((open for anyone who wants to let us know what Mas was like for their char and how they recover from it))
Clairette closed the door of the flat and turned the key, just as she always did. Mas was over, a new year lay ahead. What would it bring? Time would tell.
Little Paw and Rubyn scamperd over to greet her. The dog waving it's tail and barking happily, the young ratkin Rubyn showing a smile and expressing his joy with squeals and little gestures. Smelly Slime on the other hand was trying to slip under Miria's bed instead of greeting her, a telltale dark spot inside the creature indicating that it had eaten something it shouldn't have, likely the ink bottle or another of Claire's missing socks or enchanted trinkets. Claire would have to get it back.
Tired from standing on the walls, Claire narrowed her eyes at Smelly Slime, but said nothing. She needed to rest. Mas was over, the stress of standing guard and the burden of responsbility gone, now the exhaustion kicked in. So she smiled at the pets, gave headpats and ruffeld their fur - "Yes, good to see you, too." - and then slumped into bed quite inappropriately for a Lady.
Mas had been quiet. Very quite. No battles, nothing in Galmair. At least twice she had heard people say it was too quiet. It had been unnerving, but in the end the most appreciable result. What bothered her was what she had learned from Acerd, as well as Creepy's reaction. Should she have checked sooner for the doll's reaction? And what about Reace? On top of all this bad news, Claire had learned the next time that she came to Cadomyr that Acerd had become sick... Well, likely not her problem. And there was hope that those things were not related to each other. Her own problem was another one: For her it was embarrassing and most unappreciated to not realise this connection of Acerd earlier and thus failing to do proper research. She had been taught that one's own problems should always be the most important, so as long as Mount Letma would not start jumping around across the lands and she would find it in front of Galmair's town gate. Then it would disturb her view from the balcony. She would focus on her own business, and then on that of her allies. Then came common every day Galmairian issues.
The things she should worry about were: The history research, the uncooperative drow and the Shaman's suggestion of an illusion spell. Her apprentice's attitude and the approaching end of the basic training. She didn't know how to feel about it. Relieved or sad or a bit of both? She'd also have to think about what to write on a certificate, when the day came... Then there were papers she had gathered from the Salavesh cultists, the last time when Galmair and her Cadomirian allies had raided the hideout of Prea's helpers. She still struggled to make sense of the writings. The memory of the poisoned humans made her angry. Very, very angry. She'd appreciate another chance to go back there and this time she'd enjoy seeing these cultists suffer under her blade. Wait, no... it wouldn't help, revenge wouldn't change anything. Hadn't she already learned that lesson long ago?
Linette's mocking voice and a scene in the dungeon under the palace came to her mind. Her older sister scolding her harshly for improper behaviour, while someone's cries of pain echoed in the dark hallway. She, the little girl, she had been sullenly rubbing the tears from her eyes, staring at the dungeon floor and gritting her teeth to avoid saying anything that would gain her more of Linette's disdain. Clairette remembered clearly that she dared not to speak up to her sister again, though she was feeling pity for the prisoner. She wished to tell her siblings to stop the torture, she herself had demanded should happen to the miserable prisoner. She also remembered how lonely and empty she felt without Aleante by her side. Just as all the years that had passed by had changed little about the feeling, torturing one of the family who had taken him away from her would not return her brother to her. Nothing ever would. No attempt to fill that emptyness with thirst of revenge would succeed. There was no joy to be found in others suffering, Clairette had learned this lesson that day. Instead she still felt sad, lonely and on top of that she rued to have asked her siblings to make the prisoner suffer. What she hadn't felt back then, though, was disdain for her siblings enthusiasm to comply to her request. "No good perzon wantss to act cruel. I don't believe you do either. That makess you a good perzon." Sir S'rrt K'shire told her when they had been standing on Cadomyr's walls. Was she a good person? Clairette wasn't sure of that, but clever enough to realise it was expected of her to pass as one. Had her siblings been evil persons? Would they even have cared about this? Likely not. Clairette on the other hand did care, she was aware of that she had been learning and changing in the years she had spend in Galmair. Era hat told her of sand that can be molten to glass, and once that happend it can't return back to being sand. At what point was it too much change? A fear slowly floated up from somewhere hidden in her depths of her skull. What if she had changed too much already to return to her old home? Would she be able to rule her house? "You are better than you think. You could achieve many thingss if you had a bit more confidence. But be wary of becoming a leader, it iss hard work." the cadomyrian Elderknight told her. Left Hand Oxiana once had told her the same, that she lacked confidence. It puzzled her. She didn't feel lacking in confidence. Was her display of respect and proper behaviour mistaken for low confidence, again? Should she change her behaviour? She'd have to think about that... but first, she'd have to stop pondering and finally start to sleep.
Mas 67 to Elos 68
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