Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:02 pm
The chill that was progressively tinting the night wind beat inadvertently against Ayla as she stood to the bow of the ship. Each diminutive draft of wind sent a faint quiver through her as the coolness passed through the little protection of that black tunic bearing the gold emblem of Paleonth. The elfess paid little attention to the goose bumps over her arms as her mind dwelled on far more pressing matters. Gradually, she pulled back from the rail to wrap her arms about her stomach, shoulders hunched and chin dropped against the wind as her eyes fluttered closed again. Her mind raced with fatigued thoughts, trying to sort out the confusion of everything that had been going on. In the span of a sheer three months, so much had happened to her, had worn her down. Running from Gobiath, getting caught up in a violent war, Jorokar appearing out of what seemed thin air, and now fleeing on this ship. Summed up, it didn’t seem just a whole lot. But altogether, it was incredible that she had kept her sanity throughout it all.
With eyes closed tight and the breezes and deafening waves being all she could hear, Ayla didn’t notice her deliberate, quietly advancing company. She was completely unaware, oblivious of anything aside from the sharp, pungent smell of salty air and the perpetual crescendo of water against wood while the ship cut smoothly through each cresting wave. The steady rise and fall of the ship’s nose lulled the elfess into a weary state, driving the tension from her shoulders as she allowed herself to become wrapped up in that serene calm, something she had not experienced in a long while.
The relaxing tranquility was shattered when Ayla was pulled abruptly from her oblivion by the feeling of strong hands setting gently on her shoulders. The unexpected feeling caused her eyes to fly open, the elfess looking quickly over one shoulder to catch a glimpse of who it was that had stirred her from her thoughts. The tension that had faded returned the moment she had been startled out of her musings. Who she had expected behind her, she really didn’t know. But, it seemed to be a relief to her when she realized just who it was. Staring over her shoulder to Jorokar for a brief moment, Ayla pursed her lips before looking back, her weary gaze traveling back over the slow waves. Her arms uncrossed about her stomach to return to the rail, elbows resting against the rough wood. His hands on her shoulders comforted her, oddly enough. For just a small moment, she forgot the stress she had felt, the anxiety lying deep within. Sure, she had thought she had found tranquility. But, it seemed so much more tangible with him near her. For a moment, she even almost forgot her strict reminder that they were only friends.
But the moment his voice resonated over the steady crashes of the wakes, Ayla knew something was amiss. Her brows came together almost instantly as she heard him stumble over his own words. Clear a few things... Her serene demeanor shattered, shoulders tensing vaguely beneath his hands as she frowned, eyes locked on the rolling waves. She wasn't completely satisfied with what she thought he might speak of, but the way he talked bothered her. He was so... hesitant all of a sudden. As his hands fell away from her shoulders and he spoke in a way that made absolutely no sense to her, Ayla felt a strange cringe in her heart. Slowly, she pushes away from the bow's railing and turns, letting her back lean against the rough wood. Her eyes find the man's face, though his gaze avoided hers. She remained quiet, even as the uncomfortable silence stretched between them at his hesitations. Oh, how she would give anything to be able to read his mind right now.
But the moment he began speaking again, Ayla quickly decided it was best she couldn't. Her brows come together sharply, faint surprise gradually tracing over her expression as she listens to his steady words. No comment from her interrupted him. No laugh, no sound.. Nothing. Aside from the surprise, Ayla showed no open reaction to his quiet words. Now, if only he could hear the sudden, pounding race of her heart. It beat a quickening crescendo against her chest as the elfess' chin falls, The surprise fading as his gaze lifts to find hers, searching eyes being returned with a calm stare.
"I never stopped from loving you."
For some unfathomable reason, that sentence both made her want to break down in tears and made her want to laugh 'til she could breathe no more. By the Gods, how she had longed to hear the words "I love you" spill from his lips. Yet, she hadn't forgotten why she had ran in the first place. The love they had so naively fallen for had shattered, had it not? So what was this he was doing? Was he saying that this so-called love was the only reason he came and nearly got himself and her killed? Now he was using the words she had yearned for the most. Yet, she had no idea... No idea how to respond. Dare she be a fool and return it once again?
With a heavy sigh, Ayla lifts her arms to wrap about her stomach tightly, shoulders hunched just slightly as she pulls against the gradual chill of the night again, her racing, skipping heart being so distracting. Her stare was broken, falling from his to land on the deck of the ship. Silence stretched taut between them as she tried desperately to get her thoughts straight.
Finally, after a long moment, she spoke in a cool voice.
"To love me as before... That... might mean something if I knew how much you did love me."
Slowly, she shakes her head, brows furrowing again. She was denying herself. She was denying... him.
"Why should I bother foolishly giving my heart to you again... Jorokar? The last.. I knew... Jorokar Sladrir was no more than a fickle man."
Hesitation. Her voice broke at the end of that sentence, throwing them back into that eerie silence. Her eyes fluttered closed, a faint grimace touching upon her face. If anyone was playing fickle right now, it was her, wasn't it? Aye... It was. If she was so indifferent to him saying he still loved her, why was her heart beating almost painfully against her chest? It didn't make sense. She couldn't say what she wanted to say for some reason. All she could do was lie to them both. Him and herself...
So why say anything?
The thought crossed almost in a haze over her mind. It rang with a strange feeling through her. Why? Why say anything? All she was doing was making it worse. Quickly, her eyes open again to stare blankly at the deck. Words amounted to nothing, anymore. She didn't want to tell him that yes, she still loved him too. Slowly, her arms uncross to fall to her sides, chin lifting to let her gaze find his. Without a second thought, the elfess steps forward, arms raising to his shoulders as she smoothly pulls herself against him in a soft, almost timid embrace. Her eyes close again, arms tightening as her head falls to rest on his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. She couldn't think of a way to tell him she still loved him for some reason. Nothing would come out right. So... Just maybe, he would get the single, underlying meaning of her sudden embrace.
She clung to him, the tension fading as silence echoed around them once more. Quietly, almost inaudible over the sound of the ocean, she mumbled just one thing that came to mind.
"Prove me wrong..."
She left it at that. He could speak, could say whatever was on his mind. She didn't care. She was perfectly content right then and there. The moonlight, the ocean, her arms wrapped about that man. It was so perfect, she simply wanted to laugh and wake herself from a dream. But this time around, it wasn't. She simply hoped that this time around, the dream didn't turn to a nightmare. How shattered she would be...
With eyes closed tight and the breezes and deafening waves being all she could hear, Ayla didn’t notice her deliberate, quietly advancing company. She was completely unaware, oblivious of anything aside from the sharp, pungent smell of salty air and the perpetual crescendo of water against wood while the ship cut smoothly through each cresting wave. The steady rise and fall of the ship’s nose lulled the elfess into a weary state, driving the tension from her shoulders as she allowed herself to become wrapped up in that serene calm, something she had not experienced in a long while.
The relaxing tranquility was shattered when Ayla was pulled abruptly from her oblivion by the feeling of strong hands setting gently on her shoulders. The unexpected feeling caused her eyes to fly open, the elfess looking quickly over one shoulder to catch a glimpse of who it was that had stirred her from her thoughts. The tension that had faded returned the moment she had been startled out of her musings. Who she had expected behind her, she really didn’t know. But, it seemed to be a relief to her when she realized just who it was. Staring over her shoulder to Jorokar for a brief moment, Ayla pursed her lips before looking back, her weary gaze traveling back over the slow waves. Her arms uncrossed about her stomach to return to the rail, elbows resting against the rough wood. His hands on her shoulders comforted her, oddly enough. For just a small moment, she forgot the stress she had felt, the anxiety lying deep within. Sure, she had thought she had found tranquility. But, it seemed so much more tangible with him near her. For a moment, she even almost forgot her strict reminder that they were only friends.
But the moment his voice resonated over the steady crashes of the wakes, Ayla knew something was amiss. Her brows came together almost instantly as she heard him stumble over his own words. Clear a few things... Her serene demeanor shattered, shoulders tensing vaguely beneath his hands as she frowned, eyes locked on the rolling waves. She wasn't completely satisfied with what she thought he might speak of, but the way he talked bothered her. He was so... hesitant all of a sudden. As his hands fell away from her shoulders and he spoke in a way that made absolutely no sense to her, Ayla felt a strange cringe in her heart. Slowly, she pushes away from the bow's railing and turns, letting her back lean against the rough wood. Her eyes find the man's face, though his gaze avoided hers. She remained quiet, even as the uncomfortable silence stretched between them at his hesitations. Oh, how she would give anything to be able to read his mind right now.
But the moment he began speaking again, Ayla quickly decided it was best she couldn't. Her brows come together sharply, faint surprise gradually tracing over her expression as she listens to his steady words. No comment from her interrupted him. No laugh, no sound.. Nothing. Aside from the surprise, Ayla showed no open reaction to his quiet words. Now, if only he could hear the sudden, pounding race of her heart. It beat a quickening crescendo against her chest as the elfess' chin falls, The surprise fading as his gaze lifts to find hers, searching eyes being returned with a calm stare.
"I never stopped from loving you."
For some unfathomable reason, that sentence both made her want to break down in tears and made her want to laugh 'til she could breathe no more. By the Gods, how she had longed to hear the words "I love you" spill from his lips. Yet, she hadn't forgotten why she had ran in the first place. The love they had so naively fallen for had shattered, had it not? So what was this he was doing? Was he saying that this so-called love was the only reason he came and nearly got himself and her killed? Now he was using the words she had yearned for the most. Yet, she had no idea... No idea how to respond. Dare she be a fool and return it once again?
With a heavy sigh, Ayla lifts her arms to wrap about her stomach tightly, shoulders hunched just slightly as she pulls against the gradual chill of the night again, her racing, skipping heart being so distracting. Her stare was broken, falling from his to land on the deck of the ship. Silence stretched taut between them as she tried desperately to get her thoughts straight.
Finally, after a long moment, she spoke in a cool voice.
"To love me as before... That... might mean something if I knew how much you did love me."
Slowly, she shakes her head, brows furrowing again. She was denying herself. She was denying... him.
"Why should I bother foolishly giving my heart to you again... Jorokar? The last.. I knew... Jorokar Sladrir was no more than a fickle man."
Hesitation. Her voice broke at the end of that sentence, throwing them back into that eerie silence. Her eyes fluttered closed, a faint grimace touching upon her face. If anyone was playing fickle right now, it was her, wasn't it? Aye... It was. If she was so indifferent to him saying he still loved her, why was her heart beating almost painfully against her chest? It didn't make sense. She couldn't say what she wanted to say for some reason. All she could do was lie to them both. Him and herself...
So why say anything?
The thought crossed almost in a haze over her mind. It rang with a strange feeling through her. Why? Why say anything? All she was doing was making it worse. Quickly, her eyes open again to stare blankly at the deck. Words amounted to nothing, anymore. She didn't want to tell him that yes, she still loved him too. Slowly, her arms uncross to fall to her sides, chin lifting to let her gaze find his. Without a second thought, the elfess steps forward, arms raising to his shoulders as she smoothly pulls herself against him in a soft, almost timid embrace. Her eyes close again, arms tightening as her head falls to rest on his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. She couldn't think of a way to tell him she still loved him for some reason. Nothing would come out right. So... Just maybe, he would get the single, underlying meaning of her sudden embrace.
She clung to him, the tension fading as silence echoed around them once more. Quietly, almost inaudible over the sound of the ocean, she mumbled just one thing that came to mind.
"Prove me wrong..."
She left it at that. He could speak, could say whatever was on his mind. She didn't care. She was perfectly content right then and there. The moonlight, the ocean, her arms wrapped about that man. It was so perfect, she simply wanted to laugh and wake herself from a dream. But this time around, it wasn't. She simply hoped that this time around, the dream didn't turn to a nightmare. How shattered she would be...