Gatherings of the Bald Ones/Scriptures of The Elves

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:43 pm

These elves shave themselves each hour, on the hour. They are of the holiest of holy elves. Almost as holy as a lizard.

~Brer Beothach~

Korm Kormsen · Post by **Korm Kormsen** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:45 pm

if a man starts thinking, the hair starts to wander.
it makes room for the thoughts.
it goes down and protects the mouth from unwise words.

old barbarian truthsaying....

might it be, that the maybe existent Mr. Elderberry has lots of hair above the ears with a clean shaved face?

- a very thoughtfull barbarian-

Fooser · Post by **Fooser** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:47 pm

"Lizard, being creatures of the sea, have no hair at all. That being said, it is quite clear they are on a greater level than most others. For they need not shave at all to be bald."
-Roachala Vanaclip

And so it was.

F

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:47 pm

And it is true, I was a lizard for a week or so. It twas the best week of my life and I learned much from it.

~Brer Beothach~

Korm Kormsen · Post by **Korm Kormsen** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:52 pm

hummmm......
by that criteria barbarians must be half a level above elves.
after wearing a horned helmet for a couple of years there are no hair on the head left for shaving....

-a unthought-of thoughtfull barbarian-

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 8:53 pm

Yes, I was blessed today as well. Silas gave a nice scorching to my head and I feel the hair is all gone!

~Brer Beothach~

Korm Kormsen · Post by **Korm Kormsen** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:45 pm

scorched?

you should apply some bee's wax.
gives you a nice intelectual shiny surface. instantly!

-a thoughts thinking barbarian-

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:00 am

"And the wiseman spake the spoken words, 'and the Jelly of Retlak shall be feasted on for days'. He dipped his silver spoon in the yellow jelly and ate"

From the Book of Anhari Herbis, Verse 203.

The prophesy is coming true!

~Brer Beothach~

Korm Kormsen · Post by **Korm Kormsen** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 4:31 am

are you sure, that you have not been cheated?
the jelly of redlak should not be yellowish i think....

-a hardthinking barbarian-

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:56 pm

I have his dust and ashes right on my fingers, I've scraped them from the floor.

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:03 pm

"And we shall feast on the hair for 3 moons worth until our stomaches itch! Let it be known that we must feast to live and live to feast. Everyone, gather round and grab your sheers, the hair will flow with jelly!"

From the Book of Anfur Faul, verse 1,203.

Everyone, prepare to feast and eat your hair if you wish to live. Send your clippings to me, we must feast for three moons!

~Brer Beothach~

AlexRose · Post by **AlexRose** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:04 pm

You will never get my hair, Beothach.

~William Elderberry~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:05 pm

Just a snipping to feed from it, it is all I need!

~Brer Beothach~

AlexRose · Post by **AlexRose** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:06 pm

You will never get ANY of my hair, Beothach.

~William Elderberry~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:08 pm

"Hair doth grow, tis the nature of evil, so our stomaches shall never be empty. Let the naysayers bloom into feasts of delights and soon the razor will harvest their fruit. We will never starve! We will never go hungry!"

From the Book of Egalia Tete, Verse 2

Your hair will grow and you must trim it! I will eat it!

~Brer Beothach~

AlexRose · Post by **AlexRose** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:11 pm

My hair will grow, yes. And when I do trim it; I'll make sure to burn it so you can never consume it, you disgusting man.

~William Elderberry~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:13 pm

"Do not spare a bit, from fire comes ash and from ash comes stew. Let the ash thicken and let the stew form, a feast is more than one dish!"

From the Book of Smolicus Malahi, verse 5

As you can see, the ancient books have answers to all your attempts to foil us. We are perfect, we are bald!

~Brer Beothach~

AlexRose · Post by **AlexRose** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:17 pm

"And in the year of the bald ones who try to eat the halfelf's hair will come a great thunderstorm which will kill their elves, the leader, the lizard and destroy the sibanac. The halfelf hero will live on to fulfil his life with his hair firmly attached to his head and all his hair clippings will instantaneously be destroyed."

~The ancient book of Hangloth 25:6-14~

I will throw the ash into the volcano at Hellbriar.

~William Elderberry~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:19 pm

"And a fool named William Elderberry will one day enter our realms. His hair is long in his soul and his books shall be false. His hair will flow in molten lava and will thicken the land you walk on. You must eat the dirt to consume his hair!"

From the Book of Pipalia Lit, Verse 1

We understand your tricks and shall eat the earth to fool you!

~Brer Beothach~

AlexRose · Post by **AlexRose** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:21 pm

Be my guest. Eat the soil.

~William Elderberry~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:21 pm

And I shall, for your tricks cannot fool you. The feast will continue.

~Brer Beothach~

Korm Kormsen · Post by **Korm Kormsen** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:25 pm

We are perfect, we are bald!

not only that, i even dare to say, "We are perfectly bald!"

-a painfull thinking barbarian-

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:26 pm

Indeed, another wise insight from our barbarian. We announce now for those in the know who wish to join our congregrated congregration, a dove is fine.

The sun will rise and be prepared, for the light must reflect of your head if you are to be saved.

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 4:44 am

Hark! New news of the new kind. We have found a new scripture of the 26th elf, his name is Bluish Red the elf! He gives great insight on a forgotten creature!

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:13 pm

More research is being looked into, and Bluish Green is very foreboding. Dirty laundry and beasts of odd colors!

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Mon Feb 05, 2007 1:24 am

The scripts have been translated from the ancient elvorcish language of fate!

It reads as follows:

"And he shall eateth the socketh from the dirty feets of hairy ones, where the sweat of the oldeth collects. Crusted in oils, seasoned in perspirant, cooked in shoes, soaked in salted sweats, and tenderized by the corny feet!

And he shall walk amongst the town when the moon is full, for three days and nigh a year! He shall raid thy shoes and steal thy socks from thy feet of thy legs which extend to thy body which extend to thy head and he shall pray for you. He shall take the socks and shove them in his mouth, sucking what juices remain!

Swallowing one by one, he will offer the hairless the morsels which dribble from his mouth and they shall feast for five hours on them, chewing the firm meat of the feet.

After the feast is finished, the troll will stand up and gaze at his followers. The troll will bellow and beckon and reckon as such. He will dance and dance by the light of the moon, by the light of the fire, on the light of the mire, rolling down to the shire. He shall speak, he shall spoke, he shall spit, he shall smoke. He shall dance and dance and dance. He shall dance and dance and dance.

And when he leaves us with his presence still high in the air of the crisp night in the mid of Mas, in the mid of Elos, in the mid of all. In the middle he shall stay and in the middle he will say:

'I am the troll, the troll that does dance. I am the troll, the troll that does Prance! I am the troll that doth eat the socks, I am the troll that doesn't rhyme! I am the pink, the purple, the blue. I am in each and everyone of everyone. I am the green and all these combine!

I am the Prancing Magenta Troll of Madness, and I command!

Let the socks be dirty and let the feet be bare, fill my mouth with the pugent stench of the filthy! Fill my mouth the socks, fill my feet with the beat!

Let us prance!'

He left out the gates, prancing away and down through the hills out of sight, out of mind. He would return, when our feet were ripe."

From the Book of Bluish Red the Elf.

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Mon Feb 05, 2007 4:56 am

From the Book of Quadpedia Leche:

"See the black sun rise, from the solar lodge and bow down from the heavens your heads you shall quell the waters of fire from the eternal sea which spreads to the infintesimal borders that the realm of consciousness lay between. For it is here where we may remove ourselves from the temporal reality which conquers the golden sun in the east, opposite of west, near the north and south. Here we may lay down with the lamb and the sheep near the seagulls which waste will trickle down the stones of eternity!

Oh, let us ponder what fear can do as a catalyst to crystallise the mind and body of a cow, with meat so tender your teeth can sink in as if butter. The bland taste of butter on your tongue, reminds us of what needs to be done!

So, let it be done!"

~Brer Beothach~

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 4:34 am

From the Book of Paritus Pie, on the meaning of life:

"The vocal chords or the strings of new life in which brew shall be smoldering in a pot of boiling water. From it, the water will burst henceforth into the newest life, and he shall have crossed eyes. For the first time, he will see, and he will sing. His chords will be mangled and truth will spill forth like the smoldering pot of boiling water. So shall his eyes be crossed.

In due time, the man will grow and his eyes will spread apart, as wide as the sea of hope. When there is no hope left, the eyes will be dry and the man will once again understand why there is no cheese left in the horse's hooves.

The cheese is gone by the pig, who sucks life from the deer, which rabbits do climb upon to feast on the innards. The man's eyes are like this! The man's eyes are split in fourth and from here he shall make four.

Four i's. i,ii,iii,iiii they shall be named, and these eyes are planted into the ground to sprout the largest cornstalk ever. I, II, III, IIII will be their names, and they shall henceforth become children with crossed eyes and vocal chords and spurt truth.

This is the meaning of life! This is how children are born!"

~Brer Beothach~

Grant · Post by **Grant** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 4:54 am

I am sure you made a mistake in paragraph four, you should check it again.

Grant Rothman

Cliu Beothach · Post by **Cliu Beothach** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 5:09 am

It could be you are mistaken with Pie Paritus and his skriptvm revertvm, which indeed is very similar.

An honest mistake.

~Brer Beothach~