It is sad to see you go, even if we roleplayed very little together, you were truley great. We were not that close but maybe we can still talk on msn sometimes
Ruben
A real-live Bye-Illarion post.
Moderator: Gamemasters
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Pendar
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2004 3:36 am
- Location: Founding member of H.A.L ~home for abused lichs~http://h.a.l.istheshit.net/
This topic cannot be locked, with around 15 points I alone could reply on, locking it as it expressed opinions may offend some one would be most undiplomatic.
Especially as it certainly appears Chrissy made this post to explain why she was leaving air a grievance and say goodbye. When you staff you put yourself in position to take some press good and bad...
Now why am i here...
I was involved with the old SBS quest team, and as such have some insight into how these things usually play out in Illarion or any online com. 10 people congregate, 8 people talk -alot- and two people do 90% of the work.
It was often that way with the GM team, one of the key reasons in my leaving was being referred to inactive staffer who had no interest in helping or engaging me to make changes to TB and such. It was definitely that way with SBS I recall Jen doing numerous small quests, Art contests, stories and poems among others. While many SBS did not even attend on there player character accounts.
The excuse is awlays RL, yeah we all get busy in real life but very few people have the good grace to step down when real life gets in the way of this hobby commitment.
My actual point if you want staff, player quests or a map team to work make it informally contractual. A person agrees to do X a week or month and if they fail to reach there quota they are asked to step down "no hard feelings".
If there life becomes less busy they could always join again when some one else is nudged aside by real life commitment.
So simple and practical but it never works that way why, as staff, councils, teams and guilds in an online game are all clique people would rather pass favors than risk some one "not as experienced" making a mistake. You do realize an active mistake is far better than an inactive genius....
Yeah take this and learn from it, I really cannot comment on who does what, when or how and can no longer really bring myself to care who stays or goes.
How ever if its loosely contractual some ones performance can be scaled and rated and even presented. So no one can say X is to inactive, and X cannot say the expectation was unfair....
An active group changing by monthly will eventually find its 8 passionate members, and eventually surpass a stagnant 10.
Btw some people ran things really well and did so much Illarion was built and maintained by hugely dedicated people. How ever you all know who you are I don’t need to pat those who did as they said they would.
Weather staff read this or simply the next or even current ESQ leader reads this, issues like these have always abounded in illarion and still haunt the GM staff with inactive relics of the past holding power for no reason but there earlier action.
For once let something be learnt instead of axes grinded and the same old thing happening again, regardless.
Yours possibly eternally lurking
Brian
Especially as it certainly appears Chrissy made this post to explain why she was leaving air a grievance and say goodbye. When you staff you put yourself in position to take some press good and bad...
Now why am i here...
I was involved with the old SBS quest team, and as such have some insight into how these things usually play out in Illarion or any online com. 10 people congregate, 8 people talk -alot- and two people do 90% of the work.
It was often that way with the GM team, one of the key reasons in my leaving was being referred to inactive staffer who had no interest in helping or engaging me to make changes to TB and such. It was definitely that way with SBS I recall Jen doing numerous small quests, Art contests, stories and poems among others. While many SBS did not even attend on there player character accounts.
The excuse is awlays RL, yeah we all get busy in real life but very few people have the good grace to step down when real life gets in the way of this hobby commitment.
My actual point if you want staff, player quests or a map team to work make it informally contractual. A person agrees to do X a week or month and if they fail to reach there quota they are asked to step down "no hard feelings".
If there life becomes less busy they could always join again when some one else is nudged aside by real life commitment.
So simple and practical but it never works that way why, as staff, councils, teams and guilds in an online game are all clique people would rather pass favors than risk some one "not as experienced" making a mistake. You do realize an active mistake is far better than an inactive genius....
Yeah take this and learn from it, I really cannot comment on who does what, when or how and can no longer really bring myself to care who stays or goes.
How ever if its loosely contractual some ones performance can be scaled and rated and even presented. So no one can say X is to inactive, and X cannot say the expectation was unfair....
An active group changing by monthly will eventually find its 8 passionate members, and eventually surpass a stagnant 10.
Btw some people ran things really well and did so much Illarion was built and maintained by hugely dedicated people. How ever you all know who you are I don’t need to pat those who did as they said they would.
Weather staff read this or simply the next or even current ESQ leader reads this, issues like these have always abounded in illarion and still haunt the GM staff with inactive relics of the past holding power for no reason but there earlier action.
For once let something be learnt instead of axes grinded and the same old thing happening again, regardless.
Yours possibly eternally lurking
Brian
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Cain Freemont
- Posts: 1424
- Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2002 8:54 pm
- Location: Oh, you know. Places.
Quinasa wrote:It isn't a discussion. Christina's leaving isn't up for discussion. She's left, goodbye, she made up her mind. This isn't up for discussion. This went from a goodbye thread to an everybody bash Loralyn thread. Discussions dont take place with pointing fingers and dirty accusations, they happen with sincere care for the subject and in a diplomatic fashion. You're right, Cain. Just like a staff member. And oh, look. I'm a staff member. I'm looking out for not only my sister but for the welfare of the game. When you people can solve your issues in a civilized manner then and only then will I let you have your discussion.Cain Freemont wrote:Quinasa wrote:I agree. Now everyone say goodbye to Christina before I lock this thread. She didn't make it to be hurtful, she made it to say goodbye.
Yes, that sounds pretty much like a staff member. Lock something when a discussion is needed. It stops the fight, but accomplishes nothing.
I'm glad you blend in so well with the other dictators. I think... that when the odds are stacked THAT high against a person.. it is far too fantasy-world to think that they are completely innocent. Perhaps there's a reason all this is being brought up? I think it stands to reason. But I'm sure when you run out of things to say, you'll lock the thread. I also think you are prone to bias in this issue, considering that she is your sister. I've certainly seen plenty of that in the past.
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Devrah Liioness
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Tue May 17, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: Bitch exists between keyboard and chair.
- Contact:
Please do not post any personal attacks in my thread. It wasn't what it was intended for. I feel great that some people have expressed appreciation for the things I have done, and that makes me feel like my time here wasn't completely wasted. While I do feel that almost every staff member has some great contributions chalked up to them as well as a vast number of mistakes (and I'm including myself in this, under former staff), this isn't the thread to discuss it. I posted everything I posted just so everyone would understand the conditions that led me to my choice, and to understand that the choice is irreversible.
Again, I really appreciate... well, the appreciation. I would be an idiot if I said I was going to miss you all, because I'm still going to be there on your MSN buddy lists
Ciao.
Again, I really appreciate... well, the appreciation. I would be an idiot if I said I was going to miss you all, because I'm still going to be there on your MSN buddy lists
Ciao.
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Quinasa
- Posts: 2959
- Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:34 am
- Location: The land of cuteness and stuff!
- Contact:
I completely agree that ESQS has fallen under. But it isn't the blame of a single person. The responsibility rests on everyone's shoulders. A GM is placed in charge of ESQS to guide and help. Not to make EVERYTHING happen. She isn't just in charge of ESQS. She does other things as well. If the players need a GM to tell them what to do then perhaps ESQS should be dissolved and everything left up to the GMs as it used to be. I didn't say she was completely innocent, she just isn't as bad as you're making her out to be and theres no cause for making her feel worthless and offended when she does a lot for the game and the community.
Signed,
Secret Dictator J
P.S.
I love you Christina.
Signed,
Secret Dictator J
P.S.
I love you Christina.
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Pronon Palmsuger
- Posts: 245
- Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 4:42 am
Though I don't think she really cares, I genuinly enjoyed Deverah. I don't know anything about flaws of the game, I haven't played it for some time and even when I did I wasn't much involved, but the complaints seem relativley the same as they've been forever, so I won't waste words on it, even though they wouldn't be read if I did.
I have to say that I'll miss Deverah. She argued her points well, seemed to dislike the same persons I disliked. From my perspective: She understood the futility of the games petty politics but did something I could not: she played them well, and worked within the rules to change things.
I felt some of her posts were a tad arrogant (The mock of Hadrians "I'm Back" Thread) But overall she made well thought out posts and critiqued flawed ideas through proper practice.
You'll be missed.
I have to say that I'll miss Deverah. She argued her points well, seemed to dislike the same persons I disliked. From my perspective: She understood the futility of the games petty politics but did something I could not: she played them well, and worked within the rules to change things.
I felt some of her posts were a tad arrogant (The mock of Hadrians "I'm Back" Thread) But overall she made well thought out posts and critiqued flawed ideas through proper practice.
You'll be missed.
Quin, I feel you need to back off a bit here. You're taking this too personally. Devrah left and she also left her two cents on what went wrong. It's on-topic to discuss those things, even if it's hurtful.Quinasa wrote:It isn't a discussion. Christina's leaving isn't up for discussion. She's left, goodbye, she made up her mind. This isn't up for discussion. This went from a goodbye thread to an everybody bash Loralyn thread. Discussions dont take place with pointing fingers and dirty accusations, they happen with sincere care for the subject and in a diplomatic fashion. You're right, Cain. Just like a staff member. And oh, look. I'm a staff member. I'm looking out for not only my sister but for the welfare of the game. When you people can solve your issues in a civilized manner then and only then will I let you have your discussion.Cain Freemont wrote:Quinasa wrote:I agree. Now everyone say goodbye to Christina before I lock this thread. She didn't make it to be hurtful, she made it to say goodbye.
Yes, that sounds pretty much like a staff member. Lock something when a discussion is needed. It stops the fight, but accomplishes nothing.
While we don't have a right to attack anyone on these boards, no one is protected from being hurt by what we say otherwise.
wow craziness... 
it's Sad to See Devrah Go she was definatly a worhwhile member of our team. she'll definatly be missed.
as to this Keiken banning characters thing umm
anyone. i'm pretty sure Dev's aren't supposed to do that...let alone because they feel personally slighted
everyone should just stop bashing loralyn, one person can't be everywhere at once. biggest issue i've ever had was the need for GM assistance. which is understandable as we have only one GM. but she does a fine job as i see it, communication between the members could be better if anyting but i don't see any need for the the harshness.
as to Activity in the ESQS main thing is that i think one person can really only focus on one thing at a time. for instance i have a major quest in the works but i also have my teaching quest that is going to require even more time then i can give it right now. alot of times when people think of quest activity they think of the big flashy things with lots of effects and major battles and such, but there's quests happening alot of the times that are so small or so mundane that they tend to get overlooked. when people try to do to many things at once they stretch themselves to thin and then either nothing happens at all or the results are always bad.
without Devrah we're going to be pulling even thinner as i see it, and it's a shame to lose another member, especially one with more experience and charisma then most, Goodbye From me to you Devrah, and hope you come back soon.
it's Sad to See Devrah Go she was definatly a worhwhile member of our team. she'll definatly be missed.
as to this Keiken banning characters thing umm
anyone. i'm pretty sure Dev's aren't supposed to do that...let alone because they feel personally slightedeveryone should just stop bashing loralyn, one person can't be everywhere at once. biggest issue i've ever had was the need for GM assistance. which is understandable as we have only one GM. but she does a fine job as i see it, communication between the members could be better if anyting but i don't see any need for the the harshness.
as to Activity in the ESQS main thing is that i think one person can really only focus on one thing at a time. for instance i have a major quest in the works but i also have my teaching quest that is going to require even more time then i can give it right now. alot of times when people think of quest activity they think of the big flashy things with lots of effects and major battles and such, but there's quests happening alot of the times that are so small or so mundane that they tend to get overlooked. when people try to do to many things at once they stretch themselves to thin and then either nothing happens at all or the results are always bad.
without Devrah we're going to be pulling even thinner as i see it, and it's a shame to lose another member, especially one with more experience and charisma then most, Goodbye From me to you Devrah, and hope you come back soon.
I don't think anyone *is* bashing Loralyn, least of all me. What I *am* saying is that Devrah was already punished once for the action. To kick her out of the ESQS for it on top of that and then use the half-arsed excuse about activity when there are people who are much less active, is a mistake...Athian wrote:
everyone should just stop bashing loralyn, one person can't be everywhere at once. biggest issue i've ever had was the need for GM assistance. which is understandable as we have only one GM. but she does a fine job as i see it, communication between the members could be better if anyting but i don't see any need for the the harshness.
as to Activity in the ESQS main thing is that i think one person can really only focus on one thing at a time. for instance i have a major quest in the works but i also have my teaching quest that is going to require even more time then i can give it right now. alot of times when people think of quest activity they think of the big flashy things with lots of effects and major battles and such, but there's quests happening alot of the times that are so small or so mundane that they tend to get overlooked. when people try to do to many things at once they stretch themselves to thin and then either nothing happens at all or the results are always bad.
without Devrah we're going to be pulling even thinner as i see it, and it's a shame to lose another member, especially one with more experience and charisma then most, Goodbye From me to you Devrah, and hope you come back soon.
GM's can make mistakes, sure, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't tell them when we feel they've made a mistake, or expect them to right whatever wrong they've done.
And yes, I said I'm worried about the ESQS' oversight. I'll likely be worried about it regardless, though. The ESQS is my baby that I had to put up for adoption, and I just want to feel that it's being watched. If it's not, and if it's causing trouble, I'm left to regret it.
I hate these threads ;[. Firstly Chrissy ill miss you babes, you know i'll miss you, we may no longer get the oppertunity to roleplay due to our lifes and timezones but there was always the chance for it in the past which gave me something to smile about.
Chrissy like many people in this community is/was very opinionated and that is what made her, her. Some people may have got upset by her writings but she could be a luvly as she could be bitchy, which in my opinion rocks as you never know what your going to get.
ESQS meh, i speak from personal experience that the team has died down and gone down hill, there are a few who did run quests whilst i was within it and strangely enough Devrah was one of these people, you know the type, the one bugging you on MSN to play some cute halfling when they know for a blatant fact that your bad at cute ;] But yes she was IMO the most active team member apart from Jen when it came to quests, and i think she could have been more active if it wasnt for time. Because all the spare time she got she did use to help the community. Where was i? Oh yes ESQS i personally quit because it diddnt agree with what i imagined a quest team should do but that my own fault ;] The reason im adding this last bit is to inform the players that people in the ESQS put up with nearly as much or more crap from players and GMSas the GM's themselves . They plan quests for days on end to only have certain GM's decide to come IG at exactly the same point as the quest with a singing turtle which poops out magical longswords of sweetness. And strangely enough the people who the ESQS person had gathered and got interested in thier quest lose interest for the reason that this magical singing turtle we shall call Elvis may give them one of these awesome swords so wander off following the turtle. Leaving the befuddled ESQS person alone with thier thoughts and over a weeks worth of planning down the drain :p
And Keikan banning her for that quest planner thing,, hell man what are you doing. I thought it was a great quest idea and was ready to get involved myself, on the serious note of this point as well. Far more people had abused this feature and had nothing done against them, targetting Chrissie is discrimination.
Love ya Chrissy and will miss you!
Come back babes!!
Chrissy like many people in this community is/was very opinionated and that is what made her, her. Some people may have got upset by her writings but she could be a luvly as she could be bitchy, which in my opinion rocks as you never know what your going to get.
ESQS meh, i speak from personal experience that the team has died down and gone down hill, there are a few who did run quests whilst i was within it and strangely enough Devrah was one of these people, you know the type, the one bugging you on MSN to play some cute halfling when they know for a blatant fact that your bad at cute ;] But yes she was IMO the most active team member apart from Jen when it came to quests, and i think she could have been more active if it wasnt for time. Because all the spare time she got she did use to help the community. Where was i? Oh yes ESQS i personally quit because it diddnt agree with what i imagined a quest team should do but that my own fault ;] The reason im adding this last bit is to inform the players that people in the ESQS put up with nearly as much or more crap from players and GMSas the GM's themselves . They plan quests for days on end to only have certain GM's decide to come IG at exactly the same point as the quest with a singing turtle which poops out magical longswords of sweetness. And strangely enough the people who the ESQS person had gathered and got interested in thier quest lose interest for the reason that this magical singing turtle we shall call Elvis may give them one of these awesome swords so wander off following the turtle. Leaving the befuddled ESQS person alone with thier thoughts and over a weeks worth of planning down the drain :p
And Keikan banning her for that quest planner thing,, hell man what are you doing. I thought it was a great quest idea and was ready to get involved myself, on the serious note of this point as well. Far more people had abused this feature and had nothing done against them, targetting Chrissie is discrimination.
Love ya Chrissy and will miss you!
Come back babes!!
(( Presses the edit button.. Meh im lazy ))
Ive read some of the thread, even though i dont usually listen to other peoples opinions as im always right, which you all know of course. But what i have to say is this is not a time to start pointing fingers at each other, were not at playschool come on now. I know for a fact Loralyn is active, damned if she isnt one of the more active GM's but as people say theres no 'I' in team and if you want the ESQS to work, work together. You have great people in the group such as Arameh who from the sound of you dont abuse like you should :p Abuse him, abuse him.
This reflects why Chrissy is getting dropped, which i personally think is idiotic, completly infact. I think a letter should be sent to her begging her to come back personally, but of yes where was i!! Right ! yes the reason chrissy got dropped and no other IMO would be that she was one of the most active team members, so her lack of time has shown itself more than any others because of the amount of work she did put in. Im sure she still did as much as the average member if not more.
Ive read some of the thread, even though i dont usually listen to other peoples opinions as im always right, which you all know of course. But what i have to say is this is not a time to start pointing fingers at each other, were not at playschool come on now. I know for a fact Loralyn is active, damned if she isnt one of the more active GM's but as people say theres no 'I' in team and if you want the ESQS to work, work together. You have great people in the group such as Arameh who from the sound of you dont abuse like you should :p Abuse him, abuse him.
This reflects why Chrissy is getting dropped, which i personally think is idiotic, completly infact. I think a letter should be sent to her begging her to come back personally, but of yes where was i!! Right ! yes the reason chrissy got dropped and no other IMO would be that she was one of the most active team members, so her lack of time has shown itself more than any others because of the amount of work she did put in. Im sure she still did as much as the average member if not more.
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Keikan Hiru
- Posts: 3482
- Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:46 pm
Re: A real-live Bye-Illarion post.
Why did you not said the same things to me as you said to martin?Devrah Windslasher ~ wrote: I told Martin that I knew I had done something that was frowned upon; that it had been immature and stupid, and most importantly -- and truthfully -- that I would not do it again. At this, it seemed to me that the situation was solved, and everyone was happy.
This would have avoided all the trouble here.
Just these words and you would only got this notation in your account and nothing more.
Just like Grant got.
Unfortunatly you decided to take another route and this is where it leads to, and now that you are there and felt the pressure of our thumb on your head then and only then you start to apologize.
Too late, I am afraid.
Of course, I have to agree that I made a mistake in this case, but only because I missunderstood something while discussing the upcoming decision with other staff members.
Yep, thats right. I talked to two different people about the possible outcome of this. No Lone-Wolf-Crazy-Keikan-Action here.
I banned the wrong set of characters in your account.
I am sorry, I am human.
We have corrected this at the instant I was informed about my mistake.
People saying that Devrah was punished more then once for a single action are wrong.
The punishment was: 'Removal of special rights', which we did.
Nothing more, but nothing less.
Seems like there is nothing more to add but:
Bye bye.
P.S.:
If people want to bitch at me because of this decision, I cleared my PM inbox and happly read everything you are going to send me.
The quest planner was used in a wrong way, by new players who didn't know, what the heck this thing does.
You Devrah know this, and you abused it anyway.
You answer to Keikan (i know what you have written) was really arrogant and didn't contain a single excuse, for this fooling.
And you wrote that you don't give a pap for a banning, because you don't play this game anymore.
You have chosen the punishment for this crap.
be well
Nitram
You Devrah know this, and you abused it anyway.
You answer to Keikan (i know what you have written) was really arrogant and didn't contain a single excuse, for this fooling.
And you wrote that you don't give a pap for a banning, because you don't play this game anymore.
You have chosen the punishment for this crap.
be well
Nitram
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Keikan Hiru
- Posts: 3482
- Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:46 pm
I'd rather not like to be called this way, I prefer the term Cassandra and martin used on the last real life meeting: "Seer"Markous wrote:Keikan works as a Gamemaster ingame.
If I'd be a gamemaster again, I would have to think of quests and stuff. I am not very good at this. I'd give a helping hand from time to time, but I am not very good in the whole planing part.
As "Seer" I can concentrate on the dirty work and most of all the "paperwork" that the community burdens us with.
So yeah, I picked the best parts of it and stuffed it into a brand new label.
Maybe I should ask Alatar to give me a custom user title to avoid missunderstandings.
So far for this little off-topic post.
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Kevin Lightdot
- Posts: 2849
- Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2005 8:17 pm
- Location: Green again
Answer: Bring me in.Taylor wrote:
Loralyn has allowed the ESQS to become understaffed without a care in the world, By my count we are atleast two players down than the normal ammount, and not once since the last person was brough in (About a month ago) Have I seen her make an active effort to get new players into the ESQS.
As Mitch has said, I am also worried about the ESQS. We are highly understaffed and can hardly do anything with a GM who denies about 70% of requests to do Quests for the Player base. So here is a conclusion that is to this synopsis.
Heh, just kidding. Wouldn't have to much time exept for weekends and vacations, quite alot of things usuable for such quests tend to randomly pop up in my mind though, and dissapear a few moments later sadly
Well, I dunno much about the ESQS or whatever but I just *had* to post something.
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Garett Gwenour
- Posts: 2360
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2005 2:18 am
- Location: Is Roleplay in YOU ?
Re: A real-live Bye-Illarion post.
your behind the times, it is the Demon of IllarionKeikan Hiru wrote: Lone-Wolf-Crazy-Keikan-Action here.
now..
I wonder if you'll catch it, either way I couldn't help it
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Devrah Liioness
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Tue May 17, 2005 10:00 am
- Location: Bitch exists between keyboard and chair.
- Contact:
I just want to point out one little teensy thing that no one seems to have caught on to yet:
Keikan blatantly admitted my ban was because of a personal grudge: basically, that I didn't kiss his ass.
I'm a woman who works full time, goes to school full time, and have had to be damn independent for my age, and I am NOT going to be lectured and goaded into snivelling apologies by someone as arrogant, rude, and in my not-so-humble opinion, as power-hungry as Keikan.
If anyone in the entire game besides Keikan had been the one to contact me, and if it had been done in an interactive setting instead of just "Snivel or else" it would have been a lot more productive.
Keikan is known for being a dick. He thinks he is above everyone else here, and that reflects in his writing. It reflected a lot in what he wrote to me, and ESPECIALLY in the fact that no one could even be assed to contact me regarding the whole ESQS thing. If there was more than one authority involved in my banning, then there should have been more than one authority that spoke to me.
Given that Keikan has been known to abuse his power in the past, whereas I have never once played a pushed character, or pushed a character's stats (Contrary to whatever stories Sam has been spreading around -- it's all news to me), I was and am pretty insulted that no one spoke to me, but accepted whatever he spewed.
I've always known this community was fickle, but damn. And hey, I know I was never everyone's best friend -- but I had liked to believe I had shown myself time and again to be trustworthy. I turned down a position of power because I did not feel that I was ready for it, or could be dedicated enough - and also because I didn't think it was fair to take that position from someone with more experience in this game than I had. Every quest I ever devised required no pushed characters at all, and there have been doezens of times I've logged in with a quest character to engage one or a handful of players in mini-quests; Dig out my old logs. I must have dedicated 100 ingame hours to helping new players. In short, I contributed so much to this community, and because I post one smart-ass thing that most people found boring and a few found amusing -- and this means that Keikan is allowed to speak to me like I'm his bitch? Sorry, I don't operate that way.
I was a staff member of Illarion, if in a small way/ More importantly than that, I was a player. If Keikan wanted respect from me, he should have been respectful towards me. I have never been one to suck up to authority figures and play the adoring fan role. To me, everyone is only a person behind a screen, and since I was insulted and angered by the way Keikan addressed me, I addressed him in similar form.
Blame everything on me if it makes you feel better, but don't even try to tell me that you were sweet as pie, Keikan. Next time you want to get somewhere with someone, talk to them as an equal, not an inferior. You may or may not have had more power than me in this community, but I am every bit as much a person as you, and I deserve respect if you want me to give it back to you.
I think if you had tried once talking to me like a person and not like your fucking loyal subject you might ahve been surprised at how agreeable I can be.
I recall Japheth having a discussion with me about an ingame event in the past (involving the roleplay with Rhiannon's father -- not that it matters anymore) and I bet he could tell you that I was accomodating and polite in our conversation, admitting my faults -- because he wasn't rude to me about it.
Maybe sometime in three or five years I will happen across this game again, and maybe I'll start to play. If that happens, and the few of you who seem to forget you're not immortal are still around, I hope you can step off your pedestal a bit and allow me to do the same -- but it's a two-way street, and if you're going to act like an asshole, I am not going to grovel at your feet.
Keikan blatantly admitted my ban was because of a personal grudge: basically, that I didn't kiss his ass.
I'm a woman who works full time, goes to school full time, and have had to be damn independent for my age, and I am NOT going to be lectured and goaded into snivelling apologies by someone as arrogant, rude, and in my not-so-humble opinion, as power-hungry as Keikan.
If anyone in the entire game besides Keikan had been the one to contact me, and if it had been done in an interactive setting instead of just "Snivel or else" it would have been a lot more productive.
Keikan is known for being a dick. He thinks he is above everyone else here, and that reflects in his writing. It reflected a lot in what he wrote to me, and ESPECIALLY in the fact that no one could even be assed to contact me regarding the whole ESQS thing. If there was more than one authority involved in my banning, then there should have been more than one authority that spoke to me.
Given that Keikan has been known to abuse his power in the past, whereas I have never once played a pushed character, or pushed a character's stats (Contrary to whatever stories Sam has been spreading around -- it's all news to me), I was and am pretty insulted that no one spoke to me, but accepted whatever he spewed.
I've always known this community was fickle, but damn. And hey, I know I was never everyone's best friend -- but I had liked to believe I had shown myself time and again to be trustworthy. I turned down a position of power because I did not feel that I was ready for it, or could be dedicated enough - and also because I didn't think it was fair to take that position from someone with more experience in this game than I had. Every quest I ever devised required no pushed characters at all, and there have been doezens of times I've logged in with a quest character to engage one or a handful of players in mini-quests; Dig out my old logs. I must have dedicated 100 ingame hours to helping new players. In short, I contributed so much to this community, and because I post one smart-ass thing that most people found boring and a few found amusing -- and this means that Keikan is allowed to speak to me like I'm his bitch? Sorry, I don't operate that way.
I was a staff member of Illarion, if in a small way/ More importantly than that, I was a player. If Keikan wanted respect from me, he should have been respectful towards me. I have never been one to suck up to authority figures and play the adoring fan role. To me, everyone is only a person behind a screen, and since I was insulted and angered by the way Keikan addressed me, I addressed him in similar form.
Blame everything on me if it makes you feel better, but don't even try to tell me that you were sweet as pie, Keikan. Next time you want to get somewhere with someone, talk to them as an equal, not an inferior. You may or may not have had more power than me in this community, but I am every bit as much a person as you, and I deserve respect if you want me to give it back to you.
I think if you had tried once talking to me like a person and not like your fucking loyal subject you might ahve been surprised at how agreeable I can be.
I recall Japheth having a discussion with me about an ingame event in the past (involving the roleplay with Rhiannon's father -- not that it matters anymore) and I bet he could tell you that I was accomodating and polite in our conversation, admitting my faults -- because he wasn't rude to me about it.
Maybe sometime in three or five years I will happen across this game again, and maybe I'll start to play. If that happens, and the few of you who seem to forget you're not immortal are still around, I hope you can step off your pedestal a bit and allow me to do the same -- but it's a two-way street, and if you're going to act like an asshole, I am not going to grovel at your feet.
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Garett Gwenour
- Posts: 2360
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2005 2:18 am
- Location: Is Roleplay in YOU ?