumerable times had she told herself that he was not worth the trouble; it had become lodged in her mind and soul alike. Ayla could not simply drop it at that. Aye, he had traipsed across ocean and battlegrounds for this sweet moment right now, but it did not settle her like it should have.

What was she expecting from this mere human? Ayla didn’t know herself. She asked him to prove himself and yet she knew not what it would take. What had she wanted? For him to drop to one knee and confess his eternal love? To drag her down with him and make love to her like their lives depended on it? No, she wasn’t asking for this. She was fantasizing. Desperation sent her thoughts spiraling into what she wanted. His love. She wanted to accept it, to know that this time, it was real. To know that nothing so petty as a pretty girl walking by would sway his desires. To know that never again would he break her like he had. She wanted him to prove that it was her that he wanted, her that he needed and she wanted him to make her realize it was he that she needed as well. An impossible task, it seemed. If only she knew that he would be willing to overcome that impossibility.

Ayla remained frozen, completely still in her position. The only change was her chin drawing in, a faint grimace crossing over her worn features as a salt-laden ocean breeze rolled over the side of the boat, hitting the two. In that same moment, Ayla felt the sensation of hands gradually slipping about her waist, pulling her just slightly closer. Her hands tighten instinctively about his shoulders as he returns the warm embrace, letting herself be lulled into a sense of serenity, the motion of the boat, the cold breeze, his warmth against her all playing into the sensation. She even had half a mind to block his voice, finding bliss in the quiet monotony of waves and wind.

But she couldn’t. His firm voice rang clear, despite being so quiet. Give him the chance… He was asking for a chance? Ayla remembered. She had told him, once before, that she would give him another chance. It made her sound controlling, as if he was purely at fault for everything. Yet, he still asked for that chance. And she hesitated?

By the Gods above, Ayla… You’re only making it worse.

Her thoughts sounded half frantic. She was the one not simply playing along, why was she worried? Afraid of saying something to lose him again? Of doing something to break that delicate moment? What?

His quiet voice that so gradually broke her flailing thoughts sent Ayla’s heart pounding again. It had changed, and the way it had changed thoroughly scared her. It was… weak. The man that always acted so damn high and mighty was allowing himself to appear… weak… desperate. It frightened her.

And yet, what he said made that fright waver. She remained still in his arms, the tension in her fading steadily. All she could do was listen to his pleading voice, to the words she had so yearned to hear. His promise, his wish, everything. It made her completely forget her situation, what had happened in the past months, where they were heading, everything. She felt herself almost willing to let everything go, utterly satisfied with what he said.

So, what was she doing? Ayla found herself slowly, gently pushing away from him, hand sliding to his chest. Palms flat, she distanced herself from him just slightly, eyes downcast and face solemn. With a heavy sigh, Ayla let her eyes find her hands, which curled into fists, lightly grasping the tunic he wore. After a long, hesitant moment, she spoke in turn. Her voice was weary, evident that she was tired and worn. With a look of something almost on the lines of pain, she was heard.

” I… love you too, Jorokar. I always have. A... And… It’s been nothing but torture, lately.”

Her voice wavered, daring to break as she hesitated, grimacing. It all seemed to be sounding wrong. She didn’t know how she wanted him to take what she said. She was confused at her own words. With another tired sigh, she let her hands drop flat to her sides, eyes closing for a brief moment.

” I… Don’t take it that… You’re n…”

It was her turn, huh? Her turn to ramble with no sense. Shaking her head, Ayla stepped back. She was tired, she didn’t feel like dealing with this anymore. With but a brief look to him, Ayla tried to give him a smile, something to make him know that her words didn’t… mean what they sounded they did. The smile wavered, though, and all she could do was turn and walk off, back toward the ladder leading below-deck. As she walked away, Ayla closed her eyes tightly, a hand rising to rub her head. Was this just all such a damn surprise to her? Yes, frankly she had expected Jorokar to have never bothered with her again. She had this way of making things far more difficult than she had intended, and Ayla had really thought the man would have given up. Seeing him here, now, speaking as he did had startled her and all she found herself able to do was… push him away. Eyes opening again, a distressed look in them, Ayla clambered down the stairs and moved to the door of the cramped room they were to share for the rest of the trip.

Pursing her lips, a faintly strangled sound coming from her, Ayla collapsed onto the dreary bed, the hand that had been plastered on her forehead moving to run through her hair nervously. Then, she just again shook her head and fell back to lay down fully. One knee propped up, Ayla let her gaze travel over the rough ceiling, the bed rocking with each wave moving the ship.

Eyes fluttering closed again, the elfess quietly prayed to whatever God might listen that the rest of the short journey would not see the two stammering and trying to make sense of one another. Even now, it bothered her. She couldn’t… She couldn’t sort everything out anymore. Letting her head fall to the side, facing the wall of the ship, Ayla let one weary thought tread across her mind.

Gods, damn us all…

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 12:52 am
by abcfantasy
It was her first words that caused a comforting relief to thrive inside Jorokar. Even with that fatigued voice of hers, they were still magical enough to soothe his desperation and ease his nervousness. They were enough to make him feel a sudden inflammation of torrid passions. He had a sprouting desire for a profound and amatory embrace; an embrace that’s tighter than ever before and that would last an eternity. Have her held firmly in his unyielding arms, completely detached from the rest of the world. He had a fiery craving to experience a close intimacy between the two, to go through moments of passion and amorousness. Yes, deep inside, he wanted all that, but his body betrayed him. He just couldn’t do any more than that now-loosened hug that they were in.

Fear. That was the reason for his incapability of showing his wants. Fear of rushing, of doing the wrong act, of misunderstanding and fear of losing. They all were adamant fears, which were only aggravated with her further curtailed speech, with no sense grasped in it. How he disliked unfinished sentences. He had utterly no idea of what she wanted to say, or of what roamed about her mind. But he remained quiet and still, in hope to soon listen to her continuing.

It was to his great disappointment to see her slowly press away from him, releasing herself from the light grasp of his arms. He was most reluctant to let her go, yet he found himself helpless to prevent her from doing so. With disbelieving eyes and lips silently parted, he watched her take a step clear of him and soon finding her way to the stairs. He was left speechless at that all-too sudden behaviour, leaving the spot without ending their conversation and really resolving their situation. It let those enigmatic thoughts and unsolvable confusions to protrude in his mind again, abolishing the little pleasing relief he had felt earlier. Damn it all, now even anger rose in him. When he seemed so close to achieving his greatest wish, he was driven away again, as if some sort of barrier blocked his way to the realization of his hopes, his way to happiness.

Then again, he too was consumed from all these long ventures, of which consisted of both physical and emotional exertion. Similar to her, weariness and exhaustion was overtaking his body, and in fact, there was no place for that anger to have any effect. He just gave it a few minutes before trailing after her, down the stairs and quietly into their room. He only gave her a brief glimpse before he carefully laid on his own unmade bed, trying to be as silent as possible. He flipped on his side to avoid her sight by giving her his back, and soon let his eyes come to a close. Nonetheless, she was still not completely out of his view. Within that blackness, he saw one hazy, distanced image. It was the picture of her face, with that last, little wavering smile she had managed. It was just that picture and nothing else that accompanied him into his lonesome slumber.

A long and needed sleep it was.

And silence reigned the darkened rooms of the ship.

And the vessel swayed as it confronted those ocean waves.

And the sails rumbled as the winds collided against them.

And an obscure spectacle of an island was finally traceable on the horizon.

And the end of the two’s journey at last queued unknowingly behind their sleep.

Gobaith it was.

And back they were.