First of all i am sorry that i disapeared suddenly some time ago. I have to leave the community and Illarion because of OOC reasons. I wont come back for many months if ever, thou maybe a ghost of me will come and visit you from time to time and see how you are doing. I already miss you all and the good times we had together.
I want to thank you all for everything you ever done for me. Also i want to tell you, especially the memebers of the community, that i did one last thing for you. I passed all the treassures of the community to Kalypse. I hope you can spend it well and soon, i.e. for the Elven Shelter.
I wish you all and the community good luck, a peaceful and joyful living. My spirit is with you my friends.
Yes, Teesh has done a great favor for us. I would like to say, just as curiosity for those who might be wondering, that right now the community has around 500 silver ingots although they might not be used any time soon considering the inability of building anything at the moment. I also have some goods that one of our merchants could try and sell, so tell me if you can help me with these... that is the first announcement.
As a second thing, I would really like to say that something today made me very happy!! I proudly announce that Elaralith has become one of our members and also I have made her the community advisor, for she will be helping me to improve the community from now on. I have asked before that you would let me know your opinions regarding the community and now I am asking once again. Elaralith is helping me now but the more ideas the better.
Right now we are thinking of dividing the community into smaller sections, which would be craftsmen, wizards, farmers, priests and rangers. Each of those would have a purpose inside the community as in protection, resources, sharing our beliefs and so on. This is the general idea and I want to know how you feel about this. Please let me know as soon as you can.
oh! another thing...
I will be searching for the members of the community in Illarion... there are some on the members list that are noted as inactive. I wish to know if they are still with us or not, so here is one thought... if I don´t have news from them either here or in Troll´s Bane for long I will be forced to take their names off the list. So please, if any of you see each other let me know.
#me walks up to the board wearing nothing but his jewellery.
Sorry Hermie, I'm afraid there isn't one, unless there is but its just too small, but if there isn't why dont you start one? I think it would be great!
PS -to everyone- Accept my nudity, it's who I am now.
Kalypse-
I am aware that this isn't exactly the place to post this message...but it is imperitive that I talk with you. I want to tell you about the goings on as to why I have had so many strange actions as of late...Please, meet me at the tavern..((anywhere from 2:45 pm to 5:00 pm Pacific Time Zone))Please..let me explain..I will be waiting.
Cain, I am sorry that I couldn´t be there today, but I had a few other issues to attend to ((it´s my father´s birthday, so please forgive me, nothing personal)). I would be happy to meet you anytime soon and talk, I want to talk to you myself because I don´t like any misunderstandings between any of us members, much else between me and my dear good friends. Please forgive me for not being there.
Korwin, I won´t talk much about it right now because....hmm...well... because... ick.. can´t talk right now..hihi.. but don´t worry, my dear friend... first things come first...hihi.. everything has it´s place and time to happen.
Kalypse-
It is alright. I understand((Its perfectly understandable about the birthday thing)). I actually meant sometime during this week. It may be imperitive...but it can be held off for as long as it needs to be. Please forgive me if my message was too...demanding in appearance..I would not want to rush you if you are busy. You are quite possibly the closest friend I have...I would never want to rush you. Take care in the mean time.
Khanor- Hey, dont worry about the nudity thing too much, its a personal lifestyle change that you obviously decided to make. If people have a problem with it..then that's their problem, right?
Greetings members of the Community of Guilds, I bring you news that I, son of Khanor Faenohan, and a small group of my friends have captured the creature Faenohan my father has turned into, and we shall be taking him back to his homeland to seek a cure for him. I bid you all good day, Saturnir.
As most of you know already, I am going to get married to Lanthromire soon, but there are lots and lots of arrangements for me to think about and to make it real. But the real reason I am posting this is to ask if there are any artists within our community with painting abilities... if so, please tell me as soon as possible.
Thank you.
@Kalypse and all members of the Elven Community
I have another idea for the Elven Community, I propose that we have a section at our address(webpage) which is our "shop" so to speak. At this guild shop we could sell things members have made and the money could go towards various plans of the Community. Tell me what you think all!
@Kalypse
Also about your lovely wedding...When shall it be? Give me a date please and we can modidy on that date according to when we are all not busy in RL.
i have the feeling that this small note will not reach you now - that you have gone already, but still in time it may reach you - this i hope. true - we haven´t met, it seems like in centuries. nevertheless i want to tell you that i wish you all the best in your future ways. to me you were one of those one would never want to lose - simply a worthy member of the illarion community.
@Kalypse:
My Dear Friend!
due to this unbelievable act of hackerism into Cosma´s account i will not be able to reach you for some time - only the gods know how long it will take until the day, that morgaine will be able to walk the ground of illarion. you have surely read about it in the general topic thread - now that i have applied for the e-mail account thing morgaine is banned from illarion until it is safe for her to return - and just today i have read that bror is on the move again and won´t be settled until november 8th - i wonder if it will take THAT long for morgaine to wait. and yes - morgaine is still eager to take up some place in the community and do her best to serve the elven community the best she can. by the way - i have gone through your wedding ceremonial that you have sent to me and i must confess that it is great - i really enjoyed reading through it - now morgaine has to study all that she has to say and do. it somehow reminds me of the (BIG EDIT ) ways - besides... today seems my lucky day - morgaine found her way back to illarion again
Last edited by Morgaine Le Fay on Sat Oct 26, 2002 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
@ Elaralith:
I am very happy to see your concern over the community and must confess that I myself have been feeling a little lost now that Liriel is not with us that often. It feels a little lonely and brings me a lot of responsability because of the community. I have been feeling happier in the last few days though because now I have you and Morgaine and my beloved Lanthromire willing to help me keep it. I hope that after my wedding I have enough time to think about everything concerning the community. About the inside shop... it may be a good idea, but before thinking over it a little more I would like to make one question here for everybody of the community to give their own opinion because i believe this is one important decision:
To All Members of the community: where do you believe to be the best place for us to meet? The reason I ask this question is that although we have no possibilities of having a building of our own I believe that, for us elves, it wouldn't be a problem if we just chose some nice spot on a forest to serve as our 'home'. I would like everyone to answer that if possible, because it's something I believe that should please most of us at least.
@Morgaine Le Fay:
My dear friend, I know how you feel because I have had the same problem as you for a while and so did my beloved Lanthromire... we had some plannings to do about the wedding. ((we could log in again the day Bror posted that about being away.. I thought everybody would.. Im sorry to hear that, but I can wait for you to come back if it's the wedding that worries you about. If you can edit that post I would appreciate it..heh...it almost ruins my surprise... Ill answer you on a pm.))
I would like to announce that I am not dead, nor has anything happened to me. I have been travelling through the forests and such, while trying to discover my place in this town. I will return when I have a sense of who I am and what I want to do here. Take care in the mean time and I look forward to seeing you all again soon.
Never let your personal life interfere with work and never let work interfere with your personal life. They are two completely different things...
What is happening to you? Please tell us and maybe we can help... How have you been? I miss talking to you... I want our camps back!! its been a while since I havent been into a funny one... Please be safe, good friend.
*Cain Freemont finishes reading the newer posts on the board. Then with a sad look in his eye and a sharp pain in his side he writes:*
"Dearest Kalypse,
You wish to know what is going on with me? I would figure as much. You really are the kindest person I have ever met in my entire existence. You are always trying to help others before yourself...without any regard for your own well-being, it seems. Alas, that is not my problem. These past few days...weeks even...I have been contemplating as to what I have accomplished throughout my life. Sure, I have made the title of Master Spellcaster in the Magic Academy and have mastered the arts of both tailoring and fishing...but these are merely titles, measly goals that I have achieved through whatever crude means of monotonous training and mind-numbing reasoning I have performed.
In these past times, I have discovered a plethora of minute achievements all leading to where I am today. Just what kind of achievement is it for a man to fall in love with a woman, never tell her, and discover that she is to be wed with someone of which he does not think highly of? And is it any better that with every waking moment, that same man wonders what might have been had he taken action before, while at night awaking in cold sweat, fearing the day when he will never have any opportunity again? Not much of an accomplishment is what I say to that. You may think that this is dreary, self-centered, even preposterous, but do not even think of telling me that my view is only how I make it. All my life I have attempted to keep an optimistic view of anything that troubled me in my life, but this only seemed to worsen the anguish that my heart felt. I hope this answers your question as to how I have been.
Your other question..."What's happenening to you?" stirs me as I write this. Though I know it is with honest intentions, it seems to be asked in an almost cynical form. Here is my answer:
I am learning to take reality head-on. My mind has become much more clear and truthful to me over the past time I have been away. It shows me how things are, and sometimes how things will remain. It tells me what is real and what is not. I am discovering that what I have lived is a lying surrealism. A tainted form of a delusional reality. I have never had a grip on true reality until recently. A reality that speaks no lies and tells only what is true, no matter how blunt. I...do not condone to this form of reality. I sometimes wish that I could return to my delusional life, yet given the chance...I would probably refuse. This reality is much to strong to turn away from. It offers me truth beyond anything I have ever known. A wise bard once said:
'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.' "
*Cain's emotions seem to change as he continues to write*
"Kalypse I do not know whether or not you will understand the true nature of this poem, nor do I expect you to. For me, this poem has inspired the new sense of reality I have attained. I must admit, my new sense of reality I believe, is tearing me apart. Whenever I near a hopeful moment in the day, my chest heaves and I feel as though I am attacked by a barrage of needles. This is, I assume, a metaphysical barrier my mind has created to block out any anguish my soul may feel.
You say that you miss me. Well...with every moment I am awake, another part of me deteriorates. My emotions overrun me and I weep at not seeing you, yet knowing it is ridiculous to weep over."
*Cain clenches his chest and leans agains the wall next to him. He then stands up and tries to finish writing. His writing shows that his emotions are definitely getting the best of him*
"I..I must go. My heart is in an unbearable pain, one of which I have not dealt with for sometime. It would be detrimental, me seeing you again...but I feel that if I do not, I will turn into a soulless fool with only the sense of a truthful reality without hope to console him. I know I sound pathetic right now..and I ask for your forgiveness. I wish you the best of luck with Lanthromire, even if my opinion of him is low. I also wish for you to understand that it is not jealousy that feeds my poor thoughts of Lanthromire... Take care of yourself Kalypse, for you are perhaps the only person left capable of fending for themselves anymore."
*Cain falls over in pain and gets up to sign his name at the bottom of the letter*
- Kalypse reads the posts and as she finishes reading she has tears on her eyes and her hands shake too much to write anything understandable. She thinks to herself "I can't take this..."
I see, Brendan...Ridicule the people that feel they should express their opinion. I never thought you the person to do so!
Otherwise, you are correct...I have unloaded more worry on Kalypse than I thought would occur...I have never been so ashamed in my life and I await your "I told you so" cynicism. Do not worry though, I wont worry any of my friends anymore. I will just run to the forests when I see any of my friends. Would that make you happy and less worrysome? Knowing the person that expresses his opinions is out of your life? I hope so. Kalypse...There is no more need to worry. I will steer clear of everyone so that no one worries. Obviously my problems are much too ridiculous to be handled by even my friends. Well...that's fine...and once again I ask your forgiveness that I ever expressed myself. Im sorry I ever mentioned the name Lanthromire. Im sorry I hurt you. I am sorry that I placed the burden of worry on you seemingly more than anyone ever has. Im sorry I ever told you my true feelings, for if I hadnt, this discussion wouldnt be happening right now. Im sorry for everything that is me. I will leave for sometime, since my worry is too much for ANYONE to handle.
There was a time, when I wanted to be like the river
There was a time, when I wanted to fall in love.
There was a time, when I wanted to live a full life.
There was a time I wished to fly free like a dove.
There was a time when I wanted the world.
But now all I desire is to relinquish my worry from my friends.
-----Cain Freemont
I do not ever expect you to forgive me for anything I have ever said or done...because I am sure half of you wont want to. I wish you all the best of lives without me, I am sure that you will not worry so much anymore. I hope this is what you want...I have been trying to make everyone around me happy. But when I turn around and try to express myself..I am ridiculed from society and everyone worries more than I am worth. I guess my meditation taught me nothing...nothing ever has, it seems. Maybe...maybe I will learn the true meaning of happiness this way. There is one more thing I am sorry for, Kalypse. I am sorry that I never let you teach me to dance...Oh, how I am sorry for that. Well...I suppose everyone reading now understands what I am saying and is downright angered at my "ridiculous problem." So I think that I will begin to venture to other places, occasionally coming back to check these messages. I want you all to know that when I am avoiding you, I am still thinking of you constantly. I dont want anyone to worry any longer. I will pray for your arm to heal, even if it is already...something I would not know about my friends were I too absorbed in myself, I suppose.
*Kalypse stops breathing for a moment as she reads the posts and then calmly recovers her air and has a calm and conforting look in her eyes*
My dear friend Cain Freemont,
I thought you would have understood this about me by now, but since now I feel otherwise I force myself to try and put it on better words. This might also serve for other people who read this to understand a few other things about me that even I forget about myself sometimes, and that is when I feel like the whole world is falling apart when in fact it is not and never will. Before I continue with this, Cain, I would like to say that you are undoubtably one of the few good and closest friends I have ever had. I admit that all my latest concerns have made my heart a little bit harder and colder and feeling like nothing was really worthy of fighting for. I understand what your problem is and I have already offered you my assistance on anything you could possibly need last time we met... I appologize for my reaction to your last post, but I ask you to understand how shocked I was when I read that and I hope to be able to explain you why and together with that defend my other friend, Brendan Mason.
*Kalypse thinks for a moment, takes a deep breath and continues*
On the last few days I realized a few things that I have to share before this becomes a snow ball. First, my worries by itself could never ever hurt me because that is part of my nature and I do that because I WANT to. If that would be the reason I get hurt then it's my own fault. The thing is, I don't get hurt from that and I know it because thanks to Brendan I could make him see things he couldn't and I myself saw things I couldn't before. One thing I already knew but not as clearly is that you get hurt more when you don't say things and when you don't hear things, not the opposite. I'll try to explain... If you don't say things people don't know what you think and feel and if they don't know we can't expect them to guess what is happening to us and believe me, the feeling you get is that they ignore your troubled look when most people can't notice the difference at all. So eventually you feel like they are putting you aside when in fact isolation comes from yourself. I am saying this because I have been through a time like this recently. Same thought goes for when you hear nothing from the people you care about... you can't find the solution for a problem that never arose and you can't deal correctly with one problem if you don't understand the whole situation. Our minds work the best they can considering the information we have, but we don't have all the needed information we will never be able to do our bests. The other thing that probably upset me was not my own worries, but a few good friends that felt bad for seeing me sad when I should be happy. And the case with Brendan upset me not because I was sad about what he said, because what he said was based on his own conclusions that he took considering the facts he knew about and at that time he was just trying to be a friend who wishes the best for me. He changed his mind after listening to my point of view, but that was his own choice. I offered you my attention once and I do this again now. If still you choose not to come to me I will be sad for losing such a good friend, which is much more important to me than any worries I could ever have... but I will understand, since that is the path you chose to follow based on your own point of view.
One more thing I would like to add... I do love Lanthromire, Cain... "why?" you may ask... my answer would be "why not?" I asked Brendan something similar to know what he had against him and all he could say that upset him were a few words Lan said as a joke and were misunderstood... like I presenced myself a few things he said that could be easily turned against him for a passer by who doesn't know the two parts involved or the whole situation and the time and depth of a friendship. Who never joked at a close friend come to me and I will not know if I bow in respect or if I feel sorry for this person, because in a friendship both parts would have fun and smile, and that is one of the things I value most, because a single smile can do wonders to your soul if you let it. You say your thoughts are low towards Lan, but you don't tell me why. The only thing I can do now is to trust my own view of him, which is that of a shy, but beautiful person inside. And even when he speaks some harsh words... yes, I admit he does sometimes... but they are usually trying to protect someone or his own point of view, so before judgements are made on how he said it and before he is blamed for being cold I ask people to ask themselves why he said it and to consider also his point of view. I know what being compared to someone can do to a person's mind and a few people have compared him to my old love and that is tearing him apart on the inside and making him try to prove you all how much he is worthy of me when he could just love me and let people know eventually and that makes him look colder because he has to measure everything he does because you are all judging his behaviour.
That's all I have to say for now.......
*a familiar looking elf playing a familiar tune on a lute strolls up to the board (clothed). He reads the boards and rests his lute before putting pen to paper*
Greetings all, I have returned from what I could call 'hell'. I see much has changed since I have been away . . . I wish you all peace.
@Cain, I see you are troubled, I will be here if you need me for help, that also goes for all my friends too.
...As I had thought, my message was misconstrued as a means of getting attention and creating a sense of pity towards me...This is not at all what I wanted to happen. Dammit...Why can I never explain myself without someone thinking I am out for attention or pity.
I never said, "Please someone, pity me! My life is soooo sad and I need your attention towards me." I merely wanted to voice my thoughts, in an attempt to explain myself thoroughly. Apparently it did not work in the least bit.
I never asked why you loved Lanthromire, Kalypse. And I understand that you are probably confused as to why I have not explained why I think "so lowly" of him. Please understand, I have no intention of explaining myself. This is because there are no words to describe it...It can only be shown through action and reaction.........................
I think that at this point, I have used every ounce of vocabulary I can think up, thus I will cease my mindless ramblings and explanations, since like before, it will probably get me nowhere. Kalypse, please meet me in the library. I have something to give you.
@Khanor:
I thank you for wanting to help, but I do not know what will come of me even if I do seek it. I am glad to see that your psychotic episode is rectified. Take care.
I welcome our new member Lief Deltora... I hope you enjoy your stay with us. I was supposed to have done that earlier but I have been quite busy these days. ((and Im having some technical problems with my connection so Im sorry if I havent added your name to the website yet, Ill do it as soon as I am able to... also I appologise to my friends that I havent been around lately. This is one time that strange things happen..hehe))
Greetings to all the community... may we all live in peace.
Hello Kalypse and
Hello to all I know (or I don't know ),
It's very hard for me, to read all these long messages.
So my only question is:
Do we have a place, where we can meet?
I'm very sad, never seeing any of you in the last times;
especially you Kalypse!
So I hope I will meet at least one or two of you
and I really want to get to know you all...
I really hope to see you soon too, my dear friend Elkrim... I miss you all... the place is still not decided because not so many give their opinions here unfortunately... and I cant get them together to discuss it.. so Elkrim, where do you think it should be?
but don´t worry, my dear friend... first things come first...hihi.. everything has it´s place and time to happen. 
),